Intruder dies in California chimney after homeowner lights fire
Oops.
Santa Claus?
Snakebite is unlikely.
I assume they mean its not yet known if the we would-be burglar died of smoke-inhalation if had perished before the fire was lit.
Article said the homeowner heard him start yelling after he lit the fire.
Take your facts back to Canada where they belong, hippie.
If that burglar was Jewish somebody is in deep doo doo.
Bambi: Who said ‘Lawks-a-lordy, my bottom’s on fire’?
[Kendal Mintcake buzzes in]
Kendal Mintcake: Lenin!
Bambi: Yes, well I can accept that, though the exact answer was Joan of Arc.
Snakebite it was, then!
Memo to all Christian households: No fires in fireplaces on Xmas eve!
bwahahahahahahahhaahahahahahaha
So Jesus can be Jewish but Santa Claus can’t be? 
♫ The burglar, the burglar, the burglar’s on fire,
The burglar, the burglar, the burglar’s on fire,
The burglar, the burglar, the burglar’s on fire,
We don’t need no water let the motherfucker burn,
Burn motherfucker burn. ♫♪
As a pyrophobe, all I can say is, what a horrible way to die!
And yet, quite easily avoided.
True enough, but ghastly just the same. If it was my place I would have preferred that he just fall off the roof, break a few bones, and get busted. Unless he was planning to fuck with my family. In which case, a long, low fire would be just the ticket.
The burglar had gotten into other houses by huffing and puffing, but it didn’t work this time.
He forgot to bring his bound. Santa Claus knows to never go down a chimney without his bound!
I’m assuming there are chimneys that are bigger than the ones in houses I’ve owned. The flue liners were generally about a foot square on the outside, so narrower on the inside, plus there’s a damper between the fireplace/firebox and the flue. Then again, I’ll also assume that someone who tries to break into a house in this manner isn’t the brightest bulb on the chandelier.
slow clap
If it wasn’t for the guys death, this would be great for a show I occasionally watch online called What the Fuck is Wrong With You?
I can’t imagine being the homeowner. Due to completely random circumstances, his actions contributed to the death of someone. I can’t imagine hearing that trapped burgler’s yelling and scrambling to put out the fire, let alone waiting for police/FD to show up and break out the trapped (now) body.
No crime on the homeowner’s part, obviously, but perhaps a need to talk with someone.
No kidding. No matter what anyone may or may not deserve, I’d greatly prefer that no one die on my property, especially by my own hand.