“Nearly” and “most” makes it interesting.
Make it random active Doper, and I pick that. And I don’t know enough about most celebrities to dislike them, or even to have much to talk with them about.
Regards,
Shodan
Random Doper. Celebreties I don’t like make me stabby, and that would just make things inconvenient for me. Dopers I don’t like are limited to a vanishingly small number. A forced dinner with them (ok, him) is so unlikely as to make the eventuality fraught with comedic effect. “Oh my gawd! Dude, I hate you sooo much! More wine?”
I’m not nearly as certain, but I’m going with a random doper too. Actually, I can think of a few that, board-wise, are absolute jerks but I’d gladly share a meal with - just to get to know them and maybe what makes them tick. Yes, I am a glutton for punishment.
Doper. I like seeing how much they differ from the mental picture I have of them.
I’ll take neither but if you’re going to put a gun to my head, I’ll go with celeb.
Even if I don’t like them, I could at least gain some insight as to what it’s like to be a celeb.
Where shall we go? Your choice, or PB&J sammiches on some lawn or other.
A “putz like Czarcasm” would take you to one of Portland’s better brewpubs, pay for dinner and a couple of cold microbrews, then probably end the night at Rimsky-Korsakoffee House for coffee and desert.
A random doper by a mile. And since people are often very different in real life vs. through a screen, I’d really like for neither of us to say who we are on the dope until the end of the evening.
Random Doper. I’ve never met one IRL that I couldn’t at least share a meal with. Even those with whom I disagree about most stuff - Bricker, or Shodan, for example - would be interesting to talk to. We seem to have relatively few absolute and utter shitheads whose assholery I suspect carries over into real life.
And who knows? I might luck out into a Colibri, or Kimstu, or samclem, and have the opportunity to learn something cool.
Random Doper. I’ve actually met quite a few, including a couple who I know for a fact I disagree with on a couple of very fundamental (to me) issues. The meals were a lot of fun, the trip to the museum was, too.
That said, Czarcasm, I gotta pass unless it’s got better than brewhaus food. No booze for me. 
That is a very complicated method. We all have numbers. The most recently subscribed user is 199351. So just go to Random.org and have it pick a number between 2 (that’s Lynn) and 199351.
I got this guy.
Risk spending an evening with a raving lunatic like Rosie O’Donnell or Sean Penn? No way!
See, there are celebrities I don’t care for, but this kind of reaction I just don’t get. All you are reacting to is a few curated, often deliberately slanted, presentations of them. In person? No idea what they would be like to spend time with.
But, back to the OP - simple logic would dictate that the choice would be a random doper. There is an odds on chance it would be someone you would get along with, or even like. Why would you choose someone you don’t like? Is it the “celebrity” aspect that you’re thinking would outweigh their negatives? Celebrities aren’t magic creatures, y’know.
I think we need to specify active members, somehow. (I can’t believe I’m rules lawyering this. :smack:)
Every random number I try gets me a banned spammer.
Still better than Sean Penn.
Sometimes posting without putting my reading glasses on makes things interesting.
Way better method. I approve. I got this guy. He’s not a spammer. He made a total of one post on May 1st, 2011. He hasn’t been back since.
He seems to have an interest in Star Wars.
How do you know what number each Doper is?
Most.
Link to your profile
https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/member.php?u=16255
16255 is your user ID number.
(mouse over the username and look in the status bar)