A Panel of Experts Solves All the Worlds Woes!

[Nen]

Tymp, aren’t you forgetting:
[ul]
[li]The Culinary School Student[/li][li]The Grammar Harpy[/li][li]Silent Bob[/li][li]The Pro Wrestler[/li][li]The Intergalactic Muffin[/li][li]The Hindenburg Announcer Guy[/li][li]The Kiwi Bloke[/li][li]The Canadian[/li][li]The Nudist[/li][li]The Medieval Re-Enactor[/li][li]Fonzie[/li][li]The Felcher[/li][li]Torgo[/li][li]The Kid Who Doesn’t Know Much of Anything[/li][li]The Modeler/Projectionist[/li][li]The Hired Killer[/li][li]The Artist[/li][li]The Teenager[/li][/ul]

[Tymp]

Nen,

Thanks for keeping the record straight. Actually, some of the candidates you have mentioned do not yet qualify as experts according to the OP. Garfield226, The Teenager, has been formally recognized by the panel and has opined expertly in this thread. Also, I have extended invitations to all qualifying experts with the apology in my last post when I said,

The Clerk now extends formal apologies to any qualified expert who has not received an official invitation to join the panel.

Originally, I had intended this to be just a Great Debates thing, thus limiting the number of experts. I now see how my foolishness could easily be interpreted as an invitation to any Tom, Dick, or Harry who has maintained an “Ask the ____” thread anywhere on the SDMB. Rather than correcting this, we’re just going to pretend that I meant it to be this way all along.

Thank you, kind Nen, for pointing out the shortcomings of this thread for which I have already apologized. Your efforts have earned you the right to be summarily poked in the eye.

[Nen]

Your efforts have earned you the right to be summarily poked in the eye.

Wow, and I didn’t even start an “Ask the…” thread. I feel so privileged.

[Tymp]

Yeah. Sorry about that, Nen. I’ve just been dishing out summary eye pokings left and right. It’s been that kind of day. Be glad that you are the recipient of a virtual eye poking and pity the poor souls who are trapped here in the office with me.

[David_B]

Tymp said:

The panel will not formally recognize any moderators, administrators, or other divine beings out of fear that they take offense to the insinuation that their participation requires some sort of approval from the likes of us.

Good choice.

[tomndebb]

I now see how my foolishness could easily be interpreted as an invitation to any Tom

And I can assure you that if I see fit to honor you with my presence, I shall.

[dpr]

What!?!?! No Australian representation?

I feel awash and alone now…

And that I can’t contribute until I’ve received an official invitation.

[dpr]

Oh forget waiting.

I hearby claim membership of the ATEP (Ask the Expert Panel) by stint of my ‘Mate, Ask the Aussie’ thread. I hope this meets with everyone’s approval.

**

1. Coke vs. Pepsi.
2. Individual freedoms vs. an individual’s social responsibilities for the propagation of the species as they relate to the legal status of abortion procedures in the United States.
3. Is brown, in fact, the new black?
4. Church and State: A hard separation vs. a little bit of mingling.
5. Crepes: Fruit vs. Meat
6. Equal marriage rights for same sex couples vs. the preservation of the institution of marriage as a means of procreation.
7. My dad vs. your dad.
8. Whatever else the panel deems important.
   Help us, please!

**

1. Pepsi has less fizz than Coke. Some would say this is a disdvantage. I would not. Pepsi Down Under (and besides which, down here we have a cool marketing name: Pepsi Max (sugar free). How cool is that name? And it works too - they’ve got guys buying it)

2. I’ve already commented on this at length when I first came on board. I’ll spare youthe repitition.

3. Is brown, in fact, the new black?
   No. Brown sucks as a colour. Always has. Always will. The only guy who looks good in brown is Indiana Jones.

4. While the state should always take into account the feelings and views of its populace, the church should remain distinctly seperate from the governing legal body. Look at history and the countless examples of major abuse perpetrated by the church on its constituents. The hypocrisy of organised religion is staggering. Based on past transgressions they should be banned from dabbling in government procedure for Buzz Lightyear (to infinity and beyond).

5. Crepes: meat or fruit
   See my dissertions on individual right of expression.

6. The use of the word ‘preservation’ implies narrowmindedness in itself but one would hope that people would accept marriage for what it is: a public declaration of love for another human being to the extent that you’re willing to share legal responsibilities as well as bodily fluids (optional of course). The so-called ‘institution of marriage’ is already struggling - de facto relationships offer the same rights and in some places more benefits.
   On a side note: today’s Australian papers have reported a significant point on the subject in this country (Oz). Following recent high court rulings, a constitutional expert claims our constitution would support same-sex marriages pointing to the generalities of the document combined with the anti-discrimination laws in place.

7. My Dad vs Your Dad
   Well I wouldn’t swap my dad for quids. Highly intelligent, quiet with a scathing dry sense of humour, he may not be able to match yours physically but he’d reduce them to either a lump of tears or a confused state. Tolerant, insightful, passionate, well-read, caring, funny… he’s perfect.

8.Other things to be floated to the panel?
I’d like to put forward: the changing of the social climate form a gender perspective; the possibility of true world peace; the questioning of why people are so selfish; wouldn’t it be cool to travel in space; why are so many americans seemingly xenophobic, and; the proposition that insecurities are the root of most of our personal decisions.

[oldscratch]

From DavidB:**
Coke. Anybody who says otherwise is a communist.

**
I resent that. Communists are staunchly pro-coke. It’s all red. Can’t you see. Pepsi however has the imperialist colors of AmeriKKKa on it. How dare you lump us Communists in with those counter-revolutionary Pepsi drinkers. (If we had better html code I would have put a little swastika in where the Pepsi ‘s’ is )

Also from DavidB on crepes**
Fruit. Anybody who says otherwise is fruity.

**
Considering that the only person who liked meat was the gay guy, you are absolutely correct.

[Doobieous]

I resent that. Communists are staunchly pro-coke. It’s all red.

My mom says i’m not allowed to play with commies. Sorry, oldscratch ;).

[Tymp]

Your mother is a wise woman, Doobieus. She obviously knows that when you ask to get back the toys that the commies borrowed, they’ll just call you names and criticize you for being a toy-grubbing materialist. They will also pee in your sandbox.

[dpr]

But it’s not HIS sandbox, it’s everyone’s. And they have a social obligation to share the toys amongst all the children. Which is why th eleaders of the USSR never had advantages or nicer cars or big offices or extra money or stuff like that.

And I bet they got THEIR coca-cola (red and special communist calories edition).

[Olentzero]

I am not now, nor have I ever been, a sandbox-wetter.

[iampunha]

PLG said:

“The stance of the Church is that abortion is WRONG. However, if a woman feel she must have an abortion, she is encouraged to discuss it with her Bishop,fast, pray, and seek personal revelation. If it’s a case of incest or rape,especially incest, I have heard some women are basically given the OK by the church.”

The part of this that surprises me is the bit about fasting . . . never in my almost 19 years of life have I heard anyone recommend fasting to someone who is pregnant . . .

Carry on.