This morning, at our daily “Team Huddle”, one of the managers at the store I work at was explaining why we all need to ask our “guests” if they would like to apply for a Target Visa. I hear a variant of this speech every morning that I work, but said manager is new to our store and I figured I would see if he had a new spin on the idea. Here’s what he said, as close as I can remember it.
M: “…Another benefit of the Target Visa to remind our guests of is that we will donate 1% of their purchases to a K-12 school of their choice. Every year, we give millions of dollars to these schools. Does anyone know what the most donated to school is?”
(Indifferent silence follows for a few seconds. I should add that this is a real program and it is quite successful. Now on to the answer to the question. I know, you’re on the edge of your seat.)
M: “The most-donated-to school is Columbine High School.”
I started lauging. What the fuck is that. Is the segment of the shopping public that uses our Visa that ignorant to the state of public education in their own states that they all feel it necessary to donate this money to a fucking school full of rich kids? I was shocked. Shit, I live in Michigan, where we spend piss-loads of money on education. I still realize that Detroit Public or Kalamazoo Public or Grand Rapids Public schools could use this money a fuck-load more than fucking Columbine High School.
Except that it won’t get as much media coverage because a shooting spree at a run-down inner city school isn’t “shocking” or “a blow to innocence.” Black people are supposed to kill each other, duh! And if it were at a penniless rural school, I’m sure the students wouldn’t be considered fashionable enough to interview all weepy-eyed on teevee. Besides, what do you expect when kids go hunting from age 5? Knowing how to shoot will drive you nuts and make you kill for fun…
[hijack] What the fuck is up with calling customers “guests” all the sudden. It’s not like the manager picked up the phone and gave me a fucking call inviting me over to the store for a few hours. [/hijack]
Ok now back to the OP’s actual topic. Are you really surprised about this? I assume you’ve seen and interacted with your “guests” on a regular basis for long enough to realize that they ain’t the sharpest peanuts in the turd. It’s not Target customers per se that are raging, subhuman, knuckle draggers, rather it’s the discount department store population at large. You want really scary, I mean like prehuman scary, Walmart is the place to go, but even Target isn’t safe from these throwbacks. I know you’ve watched them trundle through the aisles with that helpless, lost look on their face, or seen them staring blankly at a shelf, with their mouths open and a stream of drool hanging from their lip, like it was one of those magic image posters, as if they stared at the product selection long enough, and dumbly enough, they’d have a moment of clarity and the one true and proper shampoo+conditioner product would be revealed to them! These are the people that are signing up for the Target Visa card, these are the ones picking the school to donate to! Chances are Columbine is the only one whose name they can remember when they fill out the application. Come to think of it, it serves the local schools right - after all they graduated these fucktards and let them out into the wild.
This seems to be a common phenomenon in Retail Hell. When I worked for K-Mart, we got the same crap. Shoppers are “guests” of the store, not mere “customers.” (By the same turn, we were not “cashiers” but “associates.”) Me, I like to call something by its real name without all of the fancified language which is supposed to make something appear nicer or grander than it really is. By this same system, you could call they guy who pumps your gas an “petrolleum distillate distribution specialist.”
Referring to customers as “guests” is supposed to psychologically impose the notion of “hosting” into employee’s minds. (A person always wishes to be a good host, don’t they? Couteous, helping your houseguests to find what they need to be comfortable, and hospitable.) I’ve always been amused at corporate retail mind-games.
In my store were supposed to hand them back their change and say, “Thanks for shopping at * your * Super K-Mart!” All of the PA announcements for Blue Lights and the like used the same wording, " . . . donuts for 25 cents! And thank you for shopping at * your * Super K-Mart Center."
I asked a manager once about this asinine wording just to see how he would explain, and he said, “We want people to feel like this store belongs to them.” The concept is to make people feel like this multi-national conglomerate is a warm-and-fuzzy part of their hometown community-- a Mom & Pop only bigger and conformist to the corporate ideal.
Well, no. I have a Target card,. and although I do occasionally drool, I tend to try to keep that behavior at home on my pillow, thanks. Our local schools TELL parents that if they shop with their Target cards, they can request that money be donated to OUR school, and they do and it is.
As a Target cashier, you might make mention to your “guests” that the money can be donated to their LOCAL schools.
A bit of clarification on my part is due here. I am not even a cashier at my store. I’m the music/movie guy. All of this Visa propaganda is told to everyone at the store, even the merchandise flow people that have almost no contact with the customers. Hell, even our chargeback and receiving people hear this bullshit, and the company hasn’t stooped low enough to ask vendors to sign up yet.
And TFSC, this line:
is brilliant.
THe guest thing is irritating, but that sort of bullshit seems to be everywhere. Hell, my official job title is Entertainment Specialist, yet I do little to no entertaining while at work. (FWIW, it’s because I sell the “entertainment” type merchandise.)
This is a recently-discovered loophole for the old “the customer is always right” rule. “I’m sorry, ma’am…if you were a customer, you’d be right by definition, but you’re a guest, so I’m going to ignore you.”
At Kmart, they have a School Spirit Card. It’s not for discounts, or credit-it’s all for donating money to the local school of one’s choice. Public or private, doesn’t matter. We just scan the code with your purchase. I think that’s a nice idea.
Cranky, if you think it’s bad for you, a member of the general shopping public, think how those of us that work there feel when we pour our paychecks right back into the registers. Oh, make that terminals, we don’t use registers anymore Oh well, at least I’m part of the 401(k).
Then again, a 10% discount with 6% sales tax is hardly worth it. The 20% (14% off ticket price) I’ll get off my suit at Marshall fields will be, however.
I am not a store’s guest. I am a customer. I do not feel like the corporation gives a shit about anything other than my $$$. I do not WANT to feel all buddy-buddy with a CHAIN STORE for God’s sake. Please, stop with the “YOUR store” shit. PLEASE. Unless your job is on the line unless you say it.
But I do like Target. Their prices are reasonable and the quality is decent.
Oh well, at least I’m part of the 401(k).