What corruptions of everyday cliches do you know?
Funnily enough I was thing of a particular one just 10 minutes ago.
If life gives you lemons juggle them
if you can’t juggle throw them at something. Throwing is fun.
If lives gives you lemons, and you are the Iraqi propaganda minister, insist that despite the heinous lies of the infidels that they are in fact lemonade.
“That’s going to be difficult later.”
“We’ll burn that bridge when we get there.”
“If at first, you don’t succeed, you’re a f…(glances around, realizes this isn’t the Pit)… pathetic loser.”
That which does not kill me makes me wish to hell it had…
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger - unless you lose a limb. I’m mean, c’mon…
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
Teach him to fish and there’s another species wiped out through overfishing.
To every silver lining there is a dark cloud.
The Chinese word for ‘opportunity’ is ‘problem.’
Other variations (from Philippe Geluck):
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
Give a man a picture of a fish and he’ll be able to watch it for the rest of his life.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
Teach a man how to steal a fish and you’ve fed him for the rest of his life.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he’ll sit in a boat all day and drink beer.
The early worm gets eaten by the bird.
I like *That which does not kill me had better be able to run away damn fast.
*
OOOOOOOO!! I like that better, too! 
The ealy bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
If life give you lemons, make whiskey sours.
Making the best of a bad situation, and getting drunk to boot.
It’s all fun and games till somebody loses an eye.
Then it’s fun and games you can’t see.
Hope springs eternal, but you have to be careful when playing with springs…
I wish for world peace, harmony and nakedness.
See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
Spanish-speakers have a different version of “what doesn’t kill me…” Roughly translated, it’s: “If it isn’t deadly, it’s fattening.” (¨Lo que no mata, engorda"). It may sound a bit odd, but it’s used in the same positive gung-ho attitude as it’s English language “cousin”.
My response is always: if you’re lucky, it’s both fattening and deadly.
As far as fishing goes… I think it was Churchill that said that golf is a “good walk ruined.” When a family member has invited me to go fishing, I tell them that “fishing is a good trip to the beach (or lake) ruined.”
Never put off until tomorrow, what you can put off till next week.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
Give a man religion, and he’ll starve to death whilst praying for a fish.
Give a man a lighted match and he’ll be warm for a minute.
Set a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
Give a hobbit a fish, and he will eat for a day.
Give a hobbit a ring, and he will eat for an age.
Another day, another *inflated *dollar.
He who hesitates is… Oh, damn!
“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a dam fool about it.” – W.C. Fields
–SSgtBaloo