A letter to people who don't pay their bills:

Okay, this is my first rant here. I absolutely HAVE to get this out of my system.

I work for the local cable company. Before you laugh, let me just state that I do about everything there from answering phones to designing neighborhood cable systems. I am the six man (a basketball reference) in the company. I love my job because of the variety (and also because I am the only one who is cross trained in every department).

There is, however, one aspect to the business that I simply cannot stand. I absolutely hate even talking to people who don’t pay their cable bill on time. These are the people who simply cannot comprehend the harm they are doing to other people by being late with their bill.

All of the logistics are provided here.

For one, if you are late with your bill, do not call us complaining when your digital receiver shuts down becuase you are late with your bill. We will not re-activate the receiver until you pay us. When that box turns off, it is due to the fact that you are exactly one week away from being completely disconnected. That means we have to roll a truck out to your house.

Do not complain when we do show up at yuor house to give you one last chance to stay active. Yes, we do knock on your door before we disconnect your cable. Yes, we do charge $20 for this service. That is just a fraction of what it costs to send the truck to your house. Guess what? If you don’t have the money to pay us at that time, we’ll charge an additional $20 to hook you back up again once you get your account caught up. Forty freakin’ dollars for being late with my bill? Don’t give me any of that shit.

One of our trucks costs $30,000 completely outfitted. That truck gets an average of ten trips a day for an average of 50 weeks a year. That is 500 trips per year. A truck will average 5 years of service before it starts to cost more to maintain the truck than it does to buy a new one. That is 2500 trips over a truck’s lifetime. That equals $12 a trip. One can add another dollar to that for gas. Add another $10 for the wage of the technician. And, before we are done, we must also consider that the truck has about 50% of its original cost done in maintenance over the course of its life. That means we can add another $6 a trip. That equals a flat $29 fee for the bare minimum. That does not include the fact that we pay labor for the people who have the trucks outfitted and maintained. That does not include the fact that we have to set aside four full man-days of time just for the people who have to prepare the orders. That does not include the fact that we have to spend oodles of money on the paper and postage we have to use to send a letter informing you of the fact that you need to pay us (about $2500 a month). And, finally, that does not include the people who never pay us (our corporate office estimates that an average truck roll costs $65 when considering every ounce of money that it costs to generate that truck roll…from the receptionist answering the phone to the guy who actually knocks on the door).

Our company has been working hard over the past year to get within our monthly “non-pay” budget. We averaged spending over $25,000 a month (over $2.5 million nationally) in non-pay expenses last year. With 40,000 customers, that would normally be over $0.50 a customer just so we can have people who don’t pay their bills. With 100 employees, that is an extra $250 a month that each of us could be taking home.

The only option we have is to screw the people who deserve to be screwed. We will no longer charge people who pay their bill on time every month for the actions of delinquants. We no longer make any sort of payment arrangements unless you notify us before your initial bill is due. Considering that we wait a full 60 days after that to perform the disconnect, you have plenty of time to reconcile. Plus, I always know if I am going to be strapped for cash before my bills even arrive in the mail. Yes, I was late with my electricity bill once (about a week late) because I couldn’t afford to pay it. I called the company the day I received my bill in the mail in order to make arrangements to pay them. I paid half of it before the due date, and the other half the week after the due date. It’s pretty simple…and no one got riled up. We also no longer send out “cablegrams” informing you when you are two weeks away from being disconnected (we saved over $2500 last month by instituting that policy).

We will still knock on your door when it is time to disconnect. We will still charge $20 for our time if we have to do that, though. We are more than happy to keep you as a customer…but you must realize that we will charge you for every expense you incur to us because of the fact that you are late.

If you cannot afford to feed your kids, you should not have cable. I could keep one kid very healthy for $37.50 a month (provided, of course, that he/she wasn’t a teenager).

And don’t threaten me with the old “I’m going to get a dish” rant. They expect you to pay your bills too.

And don’t tell me that you know how to get cable for free either. I will put a warning on your account. We will check back every month for a year to make sure you do not hook yourself up (costing us more money). And we will turn you over to the local police department if we do catch you. Just be thankful we don’t get the FCC involved.

People who steal cable are a strange breed…ironically on the same rung as people who don’t pay their bills. They are both one and the same…they are stealing a signal that is well regulated by our government. It could get one prison time (up to ten years, in fact).

Just feel lucky that we go easy on you.

Look, you don’t understand.

None of that stuff about having to pay your bills on time applies to me. You need to go after all those other deadbeats, no question.

But I need cable. And it doesn’t cost you anything extra to keep feeding it to me for free. As a matter of fact, I am doing you a favor by sparing you the expense of shutting me off.

So just keep it coming, and I will pay you sometime when things aren’t so tight. Eventually.

Regards,
Shodan

Firstly, how much did your employer pay you for this whine on their behalf? I hope it was a lot.

Second, before you start ranting at people who can’t do their sums, learn mathematics yourself.

You say that your trucks do 10 trips a day for fifty weeks a year, and that this adds up to 500 trips a year. Wrong. Last time i counted, there were five days in a regular work week. This means the trucks make 50 trips a week, for 50 weeks a year, which is 2500 trips a year, not 500.

Which makes 12,500 trips over the 5-year life of the truck.

Which is $2.40 a trip, not $12.

And $2.40 is NOT “just a fraction of what it costs to send the truck to your house.”

So, you think it only costs $37.50 per month to raise a kid?

What i meant was, the $20 you charge to knock on someone’s door before you cut off their cable is not “just a fraction of what it costs to send the truck to your house.”

And i’ve got to second lorinada’s question, too. If you can keep a kid on $37.50 a month, either you’re a genius who needs to share his secrets with the rest of the world, or you need to be reported to social services.

I don’t think the point was that you can keep a kid on $37.50 a month, but that if you’re going to bitch that you can’t afford to pay the cable bill because your kids are starving, maybe you shouldn’t have the cable in the first place because there’s obviously a better place for your money to be going.

Well, racinchikki, you might be right about what his more general point was, but his assertion was there in black and white for all to see:

And i call “bullshit” on that assertion.

Well sure… the kid’s a bit thin, but it’s all muscle I tell you!

i dont think we should be nitpicky on rants…
People are angry!

Now if there wasnt a waiting period on getting a gun im sure the pit wouldn’t be here.

Well, the $37.50 claim is quite a stretch. Sounds like bjohn13 doesn’t have kids, or if he does I’m sorry for them.

That said, I do have kids. When money became tight after we moved a few years ago, the first thing we did was dump the cable box. It was the responsible thing to do; on our list of priorities, TV is pretty fucking low. We paid off the bill (which wasn’t much), and never went back again – not because the company treated us poorly (they didn’t), but because we discovered we didn’t need it.

Money’s still sort of tight, but we could probably afford cable TV if we wanted it. Even so, I’m glad we haven’t gone back. I’d personally rather spend that $40 a month on something I can really enjoy, rather than 500 channels of garbage.

Call that the anti-rant.

Yeah, I used to work for one of the dish companies.

Our office sold and installed the dishes. In addition to our salaries, we got a $40 commission for every dish sold. Unfortunately, whenever anyone didn’t pay their bill, and broke their contract, we had to give the commission back, and we had to go to their houses to retrieve the equipment. It didn’t happen too often, thankfully, but often enough to irritate the hell out of us.

Once, a woman cussed me out for calling to find out why she hadn’t paid her bill. (Well, it actually happened more than once, but she was the most virulent.) The woman shouted that we had “no right” to ask her to pay the bill, and accused me of being “selfish and greedy.” She also refused to return the equipment, and became furious when I told her that unless she did, she would have to pay for it. She screamed insults so loud I had to hold the phone away from my ear. “I gotta feed my fuckin’ kids!” I lost my temper and told her she should have thought of that before she had a sattelite system installed.

Bounced checks were irritating, especially when the people refused to make matters right. One of my less scrupulous co-workers would sometimes go over and cut their sattelite cables. They would call for service, which we would refuse until they paid their bill.

So, how about cable companies that cash all 12 of the years post-dated cheques on the same day, and then the following month contact you and say they haven’t received that months payments.

“Well, you collosal assholes - that’s because you took this months, as well as the next 10 months out of my account last month.”

How about when this has to be proven, with copies of the cashed, returned cheques from my bank at the cost of $4 each.

How about I will never, no mater WHAT sort of “DEAL” you come up with, ever have one of your products in my home again.

How 'bout that?

Cable company indeed.

Yep, I love it when people who aren’t paying you anything think that threatening to go elsewhere will put the fear of god into you.

“No, don’t go! Anything but that! Please, I beg you, keep taking our services for nothing in return, please!”

Heh. I used to work answering phones for a cable company. Taking abuse from human garbage was 80% of the job. My favorite were the people who would call up and complain so bitterly that their cable was shut off for nonpayment that I’d have to get a supervisor to call them back. I’d confirm their phone number and they’d say “No, that’s been shut off. I’m at a neighbor’s house. The number is…”

In other words, cable television, in all it’s inestimably crappy glory, is a higher priority for you than your fucking phone. Brilliant. For humanity’s sake, never reproduce, please.

I deal with cellular clients on a regular basis, in the customer service department. Y’know, the catchall ‘I don’t understand my bill and how do I turn my phone off’ idiots.

I just looooooove getting calls from people who call up in a tizzy, because their phones are no longer functional. And when I review the account, it turns out that service has been suspended for nonpayment.

“But I need my phone back on! I conduct business with my phone!”

Dumbass. Should have paid your bill. If you conduct business, then clearly you would understand that my company, as a business, cannot (more importantly, will not) provide a pro bono service to the community at large.

But the ones I love even more are the customers who tell me what I (and my supervisor) will do.

Take Ms C, for example. “You will give my file to your supervisor, and you will have your supervisor review my account, and your supervisor will call me back. And he will call me back TODAY. Is that clear?”

Yes’m, it’s clear that you’re a pissant bitch, and I can also make clear to you that no, my supervisor will not call you back, and he most certainly will not call you back today.

I got so irritated that I gave her phone number to my supervisor, along with a summary of what was going on. He asked if I had followed procedure and sent it to the correct department for review. I replied I had, but had also told Ms C that I would give her number to him.

He smiled and threw the paper away.

I love my boss.

just loves his/her job

thinks the “company” is great

becomes their job

speaks on behalf of the “company” and spouts company policy

becomes a zealous company employee

invest lots of energy and time into job and company

gets laid-off unexpectedly or is treated shabbily by a dumb-ass manager, and is dismissed or leaves

ironically, is late with bills due to temporary unemployment

realizes that their earlier zealousness was misguided and naive

wonders about expending all that zealous energy for nothing

wonders why company owners got wealthy and he/she got nothing

feels less enthusiastic about “the company”

gains perspective, begins to see the system more clearly

rinse and repeat until it sinks in

OK, I admit to being a deadbeat at one time. I was 3 months late on paying the cable. My bad. But let’s discuss the scrupulous and honorable AT&T Broadband’s complicity in this.

I had basic cable, plus 1 extra channel. $37.50 my ass. It was about $45. For basic.

One day, I got a call from the CC. They said they urgently needed to replace the cable box. I asked if I could just leave it be, or if they could reschedule. After all, I ddn’t need or want any upgrades. No dice. This was something they needed to do, and on a certain date.

So the guy came out and gave me a digital box, much against my will. Before he left, he told me that as a free gift, I would get all of the premium channels for free for about a week. After I left, I looked over the work order, and dicovered that my bill would be about $50. Fucking bastards never told me this.

So how was the new box? Horrible. The reception was, at best, nearly totally tiled. After a few days of this crap, I called to complain. So I had to free up another day for another service call.

When the new new box came in, the free premium channels that I’d just lost were restored. O happy day! Now the service worked fine, and I had free access to such great movies as CHUD XIV and Plan 8 1/2 From Outer Space.

Until I got my bill, 4 months later. I expected it to be for $200. Wrong. It was for $400. When I called to complain, I was informed that not only did I demand the digital cable, but I signed up for the premium service. WTF?!? No, I most certainly did neither.

At any rate, AT&T Slimeband was “kind” enough to knock $50 off the bill for me. Fucking Nazi Commie assbombs.

So when you wonder who pays for those trucks, rest assured, it’s me.

But at least I got to see Beethoven XXVIII for the low price of $150.

I pay an outrageous cable bill every month (I have cable modem on top of my TV channels). I pay regularly. I pay in full. So why is it that I’m still treated like the slime of the earth when I call in with a valid complaint?
A few years ago I received a bill for over $400 for one month. :eek: They had charged me for about a gazillion hours worth of playboy pay-per-views. Now, at that time I lived alone. I was in class during the day, when the majority of the charges were listed. And besides which–I’m not a fucking idiot! If I wanted to watch porn I’d jet down to the video store, and if I wanted to watch bad nude scenes with completely unsatisfying teaser shots I’d go hang out in the locker room at the gym. What the hell!

But I STILL have a black mark on my record for refusing to pay those charges. The rep was very snotty with me, insisting again and again that “it is simply not possible for those charges to appear unless you pressed the buttons on your remote to order the programs”. Dipshit, as I’d already explained a hundred times it was physically impossible for me to do so, seeing as how I was not even around when they were supposedly made… I still can’t order anything pay-per-view, and still get snide comments about my “questionable history” when I call for help with my account.

Fuck you cable company! Your precious never-wrong records can lick my dimpled ass!

Oh god Sapphire Wolf, I’m getting flash backs just reading your post. Ironically I’m at work right now, getting ready to talk to some human trash that do not understand how paying the bills work.

Thank the gods I moved from Customer Service (aka the “hole”) to Activations where I take some pleasure in rejecting fuckers who have HOOOOOOOORRRIBLE credit and/or past experiences with us or other cell companies and tell them to fuck off. We actually get people who owe other cell phone providers money, try to get service from us. I enjoy telling these wastes of flesh that their security deposit will be $4000.

In CS I only spoke to maybe 3 or 4 people (out of the 10s of thousands) that actually admitted they couldn’t pay. I was very generous with these people, giving them extra time with no late payment charges. Only 1 lied to me and I cut their line a few weeks later and left a nasty comment about them.

Gods it’s good to rant about it. I can relate to what bjohn13 was ranting about, even if some of his math does suck (and it is true that people who don’t pay fuck things for everyone else. I had one fuck tell me, because we made money on Late Payments, we should be happy that he likes to pay late? Dumb fuck doesn’t understand how much it costs us to put an account in collections.)

[smug]We have our cable bill paid automatically every month, so we never need to worry about paying the bill on time.[/smug]

I do not understand why anyone buys PPV movies on cable. The charge for PP is $4.95, a full $1.60 over what it costs to rent a DVD, which you can watch over again with better audio and video quality and special features as well.