A Gift From My Wife to All of Us

Hello dopers. I’m not one of the big names on the board, so most of you don’t know me. Only a few people know that I lost my wife last month, to a stroke, at the age of 49.

Her name was Susan, and she was an amazing woman. As part of my process to carry her with me in a positive way, I’m sharing this gift from Susan everywhere I can. It’s her favorite word: BELIEVE.

Susan believed in the power of words, and had the word BELIEVE all over our house. Because Susan was who she was, BELIEVE is a verb. She was a woman of action. As soon as she knew what she wanted, she didn’t wait one minute. So she didn’t choose BELIEF. You can talk about BELIEF without ever believing. BELIEVE changes things.

Susan’s journey on this earth is done, but I believe she wants us all to have the power of her favorite word. I ran across a quote in a book on grieving the other day - “All important decisions must be made on the basis of insufficient data.” True enough. So BELIEVE is ultimately a decision. You can’t BELIEVE because you have scrupulously eliminated any doubt. That never happens. You just have to go.

I have all the things from around the house - wall decorations, stones with BELIEVE etched in them, a Scrabble rack with the word ready to be played (for a bingo!). I’m going to be giving them to people Susan loved. But the real gift is the word.

All of us here have something we’re struggling with. It’s part of being alive. So whatever that may be for you, Susan wants you to have this:


I’m sorry for your loss, bup. Your post shows the great love you felt for your wife.

I’m sorry to hear about your wife, and thank you for your message.

I am so sorry for your loss, and thank you for that great message. I needed it this morning.

Sorry for your loss. Thank you for the message though.

Thank you bup. Sorry for your great loss of such a wonderful inspiring woman.

I’m so sorry for your loss, bup. You’re doing your wife a great honor, by giving her favorite word to the people she loved. I’m sure she would have been very happy about that! Thank you for sharing her with us, as well.

Thank you for the message. I’m terribly sorry that you’ll have to live without Susan, but I know that you’ll keep her safe in your heart.

I am so sorry for your loss,bup. “Believe” has always been a favorite word of mine as well, thank you for your heartfelt words sharing Susan’s devotion to the art of Believing.

Thank you, Susan and Bup.

Sorry for your loss. RIP.

Thank you for sharing that wonderful message!

That’s a wonderful message to share with us, bup, and I do recognize your handle and have enjoyed your posts. My best wishes for your grieving period. May it help keep the great memories alive for you.

Oh, I’m so sorry Bup. May your memories give you comfort.

So sorry for your loss. Just gave my sweetie a huge hug.

So sorry for your loss, bup.

I do think you should keep the Scrabble board, though. Susan would want you to. [Note: bup is an excellent Scrabble player who has won slightly more than half of the games that he and I have been playing for the last couple of years.]

Hi bup, I don’t think we’ve interacted much but I recognize your name. So sorry to hear about your loss and I hope your wife’s final gift will be a recurring source of comfort to you. Thank you very much for sharing it.

I’m sorry for your loss, bup. Thank you for sharing Susan’s wisdom with us.

So sorry. Thank you for your inspiring words on her behalf. She seemed like an amazing person.

bup, thank you for sharing a bit of your Susan with us - it’s a wonderful message and one I needed today. I send you many hugs, and my deepest sympathy on your loss.