The events described took place from 2100 hours on May 19th to 0500 hours on May 20th.
I get to the first bar at around 2145 hours. Looks like a college bar with no TVs. I walk by.
I go to the bar I went last time. Ian isn’t there. It turns out that young women in bars seem to be loud and fond of their cell phones.
The TVs show a hockey match. Too bad. I order a zombie. Bartender doesn’t know how to make one. We improvise one.
There is a guy sitting across from me who orders a glass of wine and looks at the TVs. Through my time there, I never see him looking my way. Guess he really does want to watch TV alone in a bar while drinking a glass of wine. Or at least he doesn’t want anyone around to get closer.
I half listen to the man and woman, apparently on a date, one chair from me. The conversation (which is mainly hers) does not capture my interest.
I leave, slightly pissed that a badly made zombie cost me 12$ + a 2$ tip.
I see a nightclub and decide to go in. I go to the basement and see one high heeled shoe on the wooden floor. Strange.
The decor is a mix of Far East elements, modern and general warmish colors. I see one area where people are paying to get in. It seems to be a dancing floor. I go up to the ground floor and see people dancing. Now quite sure why people pay downstairs. I’m too cheap to pay just to find out since it’s likely just more dancing anyway. I exit.
I walk some more to another bar which seems populated by college kids. Nearly everyone is sitting and having conversations. I am surprised people can have conversations with this much noise. I cannot find an elevated spot which would allow me to survey the room and take a broad sample of the body language used (since I cannot hope to follow conversations, given the noise level). I leave.
I go to the first bar I passed up earlier. Again, nearly all college kids. I see two guys with their glasses finished sitting outside in couches made of rice bags. I ask if it’s stable as an opener. They reply and we have a short exchange about the couch. They seem friendly but leave shortly. I wanted to ask them what they studied.
I try to listen to the conversation going on right behind me. The various conversations I’ve heard in the different bars have made me realize that bars, especially filled with students, may not be a good place to find original and interesting conversation.
I see an attractive woman who sits in an area about 4 meters away from me with no one else around. She is dressed neatly enough to make a business presentation. She fiddles with her phone.
I wish I didn’t have anxiety and would just go up to her. She still fiddles with her phone for several minutes, looking down the whole time. It occurs to me that “fiddling with your phone with your head always down” might be the modern equivalent of the bitch barrier and that she likely doesn’t want to be approached. I leave around 0030 hours.
I’m back home at around 0100 hours. I see my downstairs neighbour with two friends on a couch they dragged outside and put in front of the apartment block. They seem both drunk and high. After we exchange a bit, I am presented to Nicholas and Mike. I cannot remember my neighbour’s name. He asks me if I’m on Facebook, which I take to be an indirect way to ask me if he can add me. I taste of bit of his cigar. I find out that I still don’t like cigars.
He asks me about the student strike and I give a non-opinion. I ask him what he thinks to redirect and it becomes clear that he asked me what I thought because he really wanted to go on himself. I agree with him where I can honestly say that I do. It takes a bit of effort. He asks me what I think of his opinion. I ask myself why he wants me to give my opinion of his opinion.
He openly picks his nose.
They mention a movie and I’m invited to see it. It’s a bootlegged copy of Battleship which I’m curious about seeing. I go in. See 3 cats. Throughout the evening, it’s clear he loves them. He offers me something to drink or eat. I remember the nose picking and go with something that involves the least physical contact between what he touches and what touches my lips.
Throughout the evening, he compares women and cats; how they’re independent, do what they want, when you show attention they pull away and when you pull away they come back. He makes many comments through the evening which betray bitterness. He uses the word “femelle” to refer ambiguously either to female humans or female cats. In English, “female” can have a zoological meaning or an official meaning (that is, you’d likely see it on a form, the same way you’d see “causasian”). In French, there is only a zoological meaning. His phone wallpaper is a woman in lingerie. His PS3 wallpaper is a naked woman. The repeated bitter statements about women, uses of the word “femelle” and prominently displayed women with few/no clothes unnerve me. I would not stay here if I were a woman and if a woman were here, I would be wary of leaving her alone with those 3.
Yet, he very seldom uses vulgar terms to refer to sex. He most often uses the term “make love” rather than alternatives. He seems wounded more than genuinely threatening.
He remarks on my legs being crossed and how that means I’m uncomfortable. I take note of that for the future and uncross my legs.
Through the evening, he asks several time if I want pot. I explain that as a lawyer, I will not smoke pot but it doesn’t bother me if they do. I have to say this several times.
He goes on about politics, love, how we’re all made from carbon and that even after we die, we will eventually be remade. How everything around us is living in a way. He is high. I try to politely nod but I am not convincing.
He is also rather rough when he’s friendly. Not offensively so. I guess it’s his way to show affection and the drugs and alcohol have lowered his inhibitions. He teases me a bit and nudges me. This makes me more uncomfortable and withdrawn than I already am. He means no harm though. Once, he gets killed in a game and goes to punch the couch. He gets my thigh instead, which doesn’t hurt and is little bother to me. He’s apologetic about it.
Toward the end of the movie, at around 0330 hours, he asks if I’ll stay for some gaming and I say I’m tired (the two other guys are sleeping next to us). He suggests that I’m only staying out of politeness. I honestly say that I’m staying because I want to finish the movie. After the movie, around 0400 hours, I stay a bit to watch him play because I want to know how a game has been updated. I enjoy this and eventually take his offer to play myself. I end up playing it until around 0500 hours. As I leave, he tells me goodbye in a friendly voice.
Thus the evening ends.
SUMMARY: I am not fond of people expounding on their particular view of politics, life etc when that view is lacking in knowledge/reflection, especially if they’re affected by drugs or alcohol. I have a difficult time faking that interest and little inclination to discuss such topics in that situation, even if those topics can very much interest me with other people. A large part of having a good time socially is finding people I’m compatible with. In my case, that likely means intellectually compatible with, at least if they want to discuss some topics with me.
I can still have a good time with people I’m not intellectually compatible with but it’s not going to be a major friendship.
I am not comfortable with people who get physical quickly. It causes me to pull back and become stiff(er).
