Ambystoma!!!
I love my love with a C because he is charming.
I hate my love with a C because he is condescending.
His name is Chris and he lives in Cuba.
I love my love with a D because he is daring.
I hate my love with a D because he is dangerous.
His name is Daniel and he lives in Delaware.
Kitty
I love my love with an E because he is evil.
I hate my love with an E because he is ennui-inspiring.
His name is Eddie and he lives in Ecuador.
I love my love with an F because he is free-spirited.
I hate my love with an F because he is funky-smelling.
His name is Frank and he lives in Fargo.
One for each thigh, then higher
One for each lip, quivering with desire
then, fighting thru the funky tangle
One for the apex of your fiery triangle
Synopsis of The Scarlet Letter, from “Jump off the Cliff Notes”
A is for Hester, the horrible whore.
B is the Baby she got the A for.
C is for Chillingsworth, the husband betrayed.
D is for Dinsdale, the guy who got laid.
.
.
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[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by racinchikki *
**
I love my love with a G because he is grinning
I hate my love with a G because he is grating
His name is George and he lives in Greenland
I love my love with an H because he is humble
I hate my love with an H because he is headstrong
His name is Harold and he lives in Honduras
Grammar School - Apple
Junior High - Ass
High School - Assessment
College - Acid Trip
First Job - Asinine
First Career - Affluent
Marriage - Amalgamate
Divorce - Alimony
Retirement - Alzheimers
A you’re adorable
B you’re so beautiful
C you’re a cutie, full of charm
D you’re a darling and
E you’re exciting and
F you’re a feather in my arms…
ism.
B for chicken
C for yourself
D for dumb
E for Peron
F for vescent
G for Skippy
H for your love
I for Novello
J for oranges
K for Sutherland
L for leather
M for sis
N for a penny
O for crying out loud
P for the doctor
Q for the bus
R for mo’
S for you, my pretty
T for two
U for me
V for la France
W for a dollar
X for breakfast
Y for the love of God
Z for tunes of la guerre
With apologies to Mr. Espy, “An Almanac of Words at Play,” which I do not own - loved my father’s copy.
Amy, who fell down the stairs
B is for Basil, assaulted by bears
C is for Clara, who wasted away
D is For Desmond, thrown out of a slay
E is for Ernest, who choked on a peach
F is for Fanny, sucked dry by a leach…
(and x is for xtn, xpelled by copyright police)
I love my love with an I because he is impish
I hate my love with an I because he is idiotic
His name is Ignatius and he lives in Illinois
I love my love with a J because he is jolly
I hate my love with a J because he is judgmental
His name is Jason and he lives in Jamaica
Amanda
I love my love with a K because he is kitten-ish
I hate my love with a K because he is Kurdish
His name is Kenneth and he lives in Kentucky
I love my love with a L because he is loving
I hate my love with a L because he is loud
His name is Larry and he lives in Louisiana
Kitty
I love my love with an M because he is mine
I hate my love with an M because he is MaryJane’s and Martha’s and Melinda’s and Melodie’s and MANY others…
His name is Malakai and he lives in Mississippi
I love my love with an N because he is nimble
I hate my love with an N because he’s a necrophiliac
His name is Norman and he lives with None other than mother…
I love my love with an I because she is intelligent
I hate my love with an I because she can be intolerant
Her name is Isabella and she lives in Iceland
I love my love with a J because she likes how the extra curves and serifs feel…
I love my love with an O because she is orgasmic
I hate my love with an O because she is obstinate.
Her name is Olafunmilola and she lives in Ouagadougou.
I love my love with a P because she is pretty.
I hate my love with a P because she is persnickety.
Her name is Penelope Pitstop and she lives in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
I love my Q because she’s a Queen
I hate my Q because she’s queer
Her name is Quixote and she chases windmills
I love my R because he’s Randy
I hate my R because he’s Rambunctious
His name is Roger and he lives in Rhode Island
I love my S because she is Sexy
I hate my S because she is sad
Her name is Sandy and she lives in Sacramento
I love my T because she is Terribly Terrific, taut and tantalising
I hate my T because she is Too Far Away
Her name is Tonya and she lives in The States 
<sigh> It’s not even possible for you to get any better, love.