Definitely not. One is 50 +, and the other just turned 40.
I do think something is questionable that we can’t all be comfortable as ourselves, and must imbibe to be comfortable and chatty, etc.
But again, it’s my life and that’s yours. The only reason I complain is it infringes on the fun I might otherwise have with my coworkers. I’m sure they feel like I’m a party pooper, since I don’t drink much…they must feel like they can’t get comfortable around me, too. What’s to be done?
I read his original post carefully. I am certain he is genuinely puzzled and wanted answers, not ridicule.
He stated about drinking “something “social,” something for fun - that I can understand. But to depend on it? To need it? To be unable to do without it when one wants to have fun or enjoy oneself or one’s friends? This escapes my understanding…”
So it’s clear he is content with social drinking, but distrusts alcoholism.
Let me tell you about one friend of mine. He attended a prestigious University, married a wonderful girl and got a decent career. Then he became an alcoholic.
Now he has no job, is divorced and still drinks.
We have all tried to help, but, as Alcoholics Anonymous will tell you, the addict needs to want change before any strategy will work.
So I was indeed depressed by your flippant remark.
I have been “drunk” once in my life time, and I don’t even think it was that much, just a minor buzz after about five or six JELLO shots. I didn’t really enjoy it-it made me all woozy and drowsy and I felt overheated, like I had a fever.
My family though, at least on my dad’s side, lives to drink, despite the long history of alcoholism in the family. And everyone makes fun of me because I don’t like to, or because booze makes me feel down right awful. It’s really annoying.
My favorite post of the day. Thanks, Scumpup.
It’s not abusive by my definition. You don’t speak for me and you don’t define concepts for me either.
Hey, you’re the one who slagged people for getting intoxicated when you yourself get intoxicated. You choose to believe that getting “sloppy drunk” is by definition of abusive. Fine. You’re wrong but feel free to believe it no matter how wrong it is. Use to what you consider excess does not automatically constitute abuse.
Whoa, Scumpup. Don’t assume you can understand others’ motivations.
I was truly baffled by the “need,” as it seemed to me, for those close to me to drink.
If you consider my upbringing (in a Muslim country where drinking, although done, was strongly condemned and disparaged; amongst teetotaler relatives both here in the US and in the Muslim country I lived many years) and my experience in college (where I was drilled on all the harms of drinking and alcohol abuse so as to educate others on the harms of alcohol abuse), perhaps you may be able to understand why I found it hard to understand why others would want to drink or why they seem to need to drink.
I don’t feel superior to them - and I challenge you to point out where I have mentioned or implied any such thing.
I expect an apology. I hate it when people are quick to assume my motivations without confirming their assumptions - especially when, as in your case, they are wrong.
WRS/Thû
It ain’t what you want that makes you fat. It’s what you get.
I stand by my assessment of your OP. Next time, try putting quotes around fewer things, avoid words like crutch, and avoid making value judgements of the subjects and I might believe you were honestly curious.
Does this sound like a judgement-free statement?
How about this? You asked them, they answered you, you don’t believe them. It seems they liars as well as drinkers, according to you.
See above. They told you they don’t need it. You think they are lying and tellus (again) how they really are here and how you aren’t like that i.e. how superior you are to them.
Here, you ask people who do think of themselves as alcoholics to back up your assessment of your lying, drunk-ass family. The quote marks around “have fun” indicate that you think the fun isn’t real.
No, I read your OP carefully and I got exactly the message you wanted to send.
I’m one of those people who like a drink now and again but absolutely don’t need one to enjoy myself. For sixteen years I was married to a man who couldn’t face life without one. In college he wasn’t a heavy drinker…the occassional kegger, but he never had alcohol in his room, and I never saw his seriously wasted, except once.
I don’t know why he started drinking. I don’t think he is happy with his sober self…pretty much hates that person. Can’t cope with the responsibility of living his life, so he escapes, almost nightly, into a personality that he thinks is confident, talkative and attractive to others. In reality he becomes arrogant, paranoid, incoherent and indiscriminate in his sexual choices.
He, to this day, does not believe his abuse of alcohol has anything to do with losing his job (at least 3 times), getting divorced (twice), alienating his kids, or being friendless. It’s always someone else’s fault…the West Pointers, the blacks, the men-hating women, the rich. It’s never his fault, and the alcohol isn’t to blame either.
Right.
Probably from entering college until halfway through gradschool (ages 18-27) I’d get seriously totally fuckin’ shit-faced 2-3 times a week. Pass out, fall down, wake up in weird places, urinate in public, hear embarassing stories about myself.
It was a fuckin’ blast. I met tons of girls, played tons of pool, had tons of laughs.
Finally, when I met my wife, I was like, “maybe I better take it down a notch”.
Now, I pretty much drink every day but just beer or wine or a whisky.
When I get together in a social situation, I drink more, and I expect the people I’m with to be drinking, and I tend to keep away from people who don’t drink. Drinking is fun. People get talkative, lose some inhibitions, get loud, get open. It’s fun.
There can be fun to had when you’re not drinking (like if you go hiking, bike riding, playing in a chess tournament, going to the movies) but if you CAN drink in a situation, why wouldn’t you?
I also LOVE the taste of alcohol.
I also like to sneak a beer into the movies.
The real question is: when something gives you pleasure, why wouldn’t you seek out every opportunity to indulge in it.
My bookclub has been meeting for ten (going on eleven!) years. For the first seven or so, it was about ten women drinking tea and eating decedant desserts while talking about anything and everything (and occationally the book). About three years ago someone opened a bottle of wine. Not everyone drinks - and we don’t drink at every bookclub. Ten women go through maybe a bottle and a half of wine, and stop drinking in plenty of time to go home - so it isn’t like we are getting smashed.
But when the wine is out and most people are drinking, the conversation flows easier. We seem to be wittier (or we think we are). It helps us relax and transition into “girl mode” from - what is for most of us “working mom and wife” mode. It isn’t that its “more fun” with wine - because I love my girlfriends and my bookclub and we manage to have fun completely sober digging out gardens, but the wine does make it different - in a good way.
Giraffe’s post sums it all up nicely.
But…the NEED to drink. Don’t understand that either. If there is no wine at bookclub, I stay and have a great time. Sometimes, when I host, I don’t have a bottle in the house - it isn’t that important to me.
I can’t stand getting very drunk, but I do enjoy occasional moderate drinking; for me, the line between drunk and having a great time and vomiting in the gutter, wishing I was dead is vanishingly thin, so I make sure that I never ever get stupidly drunk any more - been there, done it, don’t like it.
But I do find that a moderate intake of alcohol can help me relax, can oil the social situation and can in some cases be actually mentally stimulating (hard to believe perhaps, but if you’re writing comedy sketches, for example, priming your brain with a little alcohol can actually put you in a state of mind where you explore productive avenues you would summarily dismiss when completely sober as well as make connections that simply wouldn’t occur otherwise).
I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve suddenly clicked the solution to a perplexing problem upon imbibing a flagon or two of foaming ale, so for me, alcohol, in sensible, occasional moderation, is a genuinely useful and enjoyable stimulant which I wouldn’t care to do without.
Someone will no doubt nitpick me and say that it isn’t a stimulant, but a depressant; that may be strictly the case, but the human brain is a complex hunk ‘o’ meat and depressing one part of the system slightly may allow another part to sparkle in a way functionally equivalent to stimulation.
From what I understand, alchohol depresses your inhibitions - that part of your brain that tells you “I wouldn’t do that shit if I were you”.
Trunk might be taking it up a notch, but he has the basic idea. It’s fun to get together with some good friends, some booze and get into harmless trouble. Generally we like to stay in “the window”. Basically where you are drunk enough to have a good time but not so drunk that you are sick or sloppy or disgusting to women.
I don’t know if it’s a crutch but when you’re in your 20s, pretty much your entire social life revolves around alchohol:
Weds (the new Thursday) - Only the truly committed partiers. Less office happy hours or kids out
Thurs - office happy hour time. In college, it was off campus or underground illegal frat party night.
Fri - Maybe a few drinks after work or class. Hit some bars or someones party or whatever. Drive to your shore or ski house. Generally trying to keep things low key to save up for Sat.
Sat - The main event. Nap after football tailgates or the beach or skiiing or whatever to go to the club or party you’ve been waiting all day to go to.
Sun - Cleanup/hangover recovery day. Perhaps a few beers while helping your pall clean his house so his parents don’t ground him.
Mon - Mon night football and beers.
and so on…
there’s - The Roadtrip. You and your friends are like Magellen or Columbus - exploring the frontier of partying. Venturing into uncharted lands where you don’t have to worry about the consequences of your actions. Where that girl you hook up with won’t be all hanging around and shit the next day making things awkward.
and of course the ultimate roadtrip - Spring Break - a week of drinking and debauchery with just you and a dozen of your friends in some sunny paradise.
of course now that I’m older, I don’t go on roadtrips. I go on what my girlfriend calls “mancations” (man - vacations). Basically, a bunch of us fly to a place like Vegas, New Orleans, Montral, Amsterdam or Brazil and go apeshit for a long weekend to a week.
Now the question is “do you need alchohol to have fun”? No…but everything is certainly more fun with alchohol.
Alcohol makes me really, extremely horny. It can be a lot of fun.
I stand to be corrected, but I believe alcohol is described as a depressant because it depresses your central nervous system (as opposed to drugs which stimulate the nervous system). It’s doesn’t make one depressed in the psychological sense of the word.
To me, describing the appeal of drinking is as difficult as describing the appeal of music, with the added frustration of some tetotalers seeing only alcoholism and dependency. If you haven’t given drinking a real good shot, you’ll probably never be convinced why people enjoy boozing.
On the other hand, don’t give drinking 5 shots like our last office happy hour. It makes for a rough friday.
First, I must thank everyone who has posted so far. I have learned a lot about the role of alcohol in one’s social life, and can now understand (and appreciate) better the drinking habits of those close to me. It is less of a mystery to me now - but as someone posted, it will never be completely understandable until it’s something I involve myself with (which applies to many, many activities and issues in a similar manner). What strikes me that drinking is not only about drinking itself - although alcohol’s affects do seem, nonetheless, to play a significant role - but involves social aspects as well: alcohol and sociality are intrinsically connected for those who drink socially (even if may seem excessive). I also understand from what’s been posted that it may also be an age-related behavior.
Scumpup - I continue to disagree with your interpretation of my intentions. I was going to respond to you, point-by-point, in the Pit, but it’s not worth my time or energy. You have the right to be wrong: let us simply agree to disagree. 
(This particular issue is now closed, as far as I am concerned.)
Of course, the more answers one receives, the more questions one forms. I will do some research now regarding what alcohol is, how it affects the body, why it affects the body the way it does, its affect on health (for better and for worse), etc. As something that is so prevalent throughout the world (even in areas that are supposed to be dry), it merits being understood well.
WRS/Thû - curiouser and curiouser We become.
Ah, drunken lucidity: I’m with you on that on, Mangetout.
I left home and the country at 17. I travelled for almost 5 years. I was pissed more times then I can remember. Why? Cause it was bloody good fun!
I understand that some people find being drunk truly awful. For me as a young thing travelling it was very cool. I puked in many places. I passed out more then once. It was always fun! Yes i probably found myself in situations I could have lived without but it was all part of the experience.
I still enjoy the odd pissed occasion. Once I know the child is elsewhere for the night and I am enjoying the place/time/people I will get pissed if the mood strikes.
Why?? One reason and one reason only. Because it is fun. I’m 38 now. Once or twice a year it is fun to pretend I’m not.
I have never indulged in illegal drugs so booze is my drug of choice. As long as it isn’t a regular thing I can’t see the harm in a little mind altering moment…specialy if it is fun!
Roll on NY eve