Mention to a girl that she might consider shaving? I’m not talking about legs or pits or other sensitive areas, I’m talking about her face. Everyday I work at my shit job, I see at least one woman with a mustache or beard, and it’s really kind of disturbing. Some of them are fairly light haired and complextion, so it’s not all that noticeable until you get up close, but some of them have seriously dark hair and it’s really noticeable. I know women tend to be excessively critical of themselves when it comes to their appearance, so mentioning something like that is pretty rude, but some of them, I have to wonder “How do you not see that?”
I know it’s incredibly rude no matter what, but is there a more polite way to mention it to close friends that may suffer from this without coming off as a complete total fucking asshole?
I’ve known some incredibly beautiful women with dark facial hair. MYOB.
In a word, no. There’s really no way to mention that to a woman without offending. Any and all of the women that I know would be pretty pissed if a guy suggested they should shave or wax their fax.
Fax being the enormously trendy word for “face” these days, of course. All the cool kids are using it.
I don’t think there is a polite way to do it. I would guess that the women are already aware of it, or some rude jackass has already mentioned it.
I would say that women who have facial hair are quite aware of it, and for some reason they choose not to get rid of it. I have a girl friend who has exema (sp?) and she has a bit of facial hair, but if she plucks or shaves or anything else her face breaks out in a huge red rash and it looks 10 times worse than just leaving the hair there. Some women accepet themselves the way they are, so you may just have to deal with them having facial hair. shrug
I also have facial hair myself and I know it grows extremely quickly and it is quite a chore to keep it under control, so you may just be catching them inbetween whatever it is they do to control the hair too.
And no, I don’t think there is any polite way to suggest hair removal. You may just want to say it to them striaght out without meanness, but that would be very difficult to do, and any woman would surely be offended no matter how you say it, unless you’re a close family member or something, FWIW.
Yah, I think I would just keep that tid-bit to yerself.
No woman want’s to hear that she has a moustash, even if it’s true.
I’d keep it to myself, if only because I believe (as a result of other polls here at the SDMB) she’d have a few grooming tips she’d like to share with me…
Elvis, although I dig where you’re coming from (especially the ‘How do you not see that?’ part), let it go, man.
If she is your SO, buy her a day at a really nice all inclusive spa, tip one of the people up there to suggest waxing her lip, you insensitive bastard ;).
IANAW
Ok, I HAVE to say this. It’s been making me laugh for the 25 min.
(I’m a bad baaaaaaaaaaad boy)
Every time you talk to her start rubbing your jaw feeling for stubble, then get a safety razor out and start dry shaving infront of her.
“Sorry, I just remembered I forgot to shave.”
Please only attempt this if you can extract a safety razor from any bodily orifice.
The mistake here is making the assumption that she must not know. Of course she knows, and she’s comfortable with it. I eman, we’re not talking about having toliet paper stuck to the sole of her shoe here.
Another vote for: don’t say anything. If the woman is aware of how she looks she’s likely to be too sensitive about it for you to be able to bring it up in any way that wouldn’t hurt, and if she’s not aware (which I seriously doubt) then why make her aware when the risk in denting her self-image is so great?
Perhaps she’s aware of it and doesn’t mind. Perhaps she’s happy with herself. If she is, then saying anything about it would be redundant. If she’s not happy, then saying anything would be beyond the boundaries of what’s suitable for co-workers to comment on.
Please take this in non-combative the way it’s intended: If it makes you uncomfortable, then that’s really your problem and not hers.
Another vote for MYOB.
Grow a full beard, with moustache.
Then, in your best beer-swiggin’, broad-spottin’, ass-kickin’ guy voice, say, “Boy, this thing itches. Well, look who I’m tellin’!”
Oh, do you like hospital food? I probably should have asked that first.
El Elvis - there ain’t no way to bring this up without great risk of bodily harm (to you).
I have trouble imagining a woman with facial hair who isn’t aware of it.
Couple things here - for one, lots of adult women have noticable facial hair, and it gets worse with age (gets even more worse past menopause). Particularly Causasian women. Particularly Caucasian women from certain Eastern Europe and Medditerranean groups.
Second - women are actively discouraged from shaving the stuff off - “Oh no! It’ll just grow back thicker!” Well, maybe, but baby, I’ve seen some women who need to shave or just admit they’ve got a goatee and moustache cooking between chin and nose. At a certain point there ain’t no other solution.
Before she gets to that point, she’ll probably try
- Doing nothing, hoping it will go away
- Using bleach (in which case you get a WHITE beard and 'stache)
- Hi, Opal! (this does not imply OpalCat has this problem)
- using wax (ouch!) or tweezers (ouch!)
- using a scissors
- shave, but without proper skin care resulting in Pizza Lips from Hell effect.
After which, it’s either proper shaving technique, or electrolysis (ouch!).
Basically, Elvis, she’s already suffering and there’s no reason to add to it. Unless she knows about it and is perfectly comfortable being a bearded lady, in which case your input will be ignored anyway.
So, just MYOB. Just walk away, dude… just walk away…
I have a CLOSE FRIEND who has two large moles on her face. One is right below her eye, and I cannot imagine how it cannot be a major irritant – I had one about the same size removed from the back of my neck, and THAT was annoying. They don’t really detract from her appearance, but they are definitely noticeable.
However, I would never dream of asking her about them, or why she hasn’t had them removed. She knows they’re there, and it’s HER BUSINESS.
If I wouldn’t bring this up with a close friend, I certainly wouldn’t with someone who’s just a co-worker. Add me to the MYOB crowd.
It bothers me too, I must say, but for your own good, I think you should keep it to yourself. FTR, Jane has a bit, because she’s fair with mid-brown hair, so it shows up a little.
I have no intention of ever bringing it up to any woman because I understand that 1) You just look like a fucker, and 2) she’s probably already come to grips with it, and 3) You always just look like a fucker. The worst case is that there are some women that come in with really REALLY noticeable facial hair that forms a beard, and I just wonder why they’ve kept it.
It’s not something I’d ever attempt to do unless it was my SO, we’d been together for a really long time, and it was a fairly recent developement. So don’t go getting too pissy with me, I have no intention of embarrassing anyone. I’m just really curious as to how is it that some women grow beards and decide not to shave them. Sometimes people just do things that confuse me, and this happens to be one of them.
She may be unable to control the facial hair. There are certain medical conditions that cause unwanted facial hair in women, ie: Polycystic Ovary Syndrome.
I agree with the rest. Say nothing, unless you are prepared for extreme pain.
'catz