A conversation with my little biting friend, Willie the Wasp. (Yeah I know bees and wasps do not bite...)

I’m sitting in the toilet at rehab, as one does. Over in the corner I see a struggling bug thingy. Yep, it’s Willie, Willie the Wasp!
Man he is in his death throes.

I started telling him about his brethren out of doors. He should stayed out there, and then may have lived longer. Too bad now he opened himself up to very hot light bulbs, no that big bowl of water isn’t Lake Tahoe for buggy type things, it’s really suicide to go in. I’ve seen it all too many times. Then they get to ride on the watery roller coaster to hell. Not a moral judgement, but a septic tank must be ‘hell’.
Or he may be chased by a Mad CNA with her flyswatter. (The wasps are a real problem here, the official ‘Fix’ was to give the overworked CNAs flyswatters🤔)

I told Willie that two days ago one of his cousin wasps stung (is that a word, @Yllaria )me on top of my head. It gave me a headache. Just sayin’
I told Willie the last time I saw his cousin he was belly up on a stepping stone
his widdle wings crossed over his chest and a tiny Lily stem there. Dead as a door knob.

Sorry for your loss Willie.
Willie, bearer of bad news and all, you’re fixin’ to see him soon. I think.

Oh, Willie, we’ve known each other such a short time. I feel like I’ve known you longer.
Don’t get so testy. Why do you guys have such bad attitudes?
As a species y’all need to work on that.

Oops! A last burst of energy. Willie in bottom of the tub.

It’s all over.

No, I’ll not consider mouth to mouth at all …
Cause them bloody things can bite you after they’re dead.
(Yeah, I know bees and wasps don’t really bite🤭)

Was you ever bit by a dead bee?

“… here’s looking at you kid”

Just dropped by to say bees and wasps do not bite.

Why, thanks.

So informative.:face_with_hand_over_mouth:

You’re alright, lady.

Their bite isn’t as bad as their sting.
Poor Willie.

Yeah, I know. The CNA was happy to commit his body to the City’s septic system.
We both were prayerful at the solemn occasion.

RIP Willie.
(Oh, btw, hold your nose, it really stinks down there)

So…I’m lying in bed trying to hear a movie. I have closed captioning on in case the jerk down the hall decides to do all his rehab homework walking between his door and mine.
He pulls an oxygen trolley and it has a horrible squeak. I have to hear it all morning walking the tracks. Where’s some WD-40 when you need it. (I’m putting Son-of-a-wrek on the case)

Here he came. Oh shit.
My signage ain’t working.
(It says: No squeaking in this area🤨)

Ok. I’m gonna get the big guns out.
I buzzed the nurses station.
Since I’m very cooperative with staff. And so kind they’re gonna jump right up…NOT!!

45 minutes later she comes in. I tell her the problem. And says “No one is in the hall, hon”
Well not anymore, Igmo!!

I tried to tell her go in his room and lube that wheel, please please please!

Oh, no Ms.Wrek, we’re not allowed to touch patients private stuff. Oh, really! Who stole my new blush and toothpaste? I’m not casting aspirsions on the nursing community, coulda been a passer-by or a housekeeper. Or some naughty teenager visiting great Aunt Edna.
Still it’s gone. So someone touched my private stuff in this place. Someone also drank one of my orange juicey drinks. Just sayin’

After this, I’m contemplating the situation. She asks if I’m ok. HON.
Ok, that’s enough of her condescending tone.
I say, you may leave, HON.

She says, point blank, “Don’t call Cheryl”
Cheryl is the director, big Muckymuck!!
We are friends.

I said, “it’s to late to make that request, HON!”

Ok, I’m getting the ‘Bigger’ guns out.

I texted Cheryl. She said the nurses were on her other line.

I text, Fix it.

If it’s fixed tomorrow, I’ll let you know.

Oh, crap. I meant that post go in my other topic.
I blame idiocy and the lateness of the hour.

That’s what I get for being a sorehead and causing trouble.

The problem is fixed.
But …now I have another.

Oh, god. Stop me. I’m turning into, ‘Karen-dawrek’!!

Hardly! Unlike a “Karen,” you are sweet and nice.

Lordy, I hate getting HONed. Good on you. Hon.

Well, now here’s a update. Willie has a brother, Wally.
Wally has more life in him.
I’m afraid he blames Willies death on me.
He keeps dive bombing me. He’s heard from the hive saying this ol’bat gets headaches, sting her there.

The CNA came in and chased him around a bit and gave up.
I wanna sleep. But I’m afraid he’ll land on my head

You need to hire some security for the spicy sky raisins that are getting in your room. Maybe bring a cat in?

Beck, one of the things I love about you is that everything that happens in your life sounds charmingly like a child’s book of bedtime stories! :slight_smile:

Stung (and all of the other words before your request) are real, correct words, used correctly. Sorry that you got stung on your head.

I don’t have a lot of experience with wasps. The few that I’ve seen sting heads were wasps that landed and then their little legs sank down into the hair, making them feel like they were being grabbed or entangled. I don’t know if they panicked or got mad, but they sure got active.

Have you considered wearing a panty hose cap? That would keep their little legs from sinking in.

It would interfere with aluminum foil hat. I’m on the 6th floor. Aliens be up in here.
And they can read your minds and stuff.

Oh, aluminum foil should work for the wasps, too. Just make sure there isn’t a gap. You don’t want any of the little buggers getting under the hat.

Hey! OMG!!
I may have just thunk(ok? @Yllaria), of the answer. The answer to the question of the ages, even.

I give you the ‘Wasp’ that lowly asshole of the of the bug world.
They fly around. Sneakily and given an opportunity will probe you, so to speak. Which hurts. Bad!

Now we have that mutant the ‘Murder Wasp’. Yep.

We are already invaded. The aliens are here, folks. Probing all they want.
Where’s Son-of-a-Wrek when I need him?

Dang I’m a genius. Where’s the powerful peeps in the ‘Think Tank’?

I can fill them in on my theory. To their edification.
Provided it’s not early in the day. I’m kinda dumb then​:alien::alien::alien: