I think this would be awesome. Is there a video?
Strong attraction is a necessary but not sufficient condition for a serious, child-rearing relationship. Nobody thinks it’s unusual that many believers insist that their partners share their faith (even their denomination); why should it be any different for nonbelievers?
FWIW, I voted NO but it’s a question of degree. I would probably be OK with major rite-of-passage stuff (e.g. First Communion, Bar Mitzvah, etc.), Catholic school, etc. But higher-level crazy, or forced participation if the kid is not interested, would be out of the question.
As a practical matter, serious religiosity would probably be a dealbreaker for me.
I’m honestly convinced Catholic School is the ultimate atheist factory. I know 9 kids that went to Catholic school, exactly zero of them are still theists.
Absolutely not. Religion is silly and IMHO damaging. It’d have no place in my household, although as others have mentioned it’s unlikely I’d ever get to the making-babies-for-real stage with a theist. It’s just too incompatible.
A video of madmonk28 getting pissed off?
Heh. Just wait until your previously non-believing spouse gets religion!
No, it hasn’t happened to me, but it has happened to a number of people I know, whose spouses suddenly heard the “come to Jesus” (or Mohammed, etc) call, and became quite devout.
Some of those marriages didn’t survive, some are doing fine.
It depends on the religion. My SO and father of my daughter is Christian, but really it’s such a small part of his life and he’s not one of those wackos, he just seems to put a lot of trust in Jesus that he’s gonna make everything okay. He believes in Heaven and fears Hell but when pushed he says he really doesn’t believe in hell. If he could raise our little girl in a super liberal Christian way I’m okay. I do not wanting her being scared if she doesn’t believe, then she will burn in hell. But all that love your neighbor and be good to each other stuff I’m okay with.
Not* thrilled,* but his beliefs are as important as my own. I will make it clear to my daughter that I don’t believe in what her father believes and let her make her own decisions on the subject.
I would be as comfortable with doing that as, I imagine, the religious parent would be if I insisted on raising the children as non-believers.
I don’t believe religion is something that should be imposed on people, let alone my own children, and especially if the parents in the household have differing opinions already.
I’d want the kids to be free to learn about and practice whatever faith they saw fit; I wouldn’t want to stand in their way. Although I have to admit that I’m leery enough of many religions that I might end up being less than as supportive as I really could or should be. I don’t know if I’d be comfortable sending kids to a religious school, for example.
I agree with this–it would never happen. I would make of her and she’d hate me.
No, but I’m neither likely to be comfortable with a strongly religious spouse, nor likely to have kids, so it’s a moot point. I was raised religiously, I found the outcome psychologically damaging and unsatisfactory, and I wouldn’t be comfortable sorting out how much religion is right for a child.
One of the many reasons I’m just not bothering to have kids.
Not a problem as long as I don’t have to hide my own views. After all, I grew up in a virulently religious environment, and managed to form my own beliefs, and my children are all smarter than I am.
You know…I would suggest a compromise and raise our kids Unitarian.
That way they get “religion” but its not all crazy.
I’d rather be single.
Ehr, excuse me, but it’s possible to be both a secularist and a believer. I do it every day!
I don’t think I’d be able to marry someone whose religious views were incompatible with mine, thus the question is moot; there were several guys I stopped dating because of that. If they’d gotten religion bad after the fact and insisted on smacking me with it, that would legally and actually be reason for an annullment.
This doesn’t mean a supposed spouse of mine would need to use my same labels, but we should be able to talk about it without yelling, pouting, accusing each other of heresy or of being an infidel, one telling the other “you’re going to Hell!”, one telling the other “you’re a fucking idiot!” (to which my standard response would be “don’t worry, I won’t be fucking you no more”), etc.
It’s highly unlikely I would have a lasting attraction to a religious person and equally unlikely that I would marry a woman.
From my current perspective, no, I would not want my children raised religious. But hey, if the circumstances set out in the OP were to be realised, I would already have married a religious person and become a lesbian, so who knows what else I would suddenly be OK with?
I’m an agnostic (or weak atheist, if you prefer), and the spouse is a non-practicing (as in: doesn’t go to church, doesn’t really talk about religion at all) Christian.
I’ve agreed to let our daughter be baptised on the condition that the service does not require a profession of faith from me. I’ll stand there, hold the sprog (she’s 14 months old so will be too heavy for my wife to hold anyway), and say anything fairly generic about love and guidance but refuse to swear fealty to Jesus or promise to bring the child up to be a good Christian. I won’t perjure myself just to “make nice”. The godmother and the wife’s parents will be there to pick up the slack anyway.
Our daughter will probably grow up with a basic knowledge of Christianity but, with us as parents, will probably also grow up to ask awkward questions and be a smart-ass. So I’m not too worried about her being a Bible-thumper later in life.
I can’t see myself having any kind of meaningful relationship with someone who’s that into religion. Personally I think it’s for fools and the feeble-minded, so the question of raising kids with religion is never really going to feature, is it?
Even if I were religious, I would like to leave the kids to enjoy growing up and let them make up their own minds when they’re ready. Forcing your religion on them is not going to make them willingly embrace it, they’ll probably go the other way and rebel just to spite you.
I’m agnostic and my wife is Catholic, though mostly in name only. Before we married, I told her that if it were up to me, our children wouldn’t be raised in the church. She wanted to raise them in the church, and I agreed as long as I didn’t have to be involved at all. I won’t take them to church and I won’t reinforce any of their teachings.
When the kids ask questions about God, my answer always starts with “Some people believe that …”. My daughter quickly picked up on the implication and started asking what other people believe. I now have a six-year-old atheist whose mother is dragging her to Sunday school. She is looking forward to her first communion because she will get to wear a pretty white dress, have a party, and get presents. She sees right through all the bullshit, but knows that she has to play the game for now.
Oddly, she figured out the God doesn’t exist, but still believes in Santa. I suspect that she might be playing me on that one.
I’m an atheist, my wife is a practicing Catholic, we have four grown-up children, and I find it hard to answer the question because it lacks a sort of middle ground.
However, in the heat of the moment, when the priest marrying us asked me if I would raise my children as Catholic (contrary to what I understood as a prior agreement), I answered, “Yes”. I’ve always wondered what he’d have done if I’d said “No”.
Our philosophy in raising our children always has been to show them a variety of religious possibilities, and not stand in their way if they chose one road rather than any other. I sometimes go to Mass with my wife – though the last time I went to church with her was for Holy Communion at an Episcopal cathedral, where she took communion (so she’s not as strict a Catholic as some might be). One child spent one year at a Catholic school, though the rest of their education was at state schools. A couple were baptised and confirmed in the Catholic Church, though now I think the only religious one is the one who leans Wiccan.
So the closest answer to my reality is probably “Yes”, but I don’t think it’s really adequate.
I answered “no” on the poll, but my real answer is closer to “it depends”. On the religion, and on how they wanted the kids to follow it. I don’t want my kids coming crying to me because they’ve decided I’m going to hell, for example, but I’m not going to tell them they can’t be religious just because I’m not, either.