I have introduced a friend to SDMB. He is lurking but hesitant to join, he says he has nothing much to add. However, he wrote this to me in an email - I have his permission to post it. Here it is. If you think it is funny, post to try to convince him to jump in for himself.
BEGIN QUOTE:
I almost had a meal tonight for dinner that ranks right up there with cheeseburger pie on my list of “Do not ever put this in front of me for a meal again” category. I had always thought cheeseburger pie, which is some not too distant relative of hamburger helper in a pie crust, was an inhumane alternative to the electric chair or gas chamber.
Tonight’s main course was Market Day Chili. From its appearance it resembled a normal chili. A brownish red sauce in which you would find some ground beef, onion, tomatoes, beans and some spices that can give it a kick or keep it pretty bland.
I figure the ground beef if you can call it that had the following progression of distribution. First there were the parts for human consumption. Those parts rejected then go to Alpo. Whatever Alpo rejects then goes into Market Day chili. I will assume from the offering in my chili the animal was a magnificent muscular beast with strong bones and hooves. All these latter listed parts seem to have made it into my bowl. Oh not to mention a few internal organ things that can not be broken down even by the most aggressive chewing.
Then there were the tomato pieces. The ones I found in my bowl are usually the parts I toss when I cut one up. You know the stems, hard middle section, the little hard dimple part on the bottom. Must of had to chop up hundreds of them to get so many of these kinds of pieces in my portion. But at least they were all sliced in small bite size chunks for my convenience.
Well not to be outdone, there were the beans. Biggest, reddest, hardest ones they could find. I think if I let them simmer for a week they would not soften up. It was a toss up between which was worse the animal organs or the beans for jaw challenging options.
The sauce was a blend. It had of hint of sweetness yet a slightly spicy aftertaste. Since none of the other items it was trying to disguise would break down, the sauce was not as thick as it should be. Wish it were, it would have hid the rest of the stuff. The only thing that actually looked normal were the onion pieces but I’m not big on onions so after only 3 spoonfuls the meal was consumed by the garbage disposal. Which incidentally only took 15 minutes of struggling before it was able to suck it down, every last drop. I’m pretty much not going to have Chili for a while.
END QUOTE
I thought it was funny. 
He swears the 15 minutes is not an exaggeration, either.