In the future, when I ask you to check if the dogs crapped in a room I will expect you to follow accepted procedures. Those listed below will no longer be accepted:
[ul]
[li] Superman has xray vision. You do not. You will need to open the door, your eyes, and your noses. You may find it advantageous to turn on the lights, too.[/li]
[li] Do not consult your horoscope. These are notoriously unreliable and I doubt Sydney Omarr or the planet Saturn really know if the dogs crapped in the family room.[/li]
[li] Do not consult your spirit guide. That Ojibway princess you claim to talk to hasn’t had a nose in three thousand years. She couldn’t care less if the dogs crapped.[/li]
[li] Finally, do not do what I did, which was to trust that you had actually done your job. And if you do make this mistake, do not compound it by walking into the room barefoot and without your glasses.[/li][/ul]
Oh, man that was funny. 
Sorry, dropzone. It just reminded me of Eddie Murphy’s whole routine on dog poop and how it becomes invisible to kids who are supposed to clean it up.
I hope you made your kids clean it off your foot and off the floor.
If growing up with lots of animals has taught me anything, dropzone, it’s that the best way for a kid to find dog poop is by putting on shoes with a really deep tread (the newer the shoes, the more effective the method). Magnet-like, their feet will be drawn to the dog poop. In most cases, this will not be discovered until long after they’ve come back in the house, or into the other rooms of the house, and tracked it to and fro while Dad asks, “What the HELL is that smell? Did the dog shit in here?!”
[Eddie Murphy Voice]
“This ain’t Scooby-Doo, motherfucker! You gotta scoop up the shit! You know what I do when you’re not home? I kick the motherfucker. I kick the motherfucker with everything I got. Then I giggle my motherfuckin’ ass off.”
[/Eddie Murphy Voice]
What’s your stand on Miss Cleo lending a hand?
I need her to have convictions as to the location of the dog crap. Simple arrests for suspicion don’t count.
For any matters relating to children, animals and poop, I defer the Scylla’s child(ren?)
[Foghorn Leghorn voice]
Ah say “to Scylla’s child(ren?). TO, that is.”
[/Foghorn Leghorn voice]
Wouldn’t it be simpler to just housetrain the dog?
All three had the flu. They slept outdoors after we found out. But dogs have accidents and, while it seems impossible to train my kids to do a decent job, complaining still takes less effort on my part than cleaning it myself.
And in my experience the best way for an adult to locate dog poop is to take his or her shoes off, because stepping on a fresh turd barefoot is vile, unsettling, and disgusting.