A love letter to my manager.

You knew when you hired me 4 months ago that I had many but not all of the skills you were looking for but agreed that I could learn what was needed. You knew and still know, that my 12 years with my previous employer indicated a high likelyhood of skill and competence at my job. You also knew, or at least you should have, that there would be a learning curve but I would be worth it.

You knew I would be asking questions and require some aid here and there at first. So why is it, when I ask a legitimate question about the software or the data model or standards and procedures, I get an eye roll and laughter? Why is it when I ask a legitimate question I get written up as not meeting expectations? Why are you behaving in such a manner that I’m completely cowed about asking questions? Then, when I make some error I’m written up for not asking questions.

What the HELL am I supposed to do? Ask questions so that I can do my job properly, then be accused of requiring too much assistance? Or remain silent, make mistakes, and be accused of not asking enough FRIGGING questions.

And if I try to escape from between this rock and hard place - if I try to short-circuit this vicious cycle and avoid the whole mess by keeping the manager out of it and asking a question of one of my amiable co-workers WELL GOD FORBID I should do that! You heard I was asking questions about the work, and you’ve told me that from now on only YOU and one other designated co-worker should be asked questions. This is not because I’m annoying others. My co-workers and I enjoy each others’ company and in this kind of technical work people constantly exchange questions and feedback about the work. No, this is about you knowing if I’m asking questions (you admitted this), probably so you can write me up if I am asking, and write me up if I’m not.

And now the latest complaint is that I’m not retaining information! Well no SHIT SHERLOCK! It’s a wonder I can even bring myself to enter that toxic environment everyday let alone concentrate and retain information. Let alone be able to concentrate and memorize the monster data model that you wanted me to become an expert on in a few months time (even though you know I’ve never before worked with data models). I’m talking about a huge model that takes up a wall and a half of my cube (it literally wraps around the corner and takes up another half wall.)

I’m afraid to ask questions. I’m afraid NOT to ask questions. I’m almost frigging afraid to FUCKING breathe around you.

I have to go back again tomorrow. I need the money and I NEED the health benefits. Sigh…

Your manager didn’t want to hire you. He wanted the blonde with the big bazookas. Find out who overrode him and talk to them about the situation.

P.S. Don’t stop asking questions of your co-workers.

I just have to figure out which of my co-workers ratted on me so that I can avoid him or her.

Oddly enough, your remark about the blonde with the big bazookas may be kinda sorta relevant. I’m starting to think that he didn’t want to hire me (perhaps becauses of a big bazooka blonde or maybe for other reasons) but his manager, a woman who also interviewed me, did want to hire me - and not necessarily just for my competence, as the opposite sex does seem to find me -ahem- :wink: desirable. She does seem to always make a point of saying hello to me. And it may be that she’s the only reason I still have this god-awful but necessary job. Maybe I should dust off my resume again. Sigh…

Start looking for another job, this one isn’t worth it, and it CAN get worse. Don’t let bossypoo know anything until you have written confirmation of an offer, and then give this asshole the absolute minimum notice possible (less is better). During your exit interview with personnel, drop the boom on him. Just make sure the next job is confirmed in writing.

I recently went through the same situation with the cunt-like substance who used to be my boss. Had she not left when she did, I would be looking for another job. I have no advice for you. This kind of bullshit is insufferable. If you can find another gig, take it.

Life’s too short. Brush up your resume and get the hell out of there. You deserve better.

… or become the boy-toy of the woman who you think did want you hired. :wink:

“Sleeping with the boss - it’s not just for women anymore.”

This happenned to me way back: I was imposed on my then manager. He did not take it well. It was a lesson well learned.

Same story here. Her name was Lisa, right? :slight_smile:

If you’re saying I should quit immediately without first securing other employment, I simply can’t do that. But I may start looking.

But… but… She’s not a blonde with big bazookas!

“May”? “MAY”?!? This job is totally toxic - your stomach lining and self-esteem are taking massive hits here.

First step - go over this clown’s head. Talk to his supervisor and ask them how you can work with him better (no pointing fingers - ask in the spirit of trying to solve a problem). If they can’t do anything for you, prepare to leave. You have no future there if this continues. (Yes, I have been there, and yes, I did quit with nothing to go to. Being bullied at work is no damned fun.)

Don’t these fuckwits have documentation? Isn’t that part of the fuckwit-resisitant ISO 9000 / Six Sigma certification process? As in writing down the shit so that new and existing non-fuckwits can look things up?

I’ve been hired against the wishes of both the boss AND other employees (“Nothing personal, but since you started we’ve all had our hours cut back, and we’ve got families/mortgages to pay for.”), so the advice I offer is the same elsewhere in this thread:



Even if you end up working a crappy job elsewhere, it sounds like you’re being set up- and it’s harder to get another job if you were fired from your last one, than if you left over “professional differences”.

Your health and self-esteem will thank you no end…

I also say that you should leave. I understand that leaving without an assured job can sometimes be irresponsible, but it sure makes for some good motivation.

I had a roommate that never, ever stopped looking for the next, better-paying job.

He turned down offers left and right, some bad, some really good. He wasn’t hungry, so he let lots of good jobs slide because they didn’t fit into his “perfect scenario”. I guarantee you, had he lost his job and still needed to pay bills…his productivity would have quadrupled.

If you can work full time at your job, and also work full time at finding another one, do so. I find that my energy is best directed at one target, but that’s just me.

Life’s full of these little trade-offs. Suck it up.

Ah if only the real world were like that. Documentation is often either non-existent, incomplete, out of date, or ambiguous.
Have you ever walked into a job (other than something simple like flipping burgers), been given a book of documentation, and immediately became 100% efficient without ever having to ask anybody anything? In a complex field like this you simply can’t get everything from books. There are too many assumptions that nobody bothers to write down.

Actually the more I think about it, the more I think that some of this is poor managerial skills. After being given a bad review, I was given books of documentation that I had never seen before. Part of this is my manager covering his own deficiencies by putting the blame on me, at least on paper. I really think I may be his first new employee.



wipes tears off eyes

Thanks, cerberus, I needed a good laugh.

  1. ISO9000 and 6s are not compulsory, the OP didn’t say his company had either.
  2. A gynormous amount of US companies/people think of them as “another way to get sued”. They see “non conformities”, not as “chances for improvement” but as “penalties”.
  3. I’ve had enough jobs auditing ISO9000/14000 and EFQM to know that way too many companies which do have the certifications see them as “a ribbon” and not the extremely useful tool they can/should be. Too often the processes described in the procedures are related to the actual work processes only by the logo in the upper left corner.

Uf. Excuse me while I catch my breath, aaay!

My former turd of a boss (who finally got canned about 3 weeks ago) was a lot like this douche. “Don’t be afraid to ask questions! I’m here for you!” And then when I asked a question, he’d explain the answer to me like I was six years old. This was only one of his unredeeming qualities, but I digress. To break it down, cumrags who do this really just enjoy making other people feel small because it’s the only way they can feel like a big man. Your boss is telling you not to ask your co-workers questions because that would mean he’d miss out on an opportunity to belittle you.

I hope a better job comes your way, or he gets fired, or he gets testicular gangrene. The chances of the last are pretty slim, but one can dream.