I’m sure it’s an apocryphal story, but still amusing -
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him
I think the message would have been more potent if he used Everclear instead of beer.
I’ll bet the brand of beer he used was “Glurge.”
Awww. You only have to wait an hour till you can have a full on set of the Mondays on the east coast.
Very amusing.
Specifically, the part where the professor gets a class of philosophy students to “agree” that a jar of golf balls is “full.”
Professor: Is this jar full?
Realist: No, there’s gaps.
Skeptic: We can’t tell.
Nihilist: There isn’t even a jar.
Optimist: The glass if hall-full.
Pessimist: The glass if hall-empty.
Engineer: The glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
I kind of doubt whoever wrote that ever took a philosophy class. It’s not “philosophy” in the sense of “your approach to life”.
Heard that one sometime at least 15 years ago.
Yeah, when I heard it it was “big rocks” instead of golf balls, with the moral being “get your big rocks in first”. (Same idea that big rocks = important stuff). And that version used water, rather than beer.
Computer Scientist: This is isomorphic to the knapsack problem. Therefore we can conclude that finding an optimal ordering of life priorities is NP-hard.
Ok, so life is a mayonaisse jar full of golf balls, pebbles, sand, and beer. Sounds about right.
Physicist: Well, all matter is mostly just empty space, so technically you should start with some exotic matter like neutronium…
Chemist: You could fit way more in there if you use hydrofluoric acid to dissolve all those rocks…
Bad idea. What happens to the glass jar when HF hits it? 
You need to define “full.” Otherwise, it’s just bullshit.
It was a rather dumb or at least naive class to agree that the jar was full after the pebbles.
Remember as George Bush put it:
“There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — [pause] — shame on you. Fool me — [pause] — You can’t get fooled again.”
Someone did that in my church once.
I don’t get it.
So exactly which brand of mayonnaise was it?
Pouring beer into sand?!
Why would you waste perfectly good sand like that?
Doper: You need to define “full.” Otherwise, it’s just bullshit.
The lesson I took from this is that you can never devote more than 100π/3√2 percent of your life to important things. 