Just out of curiosity, has anyone heard from flatlined? She hasn’t posted in almost a month. I hope she’s OK.
I could write a novel on boat ramp etiquette. Here are a couple notes for the dust jacket.
- Fishermen who fillet fish on the ramp and leave the carcass to rot in the summer sun can go suck sweaty goat balls!
- I know the boat ramp is the single most interesting place in your town, but if you’re coming down to rubberneck don’t park on the turnaround.
- Barge operators: Don’t block all the lanes of a multi-lane ramp while doing a crew change. And don’t look at me with all the intelligence of a cow when I ask you to move one of your vans off the fucking ramp!
Stop and Shop (grocery store) has Halloween candy on display, shelves and shelves of it.
It is 100% humidity; so become a fucking cloud and rain and get on the ground and OUT OF THE AIR!
I love this! Reminds me of the explanations Calvin’s father sometimes gave him Like how old photographs are black & white because the world used to be in black & white.
I understand. My grandma used to make comments about what I was eating, including making a joke that I was anorexic at a family dinner one night. I was not anorexic, but I’m having a hard time putting into words how her scrutiny influenced my meals with her. Then a few years ago, my mother-in-law was outraged that someone had gone up to a mutual friend of ours and told him that he was fat. She had made occasional comments in the past that I’m too skinny, and when I brought that up, she said, “But you are!” Sure, I know I should gain some weight, but it’s also true that our mutual friend is overweight. Like purplehorseshoe said, it’s not okay to tell people they are fat, so why is it okay to tell people they are too thin?
The more that I have to shop at WallyWorld, and since Market Basket has the long knives out, that is a given, the more I hope for the large asteroid or comet.
26 checkout lanes, 6 open, and the crew working has no need of drug testing for amphetamines.
Advice of the day: NEVER buy sunscreen that’s in the fifty percent off bin. A certain reindeer and most cherries are less red than I am right now. OUCH!
With my mother, it’s “personal decoration”. Well, home decoration too, but this one comes up less often and if I plant an armoire in a specific spot she can’t move it, unlike the small items.
“You need a haircut”
“You really should wear some makeup”
“Let me lend you some lipstick” - yeeeech! NO! Cooties! Jesus Christ, you don’t share lipstick with someone you wouldn’t french-kiss.
“Tuck your shirt in” - it’s not a shirt, it’s a minidress. If I tuck it in I’ll look like the Michelin Man
“Let me let you some hairspray” - even if I didn’t hate the stench of it, I like my hair free
“Oh your hair looks so good today! You will need a haircut next week” - thank you Mom, is ending on a positive note forbidden by your religion?
“Why don’t you wear some earrings?”
“Those earrings are too small”
“Those earrings are too long”
“Those earrings are too colorful”
“Those earrings are too dull”
“Those earrings…”
“Oh, you should wear a necklace with that!” I can’t stand things on my neck. There’s pictures of me as a child with things that had originally been high-neck. Originally. In the picture they’re more along the lines of funnel-neck, from me tugging on it.
Waitaminute. If he had to pee, couldn’t he just put it in autopilot, and walk back to the W.C.?
Weird. I was just thinking that yesterday, and she also hasn’t logged in during that month, either.
I, also, hope she, Tony, Steve the House Feral and his new Kitten, Lucky, Buttercup, the Beloved Butthead, the minion, and all the rest of the people in her life are well. And that she comes back soon to tell us more stories.
She was on federal jury duty the beginning to middle of last month, maybe that ended up being a huge thing and even though she was free to do whatever then, she really is sequestered now.
Ugh. The girl I used to carpool with to swim practice during high school developed anorexia; it was horrible to watch. (She was so thin and wasted that when she pulled herself up for a backstroke start, the flesh on her face was so tight she looked like a skull; made the entire crowd gasp in horror.) Now, anyone who makes “jokes” about anorexia gets a verbal beatdown from me. If they actually defend their jackassery, they get the verbal buzzsaw.
Not only is that crap rude, it can actually be harmful to someone with a distorted body-image such as with anorexia.
So I fell off my bike this morning. I was stopped and getting off of it. Scrapped my elbow but nothing’s broken (except my pride) .
The fat/thin stories are really wearing aren’t they? I think the crap about “you’re so YOUNG!” is bad, too, especially in a professional environment. You would never say “you’re so OLD” even though I have been sorely tempted.
The person who gets on my case about my weight is my dad. I don’t have enough shared common language to sensibly say “you’re hurting my feelings dad, stop it.” Besides on one level I don’t really care much about his opinion anyway - something he brought upon himself.
It took me a while to realize how hurtful “you’re so THIN!” Can be. But now that I do know I go out of my way to not say it. But what do you do when other people around you are saying it and you know they re not saying it to be mean?
I get “You’re so tall” said to me every so often. I need to think of a snappier comeback to that than “Gee, I didn’t know that.”
Oh, boy! A place to vent those minor irritations that don’t deserve a full rant. (Not that **Missy2U’s **rant was minor. The bitch that said that stuff to/about you deserves to choke on her food.)
I’m a on a FB group for selling dressage horses and related tack. Attention the dozens of morons who think the world revolves around you: A posting about a great saddle or horse you have for sale needs to include where you are located. Saying that the horse “can be seen at Kensington Farms” means nothing to those of us (that’d be the majority of the country) located more than 50 miles from “Kensington Farms.” That may be a well-known barn in your little corner of the world, but we don’t know where that is. Is it really all that hard to say that you are in northern Indiana or west Texas or eastern Podunk? Do you really think that, just because you know where you are, the rest of us do too? Trust me, sunshine, you’re not that special.
To the asshole college student who lives in my apartment building: Do you really need to drop that skateboard you’ve carried up the hill onto the parking lot to ride 30 frickken feet to your door? Drop? At 11 p.m.? Dude, you are in college. Lose the stupid ass skateboard.
Today while I was out walking, I nearly got run over by an Entitled Bicycle Asshole. He proceeded to ride down to almost the end of the road, hop on the sidewalk so he didn’t have to stop behind the cars waiting on the light to turn green, and ride the sidewalk around the corner down the next street.
He also wasn’t wearing a helmet so this will most likely be a self-correcting problem.
Dear Family:
Once, just once, I’d like to eat a meal in one sitting. Unlike tonight, when I got up eleven!!! times before finishing my small serving of spaghetti and a single roll.
Also, memo to Husband:
Yes, I know you’ve been sick for several days with some gastrointestinal ickiness. That doesn’t mean that you need to obsessively quiz everyone in the house on the state of their bowels. Asking me umpteen times whether I was absolutely sure that I hadn’t yet been sick? Annoying. (“Yes honey, I’m pretty sure that I’d be the first to notice my own tummy upset. My intestines have been with me all day, I promise!”) Obsessing over what made you sick? Even more annoying. (I suspect that a bug was shared among patients at one of the two physical therapy facilities that Mr. Matata attends five days per week, because none of the kids have been sick. But I assure you, it wasn’t something you ate - food poisoning would have been over by now, and food poisoning is not contagious.)
Even more annoying? When I finally catch this bug, I’m just as sick as you have been, but I’m still expected to take care of all of the domestic stuff - from meal preparation to cleaning to childcare and bill paying - while still waiting on the Husband hand and foot. (In fairness, he does have those pesky injuries that are still being treated - thus the physical therapy regimen.) But walking right past the medicines on the counter, just so you can awaken your sick wife to dole out your prescriptions? Lame.
And tonight looks to be extra super duper fun. Tony hasn’t tolerated food well, nor retained it well, for the past few days, so his pain medicine seems to have hit him harder than usual. So he’s kind of stoned, which leads to him summoning people to ask them questions (regardless of what they’re doing at that moment,) and then forgetting the question before the summonee arrives. Hoorah!
Also? I’m just so damned weary of trying to juggle everything to pay the bills. For the first year after Tony’s wreck, the state indemnity fund for public safety personnel injured in the line of duty paid a stipend - the difference between workers compensation and Tony’s usual salary. The difference was well over $1000 per month, and the bills were paid. For the past seven months, though, we’ve eaten into our entire reserve, and I’m reduced to paying 3/4 of this bill and half of that one, trying to stave off the wolf at the door. This past month’s electric bill, plus back-to-school expenses finally pushed us over the edge. Our expenses are minimal - $300 mortgage, tiny credit card debt ('tho that’s growing. I had to pay half of the power bill with the Mastercard. That will hurt.) We don’t go out to eat, we don’t go to the movies, I don’t go to the salon or shop recreationally. Our big “luxury” is cable and internet. Cable will go next, I guess…
And the 13-year-old has a big school trip this year. I don’t know whether we can send her, and she’s aware of that. She’s also taking that like a trooper. She knows it may not happen. But I could just cry.
I’ll bet the Dope could do a fund-raiser for the 13-year-old…anyone have any ideas?
“My mother had not had a hot meal for herself in fifteen years.”
Warning: crappy video quality.