“I’m not here to raid, just criticize.”
“Let’s see if those strips of fruit jerky I left in here last winter are done yet.”
“This is now we do it nowadays. Pick-a-nick baskets are so 1960s.”
“Honey barbecue wings, comin’ up!”
Enticing him with food smells, our innovative bear trap fires a tranquilliser dart the moment the lid is lifted.
“I beat Bobby Flay. Guess where he is now.”
-
How do you like your steak?
-
ROARRRRRR
- Sorry, ahem, I mean rare. Thank you, Margaret!
After much stewing over so many good entries, this is the winner.
I used to watch that show all the time.
Though how you all missed the most obvious answer, I’ll never know.
Bear Grylls.
I was counting on it. 
Thank you. 
Let’s try something different:
First, there were beer goggles. Next, there were wine glasses.
“That’s nothing! My Uncle Ernie can make binoculars out of anything! Wine glasses, ketchup bottles, salt and pepper shakers…”
“These work just fine, but aren’t they going to be a little cumbersome when I umpire the baseball game?”
Young Miss Magoo
When Man Ray bent the light ray.
“I, spy, with my great big distorted eyes…”
Wakes up, looks around…AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
These glasses do not make the world look better. Maybe if they were filled with vodka…
“Yes, I can see better, but I think I’ll stick with contacts.”
I said you need glasses… not glasses
Are you sure these glasses were modeled from Marie Antoinette’s breasts? These look more like her grandmother’s breasts.