A question for the ladies using hormonal birth control . . .

In My Humble Opinion
1

Nah, it’s not one of those “What do you use?” polls.

What I want to know is what you’d do if the FDA approved a BC pill for men tomorrow?

  1. Do you think your partner would be willing to try it?

1a) (If you are a (het) male partner and are reading this thread despite the title, would you?)

  1. Would you be willing to try it?

  2. Would your answer to #2 be any different if it weren’t a pill, but some other form, like a shot (a Depo Provera equivalent) or an implant of some sort?

Here’s why I’m asking.

My name is auntie em and I am a control freak.

And honestly, I think I’d be a little bit twirled out to give up control of the Child Prevention. It’s not that I don’t trust SkipMagic–he’s nothing if not reliable–but since I started having sex (or rather, since I started using the Pill), I’ve pretty much had sole control of the situation.

(Well, not sole control, I mean certainly the man in question has the power to employ abstinence or insist upon a condom, and you might say that Fate has some power to cause an “accident”, but work with me, here . . . .)

I’ve been the one who knew if I’d maybe forgotten to take a pill or two; I’ve been the one who calculated the risks of that error and decided whether or not it would be OK to boink anyway (though I always came clean about it before the boinking). Heck, I’ve been the one who had the power to toss my pills out the window, lie about it to the guy, and get pregnant if I wanted to (which, FTR, I would NEVAH, EVAH do, and not just because I don’t want kids, but because I think it’s an incredibly shitty thing to do)!

I’m not ready to give that up.

Am I a freak?

I mean, haven’t we all complained about the responsibility of remembering to take a pill every single day (which is why I’m currently using Depo Provera, which I LOVE)? Haven’t we all thought it would be nice if that responsibility could fall onto someone else’s head once in awhile?

Yet when it comes right down to it, I don’t know if I could let go of the No Baby reigns.

How about you?

2

d_redguy and I were just discussing this very topic last night. If a pill (Or alternative method) was available to men, he would definitely take it. Reasons:

  1. I hate birth control pills. They make me bloat, give me headaches and make my boobies hurt. I will not take them.

  2. I am afraid of hypodermic needles. Depo is right out, unless my dear husband would like to come to the gyno’s and hold me down. He doesn’t really want to do that.

  3. The “stick” (whatever the little skin implant is called) sounds creepy to both of us. We don’t even like the idea of microchipping our cats. Paranoia, maybe.

  4. This brings us to condoms, which are our current b.c. method- when we bother. Neither of us likes them. They are yucky and they break often enough to be kind of unreliable.

I know that d_redguy would take a “man pill”, because we have this discussion at least twice a week:

Me: “I want a baby.”

Him: “Let’s wait a little longer.”

Me: “I really think we’re ready, though.”

Him: “Maybe you are. I want to wait another year.”

Me: “sigh Alright.”

:stuck_out_tongue:

3

The Depo injection doesn’t hurt. At all. Plus its done in your backside, so you don’t even have to see the needle.

But if a new BC method came out for men? No way. The side effects of the Depo (eg no periods) are doing my iron levels far too much good for me to stop. (I’m extremely anaemic, due in part to a genetic disorder).

4

Remember, oral contraceptives have been around for decades now. We’ve got a much better idea of what their side effects are than we would of some similar new product for men.

That aside, I’m on oral contraceptives to reduce my menstrual flow which was getting out of control, reduce the horrible cramping I was having, and counteract the premenstrually-related depression I was getting (seems to be working, and it’s not PMS, PMS doesn’t lead to feelings of utter worthlessness and fleeting thoughts of suicide). So if he’d want to go on it, sure. I’m just not going off my pill.

5

Actually, hyperjes, I have an abject fear of needles, too (I can’t even watch someone get a shot on television) but Angua is right–it doesn’t hurt and you don’t have to see it.

Now if only my periods would go the hell away . . .

6

You make a good point, Ferret Herder, about knowing the risks of BC pills for women, and having both partners take it would certainly be a good precaution . . .

But I guess what I’m asking is whether or not you could give up the control that you’ve been accustomed to having over whether the pill gets taken, whether it gets taken correctly, etc., to someone who has heretofore not had such a responsibility.

I don’t know if I could.

(Of course, then I think about how men have had to trust US all these years, to take the pill correctly and not to pull a fast one on them . . . )

7

Yep, I’d keep taking it, for the control-freak reasons listed above.

8

I am on the pill. I have spoken to my SO about this at some point or other, and I’m pretty sure he’d be willing to take a male version if I asked him to, but I, too, use the pill to control painful and irregular periods, so I don’t know that I’d go off them.

9

Well, as for control, I know my husband isn’t interested in having a baby right now at least, and I’m not either. He’s also more responsible than I am, so if anything, I think he’d be better at taking it on time everyday.

10

I think my fiance would be willing to try something like that if I asked him to. He’ll never have to, though. I’m on Depo for my epillepsy and probably will be for the duration unless we decide to have kids.

God, I would kill to go off that injection! Not only does it make sex less fun, but I had gained about 20 pounds just before I started taking it, and now I can’t make it GO AWAY!!! I haven’t gained any weight, but no matter what I do, it won’t come off. I’ve run 2 marathons in the last year and only lost 4 pounds, but before I was on the injection, I ran a marathon and lost 25 pounds. Grrrr…

But I would be more than comfortable having him take care of the BC. He’s pretty meticulous.

11

Well, my husband is a great guy, and I’m sure he’d be willing to take an oral contraceptive. I don’t think he would go for the Depo-like shot, because he’s a wee bit afraid of needles.

However, since he can’t even remember to turn the porch light off most nights, I don’t think I would be comfortable putting the whole responsibility of birth control on his shoulders.

12

I know my husband would take such medication (if he were permitted, he has some serious health issues). But I also know that I wouldn’t stop my Depo. Not just for safety, and definitely not for control over pregnancy. I’d keep it so that I’ll stay menses free.

I was glancing at a dog magazine in the grocery. Dog Fancy, maybe? They talked about a new injection they’re using to sterilize male dogs. Anyone heard of this? I wonder if there’s any chance it could eventually become a human drug.

Julie

13

So not to hijack my own thread, here, but for those of you who are period-free on Depo . . . how long did it take to stop getting your period? I got my first shot on July 22 . . .

. . . and I’ve been spotting ever since.

I know that’s normal, but I was just wondering when I can look forward to saving the money I USED to spend on tampons up in a jar and taking a vacation with it at the end of the year!

14

I would stay on the pill, for multiple reasons: (1) the control freak reason, (2) for period regulation and (3) because in my past personal experience, most men just really aren’t sufficiently concerned about these things.

15

When I first started it, I went two months without any spotting, then my third month on Depo was very spotty. Lucky me, that third month started pretty much exactly when my honeymoon started. Blech.

The spotting went away for two months, then another month of spotting. I wasn’t too happy, though at least I wasn’t getting the intense cramps and nausea I had with periods.

That sort of spotting has gone away. I’ll still get a day or two maybe once a year as the time gets close for my next shot. Most quarters, though, I don’t even have that.

Hope this is helpful!

Julie

16

If Gunslinger was up for it, I’d ask him to take it, while continuing to take my own BC pills. It’s not that I don’t trust him - it’s that I am in favor of anything at all that will keep me from getting pregnant while allowing me to continue enjoying bedsport. If we’re both taking something, that’s going to almost completely eliminate the possibility of accidents. It’s also very unlikely that we’d both forget on the same day, so it eliminates human error as well. I’d be all for it.

17

I agree, racinchikki, but your solution takes all the fun out of my question. :wink:

(And for the record, I know a couple who got pregnant using Depo and condoms! You think that doesn’t scare the crap out of me???)

ruadh makes a good point, but for me it’s more a matter of men being unaccustomed to the responsibility of birth control. I know plenty who have a vested interest in remaining childless, but have not had the same drilling about birth control that some girls get beginning in their teen years.

Does that make sense?

Oh and jsgoddess, thanks–that does help.

18

Checking in as a guy here, even though the OP was talking to the ladies…

I don’t think I would take the pill if it became available for men. At least not right away. There are some potentially serious side effects of the woman’s pill. With a history of cancer and heart disease in my family, I wouldn’t want to risk taking any pill without knowing well the possible side effects. And the long term effects may not be known for awhile.

All that being said, I don’t think my girlfriend would go off the pill even if I DID start taking a men’s pill. I doubt she’d be willing to trust anyone other than herself when it comes to that.

19

Since I’m a het male with a partner, I’ll chime in.

My answer is “It depends”. What are the Man Pill’s side effects? How long has it been tested? Etc. Assuming it’s like the regular Pill (fairly low-risk, known side effects, usually not dangerous), and assuming my drug coverage would cover it, sure. I don’t think my girlfriend would stop hers–she uses The Patch. Now if it was an injection, probably not, I hate and fear needles.

I’d say we’d use both.

20

Good questions, GMRyujin.

For the purposes of this question, let’s assume that the He-Pill has roughly the same level of side effects as the She-Pill.

I mean, for obvious reasons, the side effects couldn’t be exactly the same (for example, you wouldn’t get breast tenderness or irregular bleeding), but they would be along the same lines as they are for women in terms of seriousness (i.e., you might gain weight or experience nausea, and if you smoke and are over the age of 35, there are added dangers for you, etc.).

SuperNova, would you be at all worried about your potential to make future babies? A lot of women I know avoid hormonal methods because they know they want babies someday (just not right now), and are worried that certain forms of birth control might affect their fertility.