Go through her line sometime when it’s slow and if she’s in a good mood ask if she’d like to get a coffee/ ice cream/ burger/ whatever sometime. Alternately ask if you can call her sometime.
If she answers yes, jot down your # then. Don’t go in with it already written down. Someone already noted that that would come across as planned. And there are girls who would take it to mean that you assumed she would say yes and would be offended.
I think that IF you’re not normally creepy (and a lot of times people who give off a natural creepy vibe don’t really know if that they are, so ask a friend), next time you’re at her register, while she’s ringing up your purchase, (not beforehand) you could write her a note that says, "Call me if you want to hang out sometime. (phone number). " I think that if this happened to me, and I knew the guy somewhat, as she knows you, that would be perfectly fine and I would be slightly flattered.
I think that chatting her up on a slow day might be kind of tough, in that you’d have to keep randomly going in to the store at different times on different days to find a day that is both 1) slow and 2) worked by her. If her co-workers saw and noticed a pattern, they could find that weird. To me, anything that hints of too much prior work is kind of sketch.
Yeah, don’t go randomly. Just stand there all day, about 15 feet away, staring in her general direction. This will allow you pinpoint a slow time, and bonus! women like when you pay attention to them. Very very close, unblinking attention.
[QUOTE=Incensed
Thanks for the input all. I guess I’ll try for a slow day and a casual approach. (Kythereia’s post is accurate–and one of the reasons I am so reticent to begin with.)[/QUOTE]
Just don’t go there every day to see how busy she is. The rest of the girls will notice and start saying “hey, there is your stalker again”
This raises an interesting question. Those people that everyone talks about as being slightly creepy/having a strange vibe to them…do they have a lot of friends, typically? Would their friends say, casually, “Yeah, you sort of seem creepy”? Are most of them creeps or it just a vibe that’s totally beyond their control?
As I mentioned elsewhere, there was a thread about ‘what makes a guy creepy’ that delved into this question.
Now, I can easily imagine actual creepy behaviour: looking at the other person as a thing or object to be used, instead of meeting them on the same level and looking at them as a person. The creepy pageant photo retouching is creepy IMHO precisely because it demumanises the children in the photographs: they might as well be objects.
But is it possible to give off a creepy vibe without intending to act creepy?
:: looks ::
Hmm. there seem to be two threads about creepiness, one on looks, and one on behaviour.
I remember the thread about what LOOKS creepy (didn’t see the behavior one, but I’ve since checked it out. Interesting how it’s much shorter than the appearance one).
I feel like a lot of people whose social skills are lacking often make others feel really uncomfortable without meaning to. Those with Asperger’s (or some degree of it), for example. I think that can translate to creepy. And some of those behaviors (close talking, etc.) were pretty spot on. I’m just wondering if you can say to someone like that, “You have a tendency…now don’t take this the wrong way…to come off as a bit…a BIT strange…very…vaguely…creepy.” They’re probably going to be somewhat upset or insulted no matter how you phrase it.
Good point; although sometimes they have siblings or other close relatives who know them, and know they’re not actually creepy, they just seem that way, who could clue them in. Sometimes people, including me for a long time, who don’t mean to be creepy can do very creepy things, like waiting in a parking lot for someone to leave work. Thus, the need for feeback from others.
Slipping her the note worked wonders for me back in my callow youth. I told her I would like to get acquainted and asked her to call me if she was agreeable.
Brilliant. It’s too bad we can’t actually do stuff like this. Imagine how much more amusing the day would be! I knew a guy in a smallish town who kind of did do this sort of thing. He’d wear an all-black body leotard and a period hat and skulk around the local historic graveyard just after twilight. He’d try to throw a brief scare into walkers, passersby, tourists, etc. before scuttling away into the darkness. He was just hoping to create a buzz, and get the rumors flying. Whenever he went to a restaurant with a group of friends, he’d wait till the waitress came to the table, and then he’d exclaim in an English-accented falsetto: Oh, deahh me! I’ve fahhtted!
Well, we were young, and I guess he was just an ass, but most people adored him, and he never had to work a second to get chicks – they were all over him.
I see that this is an older resurrected thread, so it’s probably too late, but my only advice to the OP is don’t bother this girl at work. It’s unfair. We’ve had numerous threads about giving notes/flowers to women at work. It’s a bad idea. They’re trapped there. There’s no way for them to avoid you, if that’s what they want to do. And their colleagues, if not the clients, will immediately be in on the romance. You must know her name. There must be some other way to meet her.
This is how I met my current GF. I didn’t know her before, I was trying to buy some glass vases and almost dropped them to the floor. She came to try and help me, but the situation was controlled. Still, there was this deep look…
At check-out time, I chatted a little bit and an older lady noticed my interest and said “this boy sees your cute face and he likes it”, to which I replied (loud enough that she could hear it) “And not only the face smile”. I then asked her if she had a boyfriend - she didn’t - and we made plans for coffee after her work.
I should probably mention she asked me, but I was the one who asked straight up if she had a boyfriend, so I still feel I took the first step.
You posted ‘did ya ask her out yet’ or words to that effect right after I posted about giving a girl a note asking her to call if she was interested. I thought your post referred to mine; sorry for my error.
This would totally work with me. Much better than waiting by her car, that would be a wee bit unnerving at best.
How I would feel about someone approaching me, especially at my car, would depend entirely upon how I felt about them in the first place. If I were The Girl and I knew you and had hoped you’d ask me out, I’d be flattered and say yes (though I think most girls would be slightly taken aback by the “waiting by the car” thing).
If I was indifferent and thought of you as merely an ex-coworker/acquaintance, the “creep meter” would edge up a few points, but probably still not to alarm status.
FWIW and in this girl’s opinion, the “creepmeter” depends entirely upon how the girl feels about the guy in the first place (and not so much to do with whether he is clean-cut…etc), with the needle edging into the red with a stranger or man she already dislikes and gradually going down on the dial depending upon how well she knows and likes him.
I’m a 48 yo woman, and I’m mot sure if I’m an extrovert or an introvert. About men, I believe I’m introverted, about teaching dance and at work? Extrovert.
