I am 53. Single. Never wed. In my life there have only been two women I wanted to marry. I asked them both.
Perhaps had they been in separate rooms at the time things would have turned out differently.
Oddly enough, their reason for refusing me was the same. When I asked, each said they had something else to do first. I enquired what that might be and was told “… spend the rest of my life with someone else.”
So, how about the rest of you? Ever had a ‘no’ meet your bended knee? Or, conversely, ever reject a proposal?
In my experience, talking to friends or colleagues about this topic, it seems that women do most of the actual proposing, though it’s not as formal as the situation you describe. They generally suggest to the man that this is a possibility, or tell them it’s time to commit, or split up.
My ex-fiancée suggested I ask her (on the phone, since she was 2,400 miles away). I did, and she said yes. When she came for a visit, I proposed on my knee with a ring. She said yes again.
But then she changed her mind a couple of weeks later.
Oops, sorry, I didn’t actually respond to your question.
I rejected a few marriage proposals, oddly enough in the light of my previous post. Those occurred when I became widowed at the age of 37. Seems that youngish widows are appealing to men of chivalric spirit.
As a young woman, I accepted a marriage proposal when I was already engaged to someone else. In my defense, he had been living abroad for 2 years, and I had felt the epistolary relationship was cooling down.
I had two boyfriends hint very heavily that they might like to get married someday (this was before age 21). One I promptly broke up with (and developed a terror of marriage), the other I told that I couldn’t marry him, but we kept dating for a while after that.
DangerDad was smart enough not to drop the M-word hints until I was enough in love with him to handle it. Even then, I didn’t want to talk about it and told him he’d have to wait a while, which he did, and he was rewarded by getting me to the altar. If he’d brought it up any sooner, that wouldn’t have happened 'cause I would have been too far away, running.
I accepted the proposal at the time, but later repented of it. I was young(er) and dumb(er than I am now). I have no other excuse. I was very fond of the gentleman in question, but not enough to have married him. Good thing I realized that before we got married.
My most serious proposal was in the form of an acrostic. I’m not sure if that says something about my or something about my choice in men (which of course says something about me).
At any rate he never went through with it (might have been nice if he were divorced at the time). But he asked me to move in with him. Still waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I had a strange little hairy (but bald - go figure) man in the metro who asked me to marry him and make him beautiful babies. Yes, he used those words.
I was too stunned to say a thing, and just walked off in a daze at the next stop.
A couple of years after we’d been seeing each other, my (former) high school boyfriend proposed. We were hanging out, just as friends (I thought) when he popped the question. I sincerely thought he was joking, and I laughed.
I hurt his feelings, but I didn’t mean to. I mean, if we’d even been dating, and if I hadn’t been about to move in the next few weeks or if he’d given me some sort of signal that he was even interested…but no, I wouldn’t have married him anyway. Had he asked me a few years earlier, I might have, but that’s not legal in my state. Man, I felt bad about that laugh. Still do, although he’s forgiven me and finally married a couple of years ago.
