Well I’m a big fan of “Guy Noir: Private Eye” (particularly when it was a laboratory for rhyming linguistic games!) and those defunct “Cafe Boeuf” skits where Maurice would go on his demented-frog tirades. But as the kids say, “it’s all good”.
The best Wobegone tale was from Halloween around 1991 or so when Keillor told hometown ghost stories (which were actually pretty scary: murder-suicides and people who were buried alive etc.).
I still listen when I can, which isn’t much. It runs on the weekend and I usually miss it.
My fave was the way that you make friends with celebrities. Keeler goes on to reverse it so that the celebrity, so starved for normal companionship and the things we take for granted, begins to basically stalk the ordinary guy (waking him up at 5 AM to paint the house, showing up at family gatherings) and the ordinary guy finally getting spooked to take out restraining orders against the celebrity. Picture any celebrity stalking you to try to go ordinary things with you all the time.
Absolutely hilarious
Tyler Durden: You are not your job. You are not the money in your bank account. You are not the car you drive. You are not how much money is in your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis. You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.
Just seems as if I can’t catch the show on the radio - buy the tapes instead, still laugh out loud even if I’ve played them 10 times before.
I like rotten apples and the neighbor’s window, the whole series: “Local Man Moves to the City” - Thoreau on the subway, blue plastic and the hot tub in CO.
I met the man at a book signing (his book, that is). Very nice, very friendly. He must have signed 3000 books that night, and was as kind to the first person as the last.
I like the one about the Lutheran minister convention where the boat sinks. “Help…help.” Pee my pants every time I hear it.
Another good one is where the minister decides it’s a good idea to assign the prayers in the service, and the guy with the cracky voice gets first draw.
I come from a very Lutheran family, so I really appreciate the stories making fun of Lutheran quirks.
I don’t get to listen to the show very much, but I have a CD with some of his skits on it.
One of my favourites is one called “Tomato Butt”.
The young hero, tired of picking tomatoes, starts throwing them at his brothers. Then, right when he’s about to throw a ripe tomato at his sister, his mother says “stop that!”. The hero hesitates and throws it anyway. The sister runs after and catches him, and she’s about to pound him in the ground when the mother says “put your brother down and go back to picking tomatoes.” The sister, being a good person, puts him down and they go back to work.
The motto:
“We both knew that the satisfaction of obeying your mother is nothing like the pleasure of throwing a ripe tomato and hitting your sister right in the butt! Nothing like it.”
Phobia: Linus plinking out a tune? Schroeder is the musician! Linus’ talent lies in sand castles, soap carving, and sanctimony. The scene you’re referring to had Lucy asking Schroeder to play “Jingle Bells”. Of course, his ten-key toy piano with the black keys painted on is fully capable of playing like a concert Steinway or a stop organ when the occasion demands, but Lucy isn’t satisfied until Schroeder plays it one-fingered and tinny.
Now over in the corner with you, and start cutting out those pumpkin cards!
Remember, I’m pulling for you; we’re all in this together.
—Red Green
I used to listen to TPHC when I was driving around on a Saturday afternoon. One time he related a story about a man who let the dog out on a frosty night. Later, he decided he’d better let the dog back in, and it wouldn’t come when he called. He went outside (dressed only in a shirt – it was dark and he’s gotten out of bed for this mission) to see if the dog was okay, and noticed that the outside faucet had been left running. As he reached over to turn the faucet off, the dog “sniffed” him. He cracked his head on the faucet, knocking himself out.
I started laughing so hard I had to pull over and stop until I could compose myself. I really wish I could find recordings of that show.
I’ve never heard the recording but that is wonderful…I can see why you’d have to pull over to the side of the road and wonder only that another 50,000 didn’t pull over right behind you.