A man walks into a talent agent's office...(Continue the story thread)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Help me continue the story. I will start it. (I am working on my own versoin of this story and need some help to add to it.)

A man walks into a talent agent’s office. The talent agent looks up from his desk and says, “What have you got?”

The man replies, “I’ve got this family, and we…”

The agent interrupts, “We don’t do no family acts. That shit wenet out when Full House ended. Get out.”

The man says, “Give us ten minutes. Let me show you what we have.”

The agent looks back at his desk, lights a cigarette, and mutters, “Ten minutes, better be good.”

The man opens the office door and in walks…
(Next)
Sgt Schwartz

2

Grandpa, who is dressed in a 1920’s style suit. While The Man plays a berlesque tune on a kazoo, Grandpa performs a strip-tease. Soon Grandpa is exposed in all his 90-year-old glory. He grasps his turkey-neck-looking penis with one hand and waves it. With his other hand he swings his loaded colostomy bag in a large circle, like a lariat.

In through the door walks…

3

Help me continue the story. I will start it. (I am working on my own versoin of this story and need some help to add to it.)

A man walks into a talent agent’s office. The talent agent looks up from his desk and says, “What have you got?”

The man replies, “I’ve got this family, and we…”

The agent interrupts, “We don’t do no family acts. That shit wenet out when Full House ended. Get out.”

The man says, “Give us ten minutes. Let me show you what we have.”

The agent looks back at his desk, lights a cigarette, and mutters, “Ten minutes, better be good.”

The man opens the office door and in walks…

Grandpa, who is dressed in a 1920’s style suit. While The Man plays a berlesque tune on a kazoo, Grandpa performs a strip-tease. Soon Grandpa is exposed in all his 90-year-old glory. He grasps his turkey-neck-looking penis with one hand and waves it. With his other hand he swings his loaded colostomy bag in a large circle, like a lariat.

In through the door walks…

**Cousin Sally, who is all of thirteen years old. With a boldness and swagger that belie her tender years, she drops to both knees in front of Grandpa. She grasps
his wizened manhood with a glans-purpling death grip and furiously shoves the business end into her mouth. She starts working the shaft in her hand while sucking the tip. With her free hand, she grabs the swinging colostomy bag and rips it wide open, festooning her in a fetid shower of secondhand All-Bran.

In through the door walks…**

4

… the agent’s wife, who’s naked except for a string of pearls and red spiked heels. She’s carrying a can of whipped cream, which she shakes well, then she spreads herself on the agent’s desk and proceeds to cover her genitals with whipped cream.

“You have GOT to be kidding me!” the agent screams. “If this thing ends with the words ‘The Aristocrats,’ I’m gonna kill somebody!”

“Relax, sweetie,” his wife coos, “I’m just trying to help these guys out. I caught their act last night, and I thought you’d like it. Now sit down, eat me and watch.”

“But why did you just cover your cooch with whipped cream?” the agent asks.

“I thought you’d like a little whipped cream on your pie! Now sit back and watch the show. And don’t spare the tongue, sweetie!”

The agent sits down, buries his face in whipped cream, then looks up just in time to see …

5

…Her Royal Highness the Duchess of Cornwall. He screams at the sight of her, buries his face in his colostomy bag, and jumps out the window. Camilla, enraged, demands to know where the nearest apothecary. The agent replies, “Ma’am, go to the roof and slid down the waterslide. Walk three blocks north and turn left and the glass windmill.” The fishermen sail through the. Peter shoots Blabbermouth with a harpoon gun. Jim Bob’s wife goes into labour. Alien space bats swoop down from Venus. How man shoes…

6

We seem to have synchronicity problems, Dr. Spock.

7

The agent opened his eyes.

There was no-one in the room, and everything looked completely normal. He shuddered, still under the emotional influence of the horrid vision he had just had. “Never again will I mix carrot juice and orange juice, even if the two colours are similar.”

He got up and went to freshen up in the ensuite washroon.

There was a knock on the door. “Not now… It’s three thirty in the morning!” He did not move to answer the door, but finished his wash, dried himself, and began to inspect his face in the mirror.

There was another knock.

8

The guys wife. She is everything a man could hope for. Tall, blonde, huge knockers. You gettin’ this? She’s wearing one of those teddy things. All parts fallin’ out in the right places. She grabs a tampon, lights the string on fire, and inserts it into her cooch. It stays there for a few seconds until the Man, (You remember the guy who started this whole thing.) Grabs her, flips her over and pulls out the bloody tampon. He holds her face at crotch height and as she begins blowin’ him, bottle rockets begin to shoot from her twat.

(Next…)

9

…they all die and no one ever speaks of it again.

10

Until…

THEY ARE RESURRECTED FROM THE DEAD!

At which point the dog shows up, and begins sniffing everyone’s crotches. They all paint their crotches with honey so that he will lick them as well. But he (the dog) gets a little overexcited and accidentally bites off grandpa’s penis, at which point…