Well, I’ve got some uttlerly mundane and unenjoyable errands to run this morning. By the time I get home, I’ll need some heavy duty giggles to balance out the day. And what is the best giggle starter? That’s right, bodily functions! What better way to survive a Monday than to think of your favorite phrases for evacuating your bowels. So lay it on me, guys! (Uh… not literally) I’m sure this has been discussed many times in the past, but hey we’ve got some newbies (myself included) that may like to contribute.
I’ll start:
Poo-
Cornback Rattler
For cats: Cigars
For dogs: Dog Logs
Doing the deed-
Launch a rocket (personal fave)
Grow a tail
When I have to go to the bathroom, I say “excuse me.” If someone is so unwise as to ask where I’m going, my response is, “Where even the emperor must go on foot.”
Revtim, I wish my dad was still here. He was a mail clerk & would have loved that one! He was a Master Pooper, too. But he was more into “Spackling the porceline.”
And matt, that may be the most elegant one I’ve ever heard. Dig it! Inigo- Dad used to say, “You know what a fart is, don’t you? It’s the lonely cry of an imprisoned turd.” <tee hee>
All the responses are great! I’m thinking I should get my calligraphy set out and write them all down. You know, so I can frame it for the loo!
Ahhhh… This is just what I needed. I knew I could count on the Dopers to make me laugh. I love you guys.
Between my wife and me, we announce to the other that defecation is imminent with the phrase, “Do you need to pee?” (Because the room will shortly become uninhabitable.)
If we’re with company, the code phrase is “yellow alert,” or “red alert” if there’s less warning.
