I call it “Jobby on a stick”.
Remember the power this held during childhood? Physical bulk, knuckledusters and dart guns couldn’t compare, so why not try it on those darn adult punks who make your life such a misery?
“Jobby on a stick” ™ instantly trumps all forms of attack, lethal or not. Non-violent and with multiple-attack capabilities, you can send them running with zero effort.
Sticks available from $40 (jobbies not included).
Ehh that should be “self-defense” of course. 
Oh, darn. A correction was the only thing I wanted to add to the thread.
Proceed!
What’s a “jobby?”
The first floor of a hotel owned by a pimp.
Wielding the entire first floor of a hotel on a stick would appear to be prohibitively unwieldy. And finding a holster for this apparatus would be incredibly expensive.
And yet I feel the need to side with capitalism now that the porn/disease thing is over with.
Oh maybe you don’t know… A jobby = a turd. Or were you having me on?
I never heard of “jobby=turd” either. Is it a Brtiish thing?
or even “British”
Uh huh. So you cribbed this bit from what was it, “Exit 57”, that skit comedy show that was on Comedy Central in the early 90s? I remember that one too. The guy walks into a gun shop, asks for the best they’ve got, the dealer locks the door, pulls the blinds, and brings out the poopsticks.
Revtim - now you know :). I think it is, but don’t know if its used much in England.
And MaxTorque - I have never seen said show, but no jokes are new, right?
Actually, I had no idea what it was supposed to mean, so I was just going with what it sounded like. “Jobbie” just doesn’t sound right for turds, though.
I prefer “heft.”
Heavens. :eek: I thought you were talking about Gary Jobson, sailmaker, tactician, and sail-racing commentator. Sometimes big racing boats will send a tactician up the mast (stick) to spot windshifts. Never mind. :smack:
HERE is the Greatest Self-Defense art to be found in the UK.
When I “borrow”, I “borrow” from somebody who’s good!
This reminds me of a Penn & Teller interview I read an awfully long time ago. Basically Penn headed off a fight in a truck stop by upending a strawberry milkshake over his own head. The truck driver stopped in his tracks, said something like “Ugh, you damn hippy, now you’ve got shit all over you” and took off.
Must be a splinter school of the same self-defense style.
This story appears in Penn & Teller’s book Cruel Tricks for Dear Friends.
I read the book some years ago, but that story always stood out. I believe he didn’t want to “hit a damn retard.”
Wouldn’t a chocolate milkshake provided more effective visuals?