I was hanging out with a friend, waiting to go to a party. He and another friend had gone to a party the night before, and ‘The Big Mick’ got legless. We went out to lunch, and there was a slurred message on the answerphone. Friend 1 called him back. He’s not going to the party. Seems he was sleepwalking, and went into his son’s room and pissed on the kid’s toys. In front of his mother-in-law. They’d tried to wake him, but he held out a finger and said, ‘Shhhhh!’
On the surface, this scene is pretty funny. Maybe I can write it into a script. But Jesus sitting alone eating a Big Mac! IRL it’s not funny at all! What kind of ‘message’ is that to send to a little boy?
I didn’t go to the party, but Friend 1 did. I called him and he said he wasn’t staying because there were underage people drinking and he didn’t want to be involved.
In relaed news:
“The other night, I got so drunk I wet the bed of some girl I didn’t even know. I wasn’t sleeping, I just stood there and pissed on it.”
Good thing that wasn’t me. :: looks around :: Yes. Definitely not me.
An alcoholic uncle of mine once parked his car in front of a neighbor’s house, went inside and crashed in the neighbor’s bed. They were in the living room, watching TV and my uncle walked past them without being aware they were there. The neighbor’s were good people and let him sleep it off. That episode scared my uncle into quitting his drinking cold turkey. He stayed sober for the next thirty years or so before falling off the wagon again.
On New Year’s Eve I had a lot to drink. When I got home, I went straight to bed. The next morning my fiancee wanted to know what the hell my problem was the night before. I guess that I walked into her walkin closet, started throwing clothes around, dropped my boxers, and started to squat. Luckily she woke up in time to yell at me to go to the actual bathroom, not the drunkard’s bathroom for the blacked out.
I remember none of this. However, I did manage to find a belt that she had been looking for for some time.
I asked if ‘The Big Mick’ was still ‘in the dog house’. Apparently, he was never in it! Geez, if I were his wife, I’d have clouded up and rained all over him. He’s really lucky to have such an understanding mate.
I have had lots of alcohol and other stuff in me to the point of passing out, but have never lost my ability to mistake any object for a toilet. I mean seriously, how does someone get to that point?
Drinking lots of alcohol can do that to people. Circumstances vary. You can drink to excess, pass out, and then when you wake up in the morning someone will ask “Why did you [insert odd behaviour here] last night?” And you’ll be just as shocked as those who wonder what makes people do this.
Even mild hangovers are enough warning for me not to drink too much. I just never got how some people had to wake up naked on the front lawn to get the idea. Hmm.
