A hearty fuck you to my sister

I don’t care how fucking upset you are. You cannot come into my home, screaming obscenities and threatening the person I live with, even if that person is your daughter. Maybe, instead of taking the word of somebody who already stole from you, you should have stopped to think about what you were doing? Or is it just too much fun to play the martyr and pretend the rest of the family is plotting against you?

Background: My two nephews, ages 13 and 8, pop into the house, all by themselves. We live about twenty miles away from my sister’s house, so somebody had to drop them off in town. I asked them how they got here and the 13yo says his mother dropped them off at the beach and went to run errands. We’re about a mile from a lake and I’d been given no warning the kids were wandering around town by themselves. As I’m trying to figure out what my sister was thinking, my older nephew shows me a wad of cash from his pocket. He claims some friends of his gave it to him. It looked like he had eighty something dollars on him and he said he’d already spent some on sunglasses and a skateboard and given his mother $28 worth. Okay, so things are getting weirder. My sister doesn’t have a cellphone, so I can’t call her to ask WTF is going on, so I just go back to cleaning the house and after a while the kids say they’re going back to the beach. This doesn’t sit entirely well with me, even if their mother did leave them there.

My sister’s oldest child, my niece, lives with me due to their extremely unhealthy relationship and my niece’s history of depression as a result of this. She lives with me in the upstairs of a duplex with my mother in the downstairs. Between the both of us, there’s almost always someone around to keep an eye on her. My niece is now sixteen and has been getting her act together, much to everyone’s relief. She has a job and I knew she had a paycheck she wanted to cash, so I suggested she walk the boys down to the beach on her way to cashing her paycheck, while I stayed at home to see if her mother was going to show up.

So, she does. My niece comes back and says she left her brothers at the beach and she has to get ready to go out with some friends. Five minutes later, my sister arrives. She asks if the boys ever showed up at the house and I tell her, yes, and that they’d gone back to the beach. Then she starts asking about some money that’s missing from her purse. Oh boy, I think, my nephew must have stolen it. Ah! But it’s not that simple. It turns out the story of getting it from his friends was true, but that she had taken it away from him so that she could get her phone turned on, and then he’d apparently stolen it back before she dropped him off.

None of it makes any sense. Mothers shouldn’t have to take money from their young teens to get their phones fucking turned on. I feel like I’m getting lied to somewhere along the line, but whatever. My sister leaves to go track her sons down. A few minutes later she comes back, screaming obscenities. I ask her to please keep her voice down, as we live in a small town and the neighbors are so close I could spit on their house from my window. Apparently, my nephew is missing sixty dollars of the money he’d had and he claims he gave it to my niece. So, my sister storms in to scream at my niece and threaten her with the police. I ask my niece to show me her wallet and find that, in fact, all she has on her is the exact amount her paycheck had been for.

My sister continues insisting that my niece is just very, very good at stealing. The odd thing is that, in fact, my niece has no history of stealing. She’s never taken anything from me in the entire year I’ve lived with her, but my sister has stolen hundreds of dollars from me and my nephew was actually banned from a state park once after robbing a camper’s van.

Finally, my sister storms off, slamming doors behind her, yelling that she’s going to the police. After she’s gone, I realize that my nephew had said he’d spent money on sunglasses and a skateboard.

I bet those two things cost about $60.

Jesus Christ. I come from a nice middle-class family. I live in a nice little house, in a nice little town. How in the world is it that this pack of ghetto psychotics is related to me?

That sucks, but I’m wondering why your nephew’s friends gave him all that money.

Where can I get friends like that?

Wow! I’m sorry to hear about this. Not much to add, but {{CaerieD and niece}}. I hope your sister grows up sometime soon.

Yes I know it’s the Pit, but jeez!

He claims he got it for helping them clean up their campsite, but we’re talking a pretty healthy chunk of change if he had around $80 when I saw him, left his mother with $28, and somewhere along the way spent/lost $60.

My thought is he probably did steal it and my sister turned a blind eye because she wanted the cash. :rolleyes:

Thanks, Dolores Reborn. It might be the Pit but it’s appreciated all the same.

Or he fenced some other crap he stole. No matter what, it sounds like your sister has earned the salute you’ve given her.

I am so sorry.

Thank you for helping your neice. It doesn’t sound like a healthy place for her with her mother. Trust me, young girls need good role models.

If it is any consolation, I was the bad kid. I never did anything right, my brother, the convicted felon, was the golden child. I grew up just fine for the most part, even though I’ve got my own issues. What was most telling for me is that the boy is known for stealing and had an unaccountable amount of cash and yet the daughter was still in the wrong.

Give the kid a hug for me. God gives you relatives, you choose your friends.

Heh, my step-Mom used to play my Sister and I against each other. No matter what happened I was always in the wrong somehow. Luckily my sister is overall a pretty nice person and didn’t play me out like that.

Condolences to you and your niece.

You need a new theory – he said he bought the sunglasses and skateboard before (or maybe at the same time) you saw the wad of cash. So it went somewhere else.

A new theory? I think she needs new/better locks.

That, and maybe a fresh can of “Get The Fuck Out of My House, Bitch”. But I have sister issues of my own, so YMMV.

How old is this kid? Is he dealing?

Sounds like the boys need to move out as well and get their acts straightened out. Your sister sounds…unstable. Sorry for all this–it must be hard on you and your niece to never know when the nastiness is going to start again…

The OP stated that the kid in question is 13. That’s young to be dealing but not impossible.

Not necessarily: He has, at some point, $168. He gives $28 to his mother, leaving him with $140. She takes that from him, he steals it back. Then he buys sunglasses and a skateboard, shows CaerieD the rest, and leaves. When his mother catches up with him, he has $80, which is $60 less than he had when he originally took it (back) from her.

Makes perfect sense.

Boyo Jim - My sister said that he’d been given over $150 from his friends and left $28 in her purse, so I assume the majority of the missing $60 must have been spent before I ever even saw him. But, what with her acting like a lunatic and whatnot, I wasn’t able to find out the precise amount he’d received to begin with. It’s possible she knew he bought those things and had taken it into account when describing the missing money. Not being able to get her to talk to me rationally, I suppose I’ll never know for sure.

eleanorigby - I’ve thought that myself, but while she willingly sent my niece packing she wouldn’t be so accommodating when it comes to the younger children, as she gets child support and social security for them. There’s also the simple fact that as much as I love them, I’m a single twenty-something and just not equipped to take on an entire household of children, even with my mother and I helping one another. If it ever got as bad for them as it had been for my niece, I suppose I’d have to do something, though.

Thankfully, the police never showed up. I hope she came to her senses enough to realize that the whole thing was asinine.

Incidentally, I do hope that you’ve given your niece a hug. :slight_smile:

I gave her a hug as soon as her mother left and several since. The sane members of the family are very affectionate. :slight_smile:

Your niece is so lucky to have someone like you in her life. Give her another hug from me.

It sounds like the niece is already dealing with her mom, by not living with her. Your unstable sister and her son with the wad of cash, sound like some other screwed up families I’ve encountered. She sounds like one of the people that never are at fault for the suckiness of their life. I hope you continue to support your niece living above you. I’ve seen kids like your niece grow up a balanced person mostly because they lived at another adult’s house. I would tell her that you didn’t believe she took the money, and asked only to shut up her mom. I would also tell her after thinking through this episode that next time her mom will just get tossed out. This is of course if you will do that.