A Genuine Caption Contest

This new pet wash station will really take off with just a few more amenities.

Cesar Millan’s ability to communicate with dogs was a trait he inherited from his great-grandfather Felipe, the Steg Whisperer.

Behold the splendor of the Topiariodon!

Hmm. Let’s go with this one:

Maybe summon @Bonum_Legatum by @name.

Thank you. In the “spirit of the staircase” I’ll submit “Brushing after every meal isn’t that bad, but flossing is hell.”

I don’t have a good picture to post, so please go to the back up plan.

@Bicycle_Bill - Why don’t you give us our next pic.

I’m not sure how to post pictures yet and I’m a-feared I would booger things up.

-“BB”-

Here’s one.

Mattel discontinued Track Star Barbie because few girls wanted to buy additional outfits for the dolls.

In the Beehive Sprint, the entrants must wear that hairstyle, either with a wig or naturally; and if there is a tie, the win goes to the entrant with the most massive hair. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the event never got Olympic status.

The first ever Polyester Race came to a standstill as none of the entrants could overcome aerodynamic drag.

Bouffants buff up.

Preparing for the Runway

Dear Track and Field News Forum: I never used to think the stories you printed were real, until one day…

Track and Field in the year 2220: Full Contact Sprints became so dangerous that they contestants were forced to wear hair helmets, although the rules prohibited them from wearing body armor.

It’s Sadie Hawkins Day!

The Winner

And now for something completely different

Good news! Emotional support animals are now welcome at AA meetings.