For those of us who use public transportation, we see all kinds of weird things. Feel free to interject your funny/weird transportation story later.
Today, I got on the Metro to go to lunch and took my seat near a surreal protestor who had a very poorly handmade sign that said, “Bomb Martha’s Vinyard!” in big letters on the tiny sign. The sign itself was the size of a sheet of paper with a rectangular cardboard handle. I thought it was funny but my entertainment didn’t end there. You see, today was my personal entertainment day on the Metro rides. My next set of humour was thrust upon me as a group of middle-aged tourists and the young kid who was around 10 who was with them got on with the “leader” of a man with them telling them that they have to hurry up to get off the Metro when the doors open at the Smithsonian stop. He says they only have a few MINUTES to get off when the doors open. I am thinking yeah right…that is way too long but don’t say anything because I am eavesdropping. Anyway, as the train pulls into the station they all get up out of their seats and work their way to the door stumbling around because all four of them were too dumb to grab hold of anything while the train was stopping. What did they thing? Somehow the trains in DC have some miraculous inertial dampening field available to them from UFO technology or something? I laughed at that watching them stumbling all around. That isn’t even the funniest part. After the train stops they are lined up in what appears to be youngest to oldest at the door facing the tracks instead of the ones facing the platform. By this time I am quietly laughing to myself. For those who don’t know, you can clearly see out of the window and see what lies beyond while you are in the station. I know they were expecting special treatment like walking along the electric track to see if roller skates will roll on it like the trains do or something. Then we hear the “Doors opening” voice come in from the monitors. All the people on that train pour out the door behind these four people who are lined up at the door going past the goofy protestor and the four people stand unaware. Now I start laughing out loud since the man is telling them that once the doors open they have to hurry out or they won’t all make it. Eventually, I see I am not the only person laughing and the goofy protestor tells them that the door is open on the other side. You would think that they would know this as at least 15 people just went out it and several more came in. So they all turn around and rush out it in reverse order with the kid last. I was thinking that it was the stop they wanted but couldn’t believe that anyone would be so dense as to not notice a stream of people going in and out behind them. Anyway, just as the kid goes out the doors shut immediately behind them. It was so funny. He almost got shut in for exactly what the older man (he was the oldest and probably in his mid to late 40’s) was warning them against. It was so funny.
Then coming back to work I had the freak woman sitting near me telling her boyfriend that the last time she went to the doctor last week he told her she looked like someone slashed her across the face (I look and it doesn’t). I tried not to stare at her ears too much though since she looked like she had around 10 earrings per ear at one time but they had all long since been torn out. She was the ragged ear woman. It was also surreal but not nearly as funny as the earlier one. So after I got off the metro I went out and bought 10 lottery tickets thinking my day couldn’t get any more surreal unless I won the lottery.
HUGS!
Sqrl