A Bozo Criminal AND Darwin Award Winner!

NATCHEZ, Mississippi (Reuters) – The fully-clothed skeletal remains of a man found in the chimney of an historic Mississippi building last week were those of a bungling burglar missing for more than 15 years, police said Wednesday.

The remains of Calvin Wilson, 27, were found on Friday by masons renovating a building in the historic part of Natchez, Mississippi, a town about 100 miles southwest of the state capital Jackson.

Wilson disappeared in 1985. At that time, there was a gift shop in the building, which dates from before the Civil War.

“His criminal record shows he was a burglar, so the suspicion is that he was crawling down the chimney to burglarize the business at that period of time, became lodged and died,” Adams County Sheriff Tommy Ferrell said.

Ferrell, who said police identified the remains from a wallet found with them, speculated that breezes from a nearby river may have kept neighbors from noticing signs that a body was decomposing in the chimney.

“There is no suspicion of foul play,” Ferrell said.

“Think of it as evolution in action.” – Larry Niven

I’m sitting here alternating between feeling sorry for the poor doofus, rereading the OP, and having giggling fits over it.

See what happens when one ignores pop culture?

Mr. Wilson had obviously never watched Gremlins. One viewing of that would have solved the whole problem and poor Mr. Wilson would be sitting in jail on another charge rather than wasting taxpayers money on the investigation into his demise :stuck_out_tongue: