OK, so here’s the deal. With DeadAIM, you can have two or more screen names running at once on the same computer. Unbeknownst to my friend, I have two screen names. One I use to talk to anybody, especially college buddies. The other I use to talk to my closest friends.
I have both screen names running at once. While talking to my friend on one screen name, she “signed off”, but stayed on the other screen name. So I know that she has me blocked.
Part of me says respect her privacy, she doesn’t feel like talking to me, whatever, just leave it be. The other says to politely confront her about it and tell her that friends that are on good terms (like I think we are) should be honest about not wanting to talk and should not do that to each other.
It would depend on the relationship I had with that friend. I’d ask pretty much all my friends about it because I don’t think they’d get offended. If you ask in a curious and non accusing tone, it should be fine.
Well, maybe she also operates from two faces–one for those extra special, guestlist-only friends, and one for her other friends, like you. :eek:
I knew someone who would block/un-block people depending on who he wanted to talk to at any given moment…and he did this almost every time he signed on. It was more preferable than creating a whole other screen name.
Then again, there’s that option where you click on the 'lil eye in the top lefthand corner that makes others think you’ve signed off. But in reality, you’re lurking in the shadows, waiting until someone worthwhile signs on. When that worthwhile someone does, you can chat with them while still appearing offline to everyone else…now isn’t that a convenient little doo-dad?
So, just because you prefer another screen name to a number of other methods used for IM deception, doesn’t mean you should take shit personally. Besides, if she really was your good friend, wouldn’t she have both your screen names? And since you took her pseudo-sign off as a kick in the balls, does that mean you’re really in to her and spy on her online, while frequently checking her “Buddy Info” and “Away” messages for updates on her activities?
If you confront her, you’ll look like a jackass and a melodramatic, read-too-much-between-the-lines, Internet stalker. Do you really want that to be your legacy?
What’s DeadAIM? You know the official version of AIM let’s you run multiple screen names simultaneously now, don’t you?
As for her problem…I solved that a long time ago by blocking everyone that isn’t on my buddy list. If I don’t want to talk to you, you come off the list. If you have some other name I don’t know about, you still can’t see me online.
If you have no other way to contact her than though AIM then it’s just gonna seem really weird[sup]TM[/sup] if you contact her with another screenname.
IMHO internet friendships don’t have the same etiquette as “regular” friendships. We can just block people online, even our friends. You shouldn’t read too much into it for now. But if it becomes a permanent or recurring theme…
That makes you sound like kind of a stalker weirdo. It’s her business who she does and doesn’t feel like talking to at any given time. That’s like calling someones house and being mad that they didn’t pick up the phone even if you know they’re home. She’s not on call for you.
The other reason she could have done this (On Yahoo IM it’s called being invisible) which I do sometimes is that she was chatting with someone about something important and just didn’t want to be interrupted by anyone else (not just you).
So what would I do? Ignore it and move on with life.
I don’t know what DeadAIM is but if it’s a game, perhaps she wanted to concentrate on the game instead of devoting her energy to making clever conversation. I have caller i.d. and at times I’ll let the answering machine pick up when I don’t feel like talking to someone. That doesn’t mean that I don’t value her as a friend, it just means that I don’t have the time or inclination to direct my attention to her at that particular moment.
And, face it, you’re doing the exact same thing she’s doing by creating two screen names. You’re picking and choosing who you want to talk to and screening yourself from others.
So what do you do? Well, like Zette said, unless you want to appear to be some psycho stalker, you respect her privacy and say nothing.
Say nothing. It’s her business to speak to/not speak to whom she pleases. Sounds like you’re taking this way too personally. Until she gives you a reason to think she’s not speaking to you, just chalk it up to her not wanting to be bothered.
I wouldn’t say anything either. For whatever reason, she didn’t want to talk to you at that time. Perhaps she was busy doing something else and didn’t have the time to give you the attention a conversation would require, perhaps she was annoyed with you, perhaps she had an important conversation going on with someone else. Just because someone is logged on, doesn’t mean they have to be available to talk with any and every person who may want to speak with them.
Say nothing and quit worrying about who is not talking to you.
You have two sets of people, so you have effectively blocked some people for part of the time.
What? She doesn’t get that privilege? That is reserved only for you? When ever she is online she had better be available to you?
If you do anything, tell her how you’ve set up the different screen names so that you can keep groups of people separate on AIM. Maybe she’ll get the hint. Maybe she’ll start up another screen name and not tell you about it. Maybe she’ll be confused and then you tell her how she ‘signed off’ Engineer Dude A but she was still on Engineer Dude B, which means that she had to block you. She could save the trouble if she had another name. (that you didn’t know)
She may have just nen busy and didn’t want to be distracted. I have done that before or when I plan on being afk but don’t want to sign off completely and don’t want people IMing me while I’m away. Maybe she thinks it’s easier to switch her BL list to ignore instead of ignoring everyone?
I’ve seen other people do this, I try not to take it personally, because sometimes I don’t feel like talking to people either.
Does AIM allow you to add her to your buddy list without her knowing?
I haven’t used AIM in years, but Yaho IM, MSN require the person you wish to add to aprove the add. If so then she would already know about your super secret IM name.
Back when I used to use ICQ, I had someone - who wasn’t even that close of a friend - go off on me over something like this. He was chatting with me incessantly one day, and I had to get some work done, but I was waiting for one friend to message me about something important. So I told him I was signing off, and we said goodbye. Then I put everyone on block except for the one person I was waiting for, and put up a personal message for him. I think I only had people blocked out for a half hour or something.
Later on I get a nasty message from the guy who’d been chatting with me, asking why the hell I blocked him. I didn’t see wtf the big deal was, but I apologized and tried to explain the situation and that I certainly didn’t single him out, but he was not satisfied with that, and laid into me over it. At that point, I regretted apologizing, and nearly chewed him out as well, but just dropped it and unfriended him.
Stuff like that is why I stopped using IM-type programs. Some people see you’re online and regardless of your status will bombard you with messages and get all pissy if you don’t respond immediately, or take offense at stupid things. The OP sounds like he wants a level of privacy that he’s not willing to grant to other people.
I’ve blocked my boyfriend on AIM and Yahoo. It’s not because I dislike him or anything, we just don’t communicate well via IM. I’ve got a couple friends that I’ll block every now and then because they can frankly be timewhores.
Their “netiquette” about timely response gets to be too demanding and unless I really can set aside the time to talk with them, I keep 'em blocked. They’re still friends and we hang out in real life, but when I’m online, I usually have more than one thing going on at the same time.
My blocking them is, imo, a non-confrontational way of not talking with them and then talking with them when I can afford the time. It’s easier than explaining that I have time to be online and available for others but not them. I’m sure that that’s horrible tact but it is meant to save accidental hurt feelings.
As to the OP, don’t take it too personally. (Easier said than done, I know). There could be many other reasons that she blocked you as have been pointed out by the other posters here.