Instant Messaging Rants

The BBQ Pit
1

First of all, I always want to say ‘instant messenging’, which just sounds stupid and I have to correct myself.

I’ve recently gone back to the perilous world of online dating, after a long break. So have been doing a lot of IMing with, of all people, men. I’m not saying women have a birthright of genius when it comes to technologically advanced communication, but my experiences have led me to conclude that a great deal of the men that I chat with are not very good at communicating via IM. I only IM with a very small number of women who are already close with me, so my sample on that side is limited.

Men and women and others: Do not IM me and then sit there silent and expect me to fucking entertain you!! Do you not have any questions for me, men that have connected with me via online dating? At the very least, do you not see that I am asking you questions and making remarks and being very conversational, in the hopes that you will take a hint and talk also? Were you born in a barn, did your mother not teach you that a polite man will make conversation and not sit there like a bump? Now, there are a few of you that just don’t read quickly and/or type quickly. I can recognize you quickly and then I know to initiate an invitation to a real-life meeting ASAP with little IM contact. I’ve already determined that I probably won’t like you, because you don’t seem very smart, but I might go ahead and meet you anyway, maybe you just come across badly when you IM. But the rest of you, the ones that are intelligent and otherwise wonderful people- either learn the etiquette of IM and practice it, or just don’t IM! If you can’t read fast and type fast, call! At least I can get other things done while I’m on the phone.

Speaking of getting things done- I’m a single mom who works all day, doesn’t get home until after 6 most days, and I have shit to do! Just because you’re a single guy and have all the time in the world to sit there and let me entertain you for hours, doesn’t mean I do! Do NOT get pissy and whine that I’m blowing you off because my kid wants food and there’s a million things to do and I can’t return your post-work message! Either wait until after 8:30pm like I ask you to do in the beginning, or fuck off!
Another thing, when I say I have to go, please do not spend the next 20 minutes saying

goodnight

sleep tight

don’t let the bedbugs bite

have a good day at work tomorrow

i will talk to you tomorrow ok
one more thing

have a good sleep

i will look at the stars tonight and dream of the day when i can hold you in my arms

what did you say your name was again?

ok

good night

see ya

i’ll miss you

ok

bye.

Maybe it’s become passe, what with the texting and whatever else it is that the kids do nowadays, but I find IM an excellent medium for expressing short bits of information, a few jokes, deep feelings, what have you, instantly. Without having to talk on the phone or take 20 minutes to text out a message and wait 20 minutes for another one since people my age aren’t very quick at it. Of course, the world of IM is not without it’s pitfalls. I do have to remain invisible on Yahoo, the only one I really use, because perverts, basement-dwellers, and weirdos like to spend their time IMing random women that live across the country out of the blue to say something perverted and/or weird. Plus you never know who, out of your IMing past, has not deleted you as a contact and can see you every time you log on and that makes me feel icky for some reason. Like they can see you but you can’t see them.

People, people, IMing has the potential to be a wonderful thing. You are fucking it up for me. Please stop.

2

Wow.

Remind me not to IM you.

3

You’re getting worked up about a GOOD thing. IMing with a potential date is great - it really helps you separate the losers from the worthwhile guys.

You see right there how they act (re: your kids) and how they converse. You get to sample their grammar.

I’ve always had really great luck when talking to online matches over IM. The ones who could carry on normal conversations and respected my schedule, I went out with and had a great time with. The other ones I never met in person, or blocked :slight_smile:

4

It is my personal belief that these silent pauses are caused by the time the person is taking to type to the other women he’s IMing at the same time he’s IMing you.

Two-timing IMers!

5

Block 'em. When you block someone, they can no longer see when you’re online. And they don’t get a message saying “AliceTheGoon has BLOCKED your SORRY ASS,” they simply don’t see you online, so you can always unblock them later if you feel the need, with no (or fewer) hard feelings.

6

Ok, ok, sorry. I’ll stop. I pomise. :wink:

7

Seconded. Sheesh.

8

Tell ya what, Alice. Put a copy of RULES FOR IMing ME in your profile and I bet you get bothered a lot less.

9

Ah, instant messaging. How I miss you…not really.

wat r u doing 2 nite

hello

r u there

wat r u wearing

lol i bet its hot

tap tap tap tap tap
lol is this thing on

afk playing wow

10

I detest IM. I find it a barrier to good communication. Surely I’m not alone in this.

11

See, what this world needs is more instant massaging.

12

I don’t quite grok this concept:

Why don’t you just say you’ve got to go, then log off?

:confused:

13

want 2 siber?

:smiley:

14

I’ve been on the Internet since 1987, and I don’t do the chat thing, whether it’s talk in a Unix shell or an instane messenging program. Every dso often, I’ll install AOL IM for shits and giggles. Within an hour, I get contacted by some “teenage girl” that wants to chat with me. Can you say “Perverted Justice trolling for pervs?”

Fuck that. I don’t need the hassle.

15

I received an IM once, and she seemed interesting and funny. Then, in the midst of the conversation, she typed:

“I smell pickles.”

and signed off.

Odd.

I guess it was OK, though. I kind of like a dose of surreality every now and then.

16

I know it’s mundane and not really a big deal, but I’ve been IMing a lot lately, and these things start to get to you. Which is what The Pit is for, really, to vent and rant and blow off steam. I felt much better after typing out the OP, and have resolved to be a bit more of a hardass about my IM rules, so that I don’t get so frustrated sometimes.

I really do think IM could be a wonderful way of communicating- I can’t text fast, email is slow, and I don’t really enjoy talking on the phone. I just wish everyone would get with the program. The just sitting there silent and expecting me to carry the conversation really aggravates me. Don’t IM me if you have nothing to say! But yes, it definitely is a great way of culling the losers and inconsiderates. Maybe that’s what my rant is about- there are too many losers and inconsiderates out there in the dating world!

17

I can’t really imagine IMing with random strangers. I have always set my programs to block random IMs and to make me visible only to people on my contact list.

That said, I do occasionally find that people I’ve known for years have annoying IM habits. I had one friend who separated related fragments of thought into individual IMs. So I’d get a series of messages like this:

Oh, I ran into Bob today.

<next message, 5 seconds later>

He said to tell you hi.

<next message, 7 seconds later>

He wasn’t sure if you’d remember him lol.

<next message, 4 seconds later>

But he said to say hi to you anyway

<next message, 4 seconds later>

Do you remember Bob?

<next message, 3 seconds later>

He’s a nice guy.
Every conversation with her was like that. I know it’s easy to hit Enter after every sentence you type, but there really was no reason to. Most of her IM trains could have been reduced to 2-3 messages, tops. Eventually I learned to wait a few minutes and read her IMs in batches, and then respond.

I usually set my IM programs to make noise every time I get a new message, but because of her I had to disable that.

18

Well I’m not a woman, but I have played one on the internet. Is that good for you?

19

wow…I, uh, thought everyone IM’d that way. I very rarely IM, but everyone I do IM with generally splits up messages into one or two line chunks, as do I. I haven’t really thought about why, but I would guess that it is so the other party doesn’t get bored waiting a minute or two for paragraph long messages

20

For me its more annoying all split up because, believe it or not, I’m probably not on the internet just to talk to you, and interrupting me every 2 seconds gets old fast. I’d rather wait until you complete a thought and give it to me that way, but its not for me to set the Almighty Rules of the Internet.