I sometimes find myself doing just that–and, granted, doing some dangerous and out there things. But I often meet people who think that the idea of a girl going to a bar all alone in and of itself is an out there or strange notion.
To be clear, I do go out with friends, but sometimes when they’re not alone and I just want to go out and well…meet guys, I go out on my own. I live in Manhattan and there’s bars on pretty much every block around me, so it’s not like I’m traveling a great distance or driving drunk or anything crazy like that.
I do, every so often. Usually to a bar right around the corner. Never had any problems. My guyfriends find it amusing for some reason and most of my girlfriends think I’m strange, except for the ones that do it themselves.
No way. If I happen to find myself in a bar alone, I always feel very conspicuous and self-conscious, like people are thinking I must be an alcoholic or desperate to get laid. I don’t think that of women that I see at the bar presumably alone, but I sure do feel like people would think of me like that. If I lived in such a large and anonymous city as New York, I might feel differently.
Definitely used to be that way–in fact, the idea of going into a bar gave me hives, conniptions, etc. I finally got over it and do it fairly regularly, but it really freaked me out initially.
Like others, I’m not into the bar scene and so wouldn’t even go with friends, let alone by myself.
If I were inclined to go to bars - I doubt I would feel comfortable going alone. I am very comfortable doing ‘social’ things alone (movies, plays, sports events etc) but I also feel - like Alice the Goon - that some people would look at me alone in a bar and assume I was there to get myself laid or that I was a sad little barfly(ette?).
I think it’s an introverted/extroverted thing. I’m very shy, and wouldn’t think of going to a bar alone except to meet someone (someone I already know, that is) and I have friends that are extroverted that do it without a thought.
Sure. When I lived in NJ and PA I’d head to my regular hang outs if no friends were around. Nowadays my husband will usually accompany me, but I’ve gone alone a few times when he’s not in the mood. Or every so often I’ll just pop into one of the bars downtown for a drink after work and to see who might be hanging out, if there is a band playing, etc.
Most of the concerts or shows that I attend I do alone since we don’t have similar tastes.
I always make a new friend or two and have a great time.
How else do you expect me to get dinner here? Bilbao’s bars (disregard my location) are a great resource for dinner. Tapas dinner = yum.
OK, so Spain’s notion of a bar isn’t necessarily the same as the US… but yeah, often when I’m staying in hotels I’ll go out to dinner and choose a bar-with-food type place over a restaurant. This applies to any country I’m in.
What I don’t do is go drinking on my own, and wouldn’t do it even if I did drink alcohol more than once a year.
This pretty much is how I feel about it.
I used to do it a lot more as a single (meeting guys, etc) 25 years ago (I’m 53 now, been happily married a long time.)
However, I took a trip (solo) to San Francisco a couple months ago, and wanted to have a drink at the beautiful bar at the Palace, and that’s what I did.
But these days, for me, it’s not a night of drinking or anything like that–just one or two drinks, and then I leave. Usually I have something to eat. Sometimes I talk to others, sometimes not. I don’t really think of myself as an extrovert, but I’m not exactly unapproachable.
I go to movies and other things alone all the time. If I had to worry about what others thought of this, I’d be cocooning more than I care to. I would think that Manhattan is a (relatively) safe and stimulating environment for a single woman.
I’ve done it, but only to bars where I already know somebody. (Usually the bartender, or maybe other regulars.)
Drinking is a social activity for me, so it generally wouldn’t cross my mind to do it unless I was meeting friends. However if I were traveling or something, I’m sure I’d find myself alone at a bar–just to explore the local scene and get out of my hotel room if nothing else–and I’d have no problem with it.
I wouldn’t go into a really “divey” or crowded bar by myself…but a quiet neighborhood bar? or the hotel bar? Totally.
And as a bartender, I can tell ya that lots of women go to bars alone at night. Most of them aren’t looking to hook up. They’re just going out for a cocktail or two, the same way guys do. Some of them actively enjoy the silence, and don’t want to be bothered by talking to anyone. Other ones are quite happy to chat with whoever is nearby; I’ve seen people make friends with strangers at my bar and end up talking til closing time. (And by “make friends” i mean it’s obvious there’s no sexual chemistry between them.)
It’s no more dangerous or odd, IMHO, than going anywhere else as a woman by yourself. If anyone bothers you, you can tell the bartender; I’ve run interference like this for women at my bar and I consider it part of my job.
Pretty much what the last three paragraphs of what Audrey Levins said. I don’t mind going to a bar by myself, any more than I mind going anywhere else by myself.
I am not into the bar scene at all… though that being said… Normally I wouldn’t have a problem going to some place alone. I am a very trusting person when I probably shouldn’t be in certain situations.
A month or so ago, I went on a second date with a guy and at the end of the date when he asked to see me again, I told him I wasn’t interested. He ended up back handing me and holding me against the wall by my throat. Where the hell do I find or attract these guys I don’t know… but after the incident… I am leary of going any where without there being someone there I know… and if I do happen to go out on a date… I let my BFF know where I am going, and with who…
So I don’t see myself going into a bar alone… Not any time soon anyways.
I wouldn’t know what to do with myself alone in a bar. I would probably end up liking it too much and become the neighbor drunk.
The mood I’m in lately, I would loathe being chatted up/sized up/felt up/stood up, so the whole bar/dating/meeting someone there is not for me right now. (of course, I’m still nominally married with 3 kids at home, so what I would do with anyone I had met is a moot point).
I could see just going in and having a drink and being by myself. But I see in me mind’s eye myself getting plowed and either lighting myself on fire or howling to the moon, so perhaps best not (for me).
ETA: Jesus, Brken! Stay safe.
I had a female housemate in college who went to bars alone frequently. We couldn’t afford cable and she was a sports nut, so she’d sit at the bar to watch the game on their TV. As far as I know she never had a problem with creepy guys or anything.