Los Angeles is losing its tubas to the black market.
Seems to me that some evil villian has a large tuba-based weapon planned to take over world, or maybe a small part of Kenosha, WI.
I’m thinking of a certain Diva…
Perhaps one reason they are stealing tubas is, compared to other instruments, they are so easy to hide.
Maybe the tubing of tubas is used in making meth labs, or something.
I told you guys we were hot. 
Seriously, it is a problem for a lot of schools, especially so in areas where banda is so popular.
It’s really unfortunate. We want to be in the news but not like this.
“Be on the lookout for bandits with weapons of brass construction.”
Maybe they are using them as implements for consumption of illegal substances?
Tuba bongs, maybe? A device for smoking a huge amount of crack cocaine?
Maybe there is a shortage of flatulance sound effect devices in a particular part of the world, possibly?
Its possible that there is a shortage of radiators, and people are running hot water through them for radiant heat.
Or they are researching the brown note theory. 
Maybe El Tubadero was running out, and needed more instruments
Brass is bringing top dollar now, compared to a few years ago. Perhaps they’re just being sold as scrap.
When you said ‘hot’, I thought you meant ‘sexy’, not ‘illegally sold’!
Hehe
As a father of a middle school tuba player, this doesn’t surprise me in the least.
Those damn things are expensive!
“So what are we going to do tonight, Brain?”
The same thing we do every night. Try and take over Kenosha!
I, for one, welcome our new tuba-playing overlords.
Yeah but you know their national anthem’s gonna suck