Arizona is reopening. Schools are back in session and businesses are allowed to run at full capacity again.
"Citing expanded vaccine availability and declining COVID-19 case numbers, Gov. Doug Ducey on Friday announced he would relax emergency restrictions previously placed on businesses.
While mask and physical distancing requirements will not change, the state is lifting occupancy caps on businesses including bars, restaurants, gyms, theaters and water parks.
Spring training and Major League sports also can operate after they submit and receive approval for safety plans. "
The comment about masks is rather surprising because the state has never had a mask mandate and yesterday Deucy signed something saying that businesses don’t have to enforce any local mask mandates.
Things are back to normal now. Masks are a thing of the past and its hard to maintain social distancing when you are seated shoulder to shoulder at a full capacity bar or restaurant.
As of March 1st, my parents and many of their friends are fully vaccinated. My parents plan to have dinner with one other couple on St. Patrick’s Day, inside. Probably still keep some windows open, but this will be the first time that my parents have eaten inside with other people since the last St. Patrick’s Day.
And they were with the same couple last year, as one of them was born on St. Patrick’s Day, but I think they celebrated early. There will be no blowing out of candles on top of a cake. This tradition is toast. I forsee a new tradition of a piece of cake or a cupcake just for the person celebrating their birthday, or to have just a candle. I’m okay with that.
I guess you could use a hair dryer… no, that probably wouldn’t be sanitary either.
How about if everyone stands around the cake with paper fans and fans the candles out? That’s all I got.
My brother in Chicago called me and said the family wants to do a memorial for our mother who passed away last December. The event would be at the end April in Arizona where her husband is interred. I’d be flying from the west coast. I’m not at all feeling good about flying anywhere, or even going to an airport in seven weeks and I’m pretty sure I won’t get vaccinated before maybe June or much later. I’m going to wait until early April to decide, but I’m thinking I’ll take a pass. All the other attendees have a been vaccinated (they’re variously over 65 or working in the medical profession).
I’m pretty upset they scheduled this in what is still very much the deep dark of this pandemic. Mom will still be dead later in the year, for fuck’s sake.
Some of the attendees may not be around in another year if everyone needs to wait for another year.
Honestly, if they are older, vaccinated, already waited to honor her… that’s the way it goes.
My mother had her only remaining sibling die not long ago. She has already been vaccinated and was able to go to a socially distanced service.
But what they’re also doing is taking away my chance at some closure with my mother’s passing. Where later this year I would be vaccinated and air travel wouldn’t be recommended against by the CDC as it is now.
This is a very bad idea. Arizona is going to be in really bad shape by then. If you do come, you can go out partying with no worries about masks or occupancy limits.
I think in general the next few months will be dicey, as numbers are going to be going down but not out, and the delay between some people getting vaccinated and not others.
I don’t know what to do when most members of a group are vaccinated, but some are not and will have to wait some time. I think not everyone is going to wait. Perhaps they shouldn’t wait, life is short.
My GF is taking a vacation with her daughter to Florida. Has to fly, but trying to mitigate by using small airports. The daughter is a senior, and she’ll be graduated, last chance for this sort of deal. So I get it.
I have a soft spot for things that are not going to be made up. I think that there are people who died June 2020, September 2020, who will never get an in person remembrance. People will think that the zoom and donation and Facebook condolences will be enough and they’ll already have moved on from the deceased. It is going to happen. People aren’t going to attend a succession of funerals.
Latest CDC Guidelines
Wait a minute. If most of the people at your mother’s memorial have been vaccinated, wouldn’t that provide you with some level of herd immunity even if you haven’t been vaccinated yourself?
He’d still have to fly there, stay somewhere, etc. etc. I imagine you don’t mean it this way, but I am sure he’s thought about this and decided it’s not safe, and people in here are badgering him for 1) thinking he might should be one of the principle people his own mother’s funeral is scheduled around and 2) being too afraid to go.
Were it my mom, I’d be livid that when I opened up about this personal frustration, people did nothing but give me shit for my feelings.
(squeegee, apologies if I got the gender wrong. I can’t remember)
But he still has to fly. Flying turns out to be much safer than a lot of other activities, but it’s still a risk.
@squeegee I’m not sure what I would do in your place. If you really do want to go, it’s easy to get a good mask and shield nowadays. That’ll keep you safe for the flight. Stay in a hotel. If most people have been vaccinated at the memorial, you’ll be even safer. Just keep the good mask on at all times in public (including the memorial) and don’t leave your guard down.
My mother was in assisted living in Chicago. My sibs live in Chicago and could visit her with precautions, but by last December when the pandemic was very bad they couldn’t visit her in person at her facility. She took a turn and went to the hospital, then they could visit for several days; she was ill and wasn’t very coherent, but she had several moments of clarity where she recognized one or the other of them, said she loved them. They were with her when she passed away.
Meanwhile I’ve been sheltering in California and haven’t seen her since 2019. Her hearing was so bad that talking with her on the phone was nearly impossible, though I tried, which always went something like “Hi, Mom, it’s Squeegee!” “What?” “IT’S SQUEEGEE MOM” etc. For me, her end went something like this: 3 phone calls. 1. She’s sick; 2. She won’t last the day; 3. She’s dead.
She’s been gone for three months, and I haven’t really processed it, like at all. I was hoping I finally could, as unpleasant as grief can be, maybe at her memorial. So yeah, it’d be nice if the sibs could have given a little (insert expletives here) consideration to the timing.
Anyway, I don’t know if I’ll go. My gut says don’t fly 'till I’m vaccinated. Getting in a tube full of people shoulder to shoulder sounds like a nightmare; I haven’t been closer than six feet to more than 3 specific people, one at a time, in a year. I’ve been to the grocery which means distancing and barriers. Flying has nearly none of that. And airports and airplanes are filled with people from places where they aggressively don’t mask, don’t distance, and gather in large groups, fuck the consequences.
As nice as the infection curve trends appear at the moment, we are most definitely still in the deep dark of this pandemic, and every day is a mass casualty even that rivals anything in our history. Every. Day.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, Squeegee, it’s a rough call. I’m not sure what I’d do in your situation. A question for you though, and it may be dumb. Could you ask your siblings - or a close friend who will be there if the sibs won’t cooperate - to do a bit of livestream with a phone, so that you could tune in remotely? I’m not sure if that would provide much closure or just make things worse for you, but it’s a thought.
Yeah, a zoom or something during whatever the ceremony is is a possibility. We’ll see.
This situation really sucks. I understand your frustration, Squeegee. I think your sibs owe you some consideration. She was your mother too.
My condolences, squeegee, and I hope some good will come out of all this.
Well, son of a gun: my brother just texted me that he and my sister had talked and decided it was unfair to me to hold the memorial when I wasn’t comfortable traveling. I’d just been drafting an email declining, making my reasons clear while trying not to be all bitter-Betty about it when my phone dinged. He said they’ve canceled their plane tickets and will schedule something for this fall.
I am SO happy it worked out this way.