This. I voted no also, but it doesn’t truly capture my feelings.
Would the kids be taught the religion is such a way that it would impair their critical thinking skills and ability to meet the world with respect? Would they be able to acknowledge other views even if they didn’t agree with them?
I never would have married anyone who was overly religious —especially not a member of the Big Three— but if my wife were to suddenly “find God” due to some hypothetical psych problem/breakdown of rational thought processes, there is absolutely no way I’d allow my son to be raised religious.
Before we decided to have a child, we thoroughly discussed the religion ‘thing’ and mutally agreed to try and not expose our child to religion, or religious influences, until he was old enough to understand what he was being exposed to. When he’s somewhere between 13 and 30 if he decides that Snake Handlin’ Christian or so other wackiness is the way to go at least he’ll be accepting it from a mature, reasonably well-informed vantage point rather than being indoctrinated since early childhood.
It’s just a hypothetical, since my wife is more atheistic, yet oddly, more “religious” in her beliefs than I am. I could see, had I married someone else, not a huge problem in being raised with some religious beliefs. I’d probably draw the line at certain things like Wahhabi Muslim or “born again” Christian, though.
If I married the woman I think it’s safe to say that she’s not crazy religious. I wouldn’t consent to sharing a life with someone if their beliefs and actions were objectionable so I don’t see a parenting conundrum here. The kid will have a broader life experience, nothing wrong with that.
My answer is not only a hearty “hell, no” but I venture a guess that I’d have a conversation about this sort of thing long before I ever walked down the aisle. The amount of people who don’t discuss things like this before they get married astounds me. How could I possibly know if I want to marry someone if I don’t know where they stand on religion? It’s pervasive in every aspect of life, from family traditions and events, to personal rituals, to how you spend your weekends.
When I’m dating someone, one of my top priorities is to find out what religion they were raised with and how they feel about that religion now. If they are still practicing, devout, and unwavering in their faith… then we are not going to turn out to be all that compatible because I will be disrespectful and derisive to him, and that does not make for a good egalitarian partnership. I’d be better off dating people who’s spiritual beliefs are closer to my own, nevermind getting married and then arguing about whether or not the children would be raised in a religion. I’d like to think I’d head that train wreck off long before that point.
When I find out they are quite religious, that is a huge turn off to me and kills whatever attraction I felt in the first place.
My wife is a Quaker and she and our kids go to Meeting every Sunday. I’m not a believer, but I don’t mind, because it’s fairly sensible and non-evangelical. Plus, since Quakers traditionally oppose violence in all of its forms, my kids won’t as likely be goon squadding for Uncle McSam’s Club in the Middle East.
I already did this. Out of 3 kids two are atheist, one is a Believer of “something”, which describes my wife pretty well. She thinks the bible is crap but still considers herself a christian.
Please don’t raise your kids Unitarian. Rather raise them as atheists or agnostics if you must but do not raise your children as Unitarians. That religions basically mishes and mashes everything and has no firm, actual religion or spirituality at it’s core. It is almost a parody of religion like in the Brave New World with it’s worship of Henry Ford where you do participate in religion based rituals but don’t actually have any firm beliefs. Better yet just give your kids scriptures on various religions both the core ones (like the Bible) and such works by Calvin, Graham, or Warren.
Also notable is the marked intolerence by the atheist members of our board toward religious people. Yet if a Christian was to say the same thing about atheist beliefs you’d be decrying them at intolerant.
Not wanting to spend the rest of your waking hours with someone and have your children raised with a particular set of important beliefs regarding the nature of our existence and that of the world is not the same thing as outright intolerance.
I would bet many religious Dopers would say they were unwilling to marry someone who doesn’t share their faith and I doubt very many of the board’s healthy population of atheists would come down on them as ‘intolerant’ for it.
That atheists have said in this thread that they wouldn’t be able to fall in love with or marry a religious person seems to be, from my perspective, an expression of the likelihood that they would not share a number of important values with that person, to the extent that is unlikely that such a relationship would be healthy and the participants happy.
But comments like these imply that religious people are mentally ill.
I said no with a small proviso.
I probably would not marry someone who was strongly religious in the Big Three. I flat-out know I wouldn’t marry someone of the Muslim faith. I just disagree with far too many of its tenets (and yes, I have read the Q’uran). Christianity has been the religion that’s been in my face all my life so I couldn’t go with that. And I hardly know any Jews.
I might possibly marry a strong Hindu - I can deal with that. And I wouldn’t mind the putative kids being raised in Hinduism, either. Hinduism is a different kind of religion, and much more open - Hindus believe all paths lead to god, eventually. I wouldn’t accept any terrorizing or any forcing, but if I was with a Hindu, I would be happy to get back involved with the temple.
Once they turned out to be quite religious, I would no longer be strongly attracted to them.
Going to happen–my wife is a liberal Jew and we’ve agreed that the kids will be raised Jewish until they have the ability and inclination to question the ideas of Judaism and “why doesn’t dad go to synagogue?” etc., but they’ll be encouraged to make up their own minds prior to Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
Well, me too, but it’s too late.
The only reason that my daughter has NOT been baptized in to my overall extended family’s Catholic faith is that I would have to fill out paperwork from the ‘home parish’ and be a practicing, contributing member to the church.
I think there are wonderful lessons to be gained from both the organized religion and the decently practicing folks therein, as well as the lessons to be learned from arguing logically with an agnostic bordering on atheist- namely, myself.
I would love for TheKid to be exposed to as many modes of thought as possible.
So I answered Yes, but I can’t imagine it would be an issue. See the lack of desire for a devout spouse mentioned by so many dopers above.
Fair enough, but it’s part of a pattern of my nut job SIL injecting her beliefs into my life. It’s not just that she had the dog blessed, but that she had to tell me afterwards. She’s just a whackjob pain in the ass and this was one more straw.
I’d be immediately turned off and run away.
My fiancee is a (very) lapsed Methodist. She wants to take the kids to church when we have them. I told her I’m fine with that as long as she introduces them to other religions (and lack thereof) too.
On a side note, I’m trying to envision what a “doggy blessing” ceremony is like. Does the priest give the dog a communion biscuit and a pat on the head and say “Good dog! Who’s a good dog? You are! Especially now that you’ve accepted Jesus into your life!”?
Or is it more like an exorcism: “THE POWER OF CRUFTS COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF CRUFTS COMPELS YOU!”?
