So I’m in this play, right, and the director hasn’t given us any material at all. No script, no information on the other characters or the storyline, nothing. We have to wing it completely. The other actors seem to know what’s going on, but I don’t. I’m waiting in the wings, and a stagehand hisses at me, “You’re on!!”
So I go on stage, wondering what I’m going to do. I sit down at a sofa, pantomime picking up the phone. “Hello? Stage Actor’s Guild? This is Matt McLauchlin… I’m stuck in this play and the director hasn’t given me any script, any information on the characters or the storyline, nothing. We haven’t rehearsed or discussed it and now it’s the big performance - I’m calling you from the stage. Right, from right on stage. Could you please get me another booking? I can’t work like this. …You will? By email? Thanks. That’s matt_mcl@sympatico.ca. That’s very good of you… OK, thanks, goodbye.”
Then I exit to thunderous applause. (Then I wake up.)
** << I’m calling you from the stage. Right, from right on stage. >> **
I lolled at this. I can just picture it… “Right, from right on stage…” heheheheh
I had a weird dream 2 nights ago too. My client calls me in the middle of the night and calls me a turkey. Yesterday I find out she did call, to tell me she got us a turkey. I, apparently, had a full conversation with her. (Hope I didn’t say anything inappropriate)
Dewt – are you being paid in fowl? Can you give change in guinea hens? (Sorry, lame joke.)
Matt – have you analyzed the dream? Sounds like a metaphor for life in general. What are we doing? Why are we here? Maybe you’re just thinking too much lately.
My dreams have all had snow and danger and falling into freezing water from a great height – it’s just the stress of winter driving, probably.
Hmm. This would work as fodder for my Extended Metaphor piece my Creative Writing teacher gave us to write over break. (Doesn’t it seem weird to take a class in Creative Writing? “This is how you be creative. Do this, this, this, and this. No no no! You’re being creative WRONG!”)
The last two dreams I can remember, one of them I was in an old-fashioned diner with two of my friends, both named Jeff, and we got into a fistfight over a bag of jelly beans that was labeled “To Jeff”. Then the other one, I was at a school dinner which was being held in the back room of a fancy clothing store, all hush-hush, and it was doubling as the NASCAR awards ceremony. Matt Kenseth got shot in the foot and we all ran out screaming because someone had a gun. Out in the street, I saw a bunch of people racing Outlaw sprint cars down the highway, and one flipped over on the corner and got flung out of the car. For some reason he didn’t have a helmet on. He had extremely blue eyes and I was convinced he was Greg Moore. Everyone thought he was dead but he got up and gimped away. Then my alarm went off.
I had an odd dream just last night. I was at home with my bro, and mom, and his fiancee, and I was writing something on thos perfectly frosted cake that was for her. It said something about letting a seal tromp all over the train of her wedding dress. I do know at the bottom of the cake there was the word “love” written at the bottom. My older bro was also getting pissy at me for “messing” up the cake. I told him to take some “calm downium”, and that he could use an offset spatula to easily smooth the cake back over.
But, that’s all i remember. What I was writing made more sense in the dream than when I woke up though.
I has a recurring dream back when I worked in retail (and still have it every now and again.) I’m the manager of a store at closing time, and I can’t get everybody out of the store to close! As soon as one person leaves another one sneaks in, and I go to tell him that we’re closing and a few more sneak in. I always wake up without there ever being any resolution to it all. It’s very frustrating.
