I don’t drink so I spend very little time in bars, but if I did I wouldn’t have a problem going alone. I do things by myself all the time. I am perfectly comfortable with myself and I have no problem doing things without my friends.
Sometimes, I think I have zero game, then I hear about something like this and feel a lot better.
Sorry to hear that, BB - I promise most of us have no interest in throat-holding.
I tend not to because I get bored at bars very, very, very quickly. If I’m at a movie on my own, I’m there to watch the movie. If I’m at a restaurant on my own, I’m there for dinner. But if I’m at a bar on my own, I’m there to ____________? I’ve got no idea.
To me, just drinking on its own is boring. And at $10/drink, that’s a really expensive kind of boredom.
There are a couple of bars in town that I’d definitely go to by myself. A bar I didn’t already know, I wouldn’t be likely to go to on my own. Generally, though, when I go out drinking, it’s to hang out with friends and/or my husband, so the thought of going solo doesn’t appeal. I’d be much more likely to go to a coffee shop by myself, if I just wanted to get out of the house.
I would and I have, but only to some of my local bars, where I’m sure to meet someone I know there sooner or later. I like doing things on my own, but I wouldn’t go to a bar by myself with the intention of getting drunk or picking up. I go out on my own (not just to bars), when I’m getting stir crazy at home, if I’m struck by a fairly rare urge to meet new people, or if all my friends are out with their SOs and I still want to go out and have fun.
I did for a while after my marriage first collapsed. I found myself alone and having very few friends nearby who I could spend time with, so I started going to a local pub on Friday and Saturday nights to meet people. Being a regular meant the staff got to know me, and after a while I felt like security were keeping an eye out for me which made me feel safer. One of the bouncers introduced me to his wife so we could hang out together one night; another introduced me to two of his (female) friends and I spent most of the evening talking to them.
Ah, I don’t really run into this problem, since I generally only pay for the first drink.
But what do you do when you are desparate to get laid?
Were I attractive enough for that to be true, I might have a different opinion on the price of the boredom.
As it is, it’s cheaper to drink at home. Plus, I can do something while drunk. (Nothing involving power tools, obviously. But something)
I used to go to bars alone when I was single. Sometimes I was looking to meet guys (though I never met anyone I wanted to know in the longterm), and sometimes I just wanted a quiet drink but didn’t feel like huddling up in my room with booze.
Yeah, I actually feel weirder about having a drink when I’m by myself at home. I don’t mind people-watching at a bar, and chatting with whoever is willing to chat with me. I usually only have one drink anyway - I’m a bit of a lightweight, so I tend to drink slowly unless I’m deliberately trying to get drunk.
Exactly. I wanted to add that I do plenty of things on my own and I have no trouble with that. But what are you supposed to do in a bar besides spend money on overpriced alcohol?
i’m rather solitary. i would not go to a bar by myself. a restaurant with a bar, yes; tap (only drinking) room, no.
I’ve gone to a bars by myself when there were bands playing that I wanted to see. It’s always been fun.
I have in the past, but not recently.
Usually it was because the people I knew didn’t want to go out so I went to familiar haunts and hung out with the regulars or on my own. A couple of times I was there alone because I was ditched after buying a pitcher to share (they SAID they were on their way) and I wasn’t going to just leave it.
The times I did go on my own to places I didn’t really hang out I always felt awkward and ended up creeped out. Would have guys buy me drinks while I was just trying to have a beer and play some of the games on the MAXX machine at the bar (which is about the only thing I do when I go alone…).
Just never found it that interesting though and I drink less now than I did, so I never really go to the bar alone anymore.
ETA: If a band is playing that I want to see though, that is different. You’re there for the band and maybe drink not just hang out and drink so I have no problem going alone then.
Too bad it’s rare there is a band I want to see anywhere.
I own a bar in Houston and there are single women in and out of the place all night. Don’t seem to be “desperate” or “barflies” either. Most just want a place to relax after a day in the office, surprise!, just like the men. It may be different in your local low-rent sports bars/beer joints. YMMV.
Mind saying which bar?
I have gone out alone before, it really just depends on the situation. I don’t do it when I’m in a committed relationship generally but I have never gone alone and ended up going home with anyone either. I will only go to a bar alone where I can either sing or dance. I would be phenomenally bored otherwise, as I am not a cheap drunk so the cost of going somewhere to get drunk can be prohibitively expensive and I don’t drink and drive anyway. I’ve been to bars alone in both Atlanta and Houston but I now live in a much smaller town - I don’t know that I would go alone to a bar here actually. I would feel weird running into someone I went to high school with or something if I were sitting around by myself.
Yeppers. I never go out to get picked up though; in my neighborhood there’s no shortage of gay bars, which makes that easier. Seriously, I bring a book and read. Sometimes it’s just nice to get out of the house, you know? (Although I did meet my very definitely hetero boyfriend at a gay bar. Go figure. And he almost had to beat me over the head with a hard cover copy of Vaccine before I figured out he was seriously interested.)
Also, I’m not super chatty but since I tend to go to the same two or three places and stand out among the clientele (sometimes just by being female) I make acquaintances - and have made a few real friends - among bar employees and regulars. So it doesn’t seem quite so much like going out alone.
Yeah, but it’s not really something you can advertise.
“Hey, go out with me. I won’t assault you when you turn me down for a third date!”
No. I’m anti-social enough when I’m out with friends, don’t drink much alone and I tend not to pick up guys at bars, so what’s the point? I have dined alone, but always with something to read or write.