People say that slowly freezing to death is the best way to off yourself. Nope. The best way is to grab some like-minded friends and ride the Euthanasia Coaster. Includes a 500 meter drop, 7 loops and 10G’s of life-ending fun. 
“The ultimate rollercoaster is built when you send out 24 people and they all come back dead. This could be done, you know.”
It would be much easier and cheaper to just put a sharp blade across the tracks a couple of inches above the car level. Though maybe the cleanup costs would be prohibitive.
Designed by an architect, no doubt.
Was the scale model road-tested with live hamsters?
Some comedian, I don’t remember who, said a good way to commit suicide is to dress up in scuba gear, jump off a building and have a small glass of water sitting near where you land. Let people figure that one out.
Hahaha suicide is hilarious! It was so funny, my dad’s face when he heard the son he so dearly loved had killed himself! Oh, how we laughed, as we watched them clean his brains off the linoleum. But the funniest part was when my mother lost control as they played taps at his funeral. I thought we’d already gotten all the fun out of the situation, but nope! Suicide really is the joke that keeps on giving.
miss elizabeth? my deepest condolences…
I’m sorry you guys. That was a total threadshit. I was in a bad place and I read the dope to calm down and I got all freaked out worse instead. It was uncalled for and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have even clicked on it. I need to re-think how I post. I really am sorry, I feel like an ass.
The roller coaster is neat. I’m sorry, again. I’ve got to quit using this place as free therapy. (I’m getting real therapy too, so before you suggest it…) I’ve been having a hard time but this isn’t how I should deal with it.
and thank you, the O.
NO! It was done with Pygmies of course.
This ride would be perfect for family reunions. Work outings. School trips.
Gift certificates for rides would sell like hotcakes.
Perhaps with a properly curved section of track, and good restraint placement, you could exsanguinate the severed bodies with g-forces, leaving only fairly dried out husks in the cars to be dumped out.
Putting the queue lines underneath the blood circle would help keep waiting customers cool on hot days, but would probably negate the cleaning advantages unless they dried off in time. Plus, it’d attract vampires.
miss elizabeth, I’m very sorry for your loss. You’re absolutely right - suicide is horrible, especially on those the suicide leaves behind. It took my wife a year to recover from the suicide of one of her clients.
I would draw a distinction between suicide and euthanasia, though - euthanasia (which after all comes from the Greek words for “good death”) implies a planned death, presumably after everyone has said goodbye.
All that said, if I ever needed to voluntarily check out early, this coaster would be a helluva way to go.
I have it! You belt them into their seats when they enter, and then rotate the cart 180 degrees (flip it upside down) before you run it by the blade, and you put a head/blood trough beneath the whole thing. Optionally, you could add some kind of hydraulic press things in each seat back, to push back against the bodies and squeeze the blood out faster.
As would pics snapped at the moment of death…
Wow. Not to derail (pun intended) the thread, but that has got to be the most grown up, sane thing I have ever seen posted here.
Who says that? Because that sounds pretty fucking horrible to me.
I always thought it was supposed to be drowning, but the theory is that as your brain undergoes oxygen starvation, you start hallucinating this pleasant euphoria, and therefore die with a smile on your face.
Not that I think it would be pleasant, or that I think the people saying this know what they’re talking about, but that’s the theory.
I wonder if the creator of this coaster was a fan of roller coaster tycoon.
Death by snu snu?
:eek: :eek: :eek:
I’m in.
Dunno if this is appropriate, but… I sometimes joke with my sister that I’ll overdose on chocolate and die from it, and it’ll be a very happy suicide.
Though, I’ll note, I have had suicidal feelings in the past. Maybe that’s why I occasionally joke about it?