a Fart/Poop by any other name?

Inspired by the recent rash of fart threads, I found myself thinking of alternate names for Farts and Poops in a fit of insomnia last night (hey, like ignorance, ya gotta fight insomnia how ever you can).

If you needed any further convincing that the cheese has fallen completely off my cracker, I was putting all the names I could think of to the tune of Beethoven’s 9th/Ode to Joy. What is bugging me today is I can only remember maybe less than a tenth of the euphemisms I came up with. Where else could I turn?
Please try to break up your entries in the form of gasses and solids.

[ul]laying cable
Talking to a man about a horse
In deference to Opal, let’s bypass the “Hi Opal” for these lists
Pinching a loaf
Depth Charges
hershey squirts

[ul]Air bisquit
shoot a rabbit
methane mine
room clearer
seam ripper
ass blaster[/ul]

I thank you for your help, and wish the most twisted version of Beethoven’s 9th be stuck in your head all day.

How’s about:


Babtising a babyruth
giving birth to a marine
Wrestling the bowl buster
Taking on the bowl Python
Forc’n Henry to drink
Mak’n mess

Well, under solids, the Greaseman used to refer to a, um prolific output as a “massive”.

And may the chorus to Helen Reddy’s “Ruby Red Dress” which popped up in my head unbidden today, reverberate for the rest of the day in yours.
Glad to be of help.

I’ve been known to spend more time than usual “dropping the kids off at the pool”, which is much better than having ED* stop by for a visit.

[sub]*Explosive Diarrhea[/sub]

Downloading my daily log.

I can’t believe I’m posting in this thread.

I can’t believe lieu hasn’t posted yet. :wink:

Bottom burps.

Good gad, is my house the only one infested by the infamous Texas Barking Spiders? My Dad seems to have been the vector…

Shouldn’t lieu be checking in right about now?

Toots, and I believe they’ve been referred to as Fluffies on Space Ghost.

I will now deny ever having posted in this thread.

Yeah, that’s what I said when I first started posting to the bodily function threads, BadBaby.

You can run, but you can’t hide.

We have one small bathroom in our house. My small-bladdered wife yells at me if I stink up the can before she has a chance to urinate.

Hence, we have two euphemisms in our household for needing to defecate.

One: “Honey, do you need to pee?”

– or –

Two: “I’m getting a red alert.”


that should be

Barking Wall Spiders

my daughter didn’t figure out I was the spider spawn until she was 7


** T **

make a deposit
code brown

silent but deadly

Scout1222-- really, I’m never posting in one of these sorts of threads again. Wait a minute! :smack: Dern you for dragging me over to the dark side of the SDMB. Do you get a pin or sumpin’, now? Was it worth it? I feel dirty and so should you!

Also-- rump raspberry.

Playing the trumpet

A contribution for the solids camp that I got from my darling hubby: “breaking off a piece.”

That was something he said once when we were dating, and my 13 yr old brother thought it was SO hilarious. My mom was not nearly so amused (it grossed her out!) and finally forbade him to use the phrase!

Kinda eerie when they subsequently came out with the “break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar” commercials. Somehow, I was not inspired to go eat a Kit Kat!

“the escapee” this is a fart that sneeks out without the owner of said fart having advance warning. Never acknowledge the escapee. Pretend it didn’t happen.

“the jail break” this is a a series of unintentional and very loud machine gun type farts that occur when the perpertrator was trying to sneak one under duress. There is no denial of the jail break, can not be ignored and is usually the subject of embarassment and laughter.

gaseous output = “butt bubbles”

(they are particuarly prolific in the bathtub)