No anesthesia, so ancient Roman doctors distracted the patient with a topless assistant.
(Assistant in blue is thinking:) Oh no, not more HMO paperwork!
The PG13 version of The Merchant of Venice.
This actually drew a richer trove of entries than I thought it would.
Congratulations @Spoons. You’re up.
Thanks, Kent! Okay, everybody, give this one a try:
There’s a reason they call them calico cats.
After a busy day of laundry chores, Boots will settle down to a nice selection of mice to torture.
Mehitabel is no longer toujours gai.
“Hey, Ma! The fucking mittens were in the laundry the whole time!”
Oh, sure, “not fashionable.” You try getting good clothes in my size. And you can’t exactly make your own when you don’t have opposable thumbs.
Toonces, the cat who could dry the clothes.
(With apologies to Bertolt Brecht)
You dogs can watch while I’m washing these clothes
And I’m washing these clothes while you’re gawking
Maybe once ya tip me and it makes ya feel swell
In a ratty waterfront in this ratty-old hovel
But you’ll never guess to who you’re talkin’.
No. You couldn’t ever guess to who you’re talkin’.
Mon-day, how I hate doing laun-dry,
I dread scrubbing these kids’ clothes, hanging them on the li—ne…
[To the tune of Memory from Cats]
“Buy the kid a damned doll, already!”
OK, I posed for your picture. Now get these clothes off of me before I claw your @^&%ing eyes out!
And the winner is @Quondam_Mechanic for this gem:
Your turn, Quondam!
yawn – it’s the wee hours here, so I’ll try to come up with something in a few hours. Thanks, Spoons!
At long last – and I hope better late than never, but it might be a close call.
[OK, I’ll take the obvious start]
It’s Spongebob Deadpants!
All right, Mr. Crab! I’ve had enough of your attitude. Into the Kettle with ya!
Because the comics industry had been struggling, Marvel thought to capture the Sponge Bob audience that had grown to the teenage bracket by making their childhood hero a bloodthirsty psycho killer.