The following is a comparison of the Religious Right and the P.C. Left by an admittedly ill-tempered and cynical misanthrope.
THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT:
Presumes to speak for God, the traditional family, the Christian community, the unborn and the American people, even though nobody asked them to.
THE P.C. LEFT:
Presumes to speak for the environment, endangered species, women, blacks, Hispanics, the poor, gays and the American people even though nobody asked them to.
THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT:
Claims to derive authority from a weird, cranky, literal interpretation of the Bible.
THE P.C. LEFT
Claims to derive moral authority from a weird, cranky, hodge-podge of psuedo-scientific sociopolitcal theories.
THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT:
Wants to use the schools to promote an agenda.
THE P.C. LEFT
Ditto.
THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT:
Accuses the P.C. left of using the public schools to promote an agenda.
THE P.C. LEFT
Accuses the Religious Right of using the public schools to promote an agenda.
THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT:
Seems to think there’s something sinister about the word “agenda.”
THE P.C. LEFT:
Ditto.
THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT:
Is guilty of anti-intellectualism.
THE P.C. LEFT:
Is guilty of phony intellectualism.
THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT:
Considers conventional science a tool of the Devil.
THE P.C. LEFT:
Considers math and standard English racist and sexist.
THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT:
Wants non-Christians to feel guilty and fearful for no good reason.
THE P.C. LEFT:
Wants white people to feel guilty and fearful for no good reason.
THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT:
Claims to be both the majority and a persecuted minority.
THE P.C. LEFT:
Ditto.
THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT:
Wants state-controlled media.
THE P.C. LEFT:
Ditto.
THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT:
Wants to suppress homosexuality.
THE P.C. LEFT:
Wants to suppress heterosexuality.
THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT:
Men shave.
THE P.C. LEFT:
Women don’t shave.
THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT:
Idealizes rich whites, the pioneers and American capitalism.
THE P.C. LEFT:
Idealizes poor blacks, the American Indian and European socialism.
THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT:
Can’t make a decent quiche.
THE P.C. LEFT:
Can’t hit the side of barn when firing a hand gun.
THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT:
Wants to keep the ban on marijuana.
THE P.C. LEFT:
Wants to ban testosterone.
There’s just gotta be another way, folks!
