A really funny 419 scammer this time

[Mangetout]

I just received this:

From: “mike dike”
Subject: NEST OF KIN
To:Mangetout

MR MIKE DIKE
FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPT.
UNION BANK.

DEAR FRIEND

My name is MR.MIKE DIKE of credit and foreign bills of Union bank Plc. I am writing in respect of a foreign customer of my bank with account number14-255-2004/utb/t who perished in a plane crash [Korean Air Flight 801] with the whole passengers aboard on August 6,1997.Since the demise of this our customer by name Barry Kelly I personally has watched with keen interest to see the next of kin but all has proved abortive as none has come to claim his funds of usd.15.5M, [Fifteen million five hundred thousand united states dollars] which has been with my branch for a very long time. On this note, I decided to seek for whom his name shall be used as the next of kin as no one has come up to be the next of kin.And the banking ethics here does not allow such money to stay more than five years, because money will be recalled to the bank treasury as unclaimed after this period.

In view of this I got your contact through a trade journal after realizing that your name and country is similar to the deceased. I will give you 30% of the
total.Upon the receipt of your response, I will send you by fax or e-mail the application, bank’s fax number and the next step to take. I will not fail to
bring to your notice that this business is hitch free and that you should not entertain any fear as all modalities for fund transfer can be finalized with in five banking days, after you apply to the bank as a relation to the deceased.When you receive this letter.Kindly send me an e-mail signifying your interest including your private Tel/Fax numbers for quick communication.

Yours faithfully,

MR MIKE DIKE

Mike Dike? ‘Nest’ of kin?

I’ve replied:

Dear Dike

Please tell me more

We’ll see what happens next - I addressed him as ‘Dike’ because these scammers always seem uncertain about which parts of the name are forename and surname.

[Mangetout]

I had almost given up, but he’s replied:

Dear Mange Tout,

I duly received your mail with due thanks.The request for a foreigner as a Next of Kin in this business is occasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and therefore A CITIZEN OF NIGERIA can not stand as a Next of Kin to a foreigner. This is the actually reason why it will require a second party or a fellow who will forward claims as the Next of Kin therefore to enable the transfer of this fund to you as arranged. You must apply to the Bank as Next of kin, and after which you write to the bank after the lawyer as ascertain documents to you. also your private Telephone And Fax number will be needed for easy and effective communication. Your full name, Mailing address, age and occupation either and indicate wherein the money will be remitted to your norminated account in what ever country you wish either your home land or offshore account.

I will also instruct you on how you can add in your application to the Bank that you get paid to through their corresponding Bank in America,Europe,Asia this will be easier for us all. Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by Fax or E- mail, the Text of application. I will not fail to bring to your notice that this transaction is risk free and takes all due process of law and that you should not entertain any fear as all required arrangements have been made for the transfer.now i want you to send me informations.

(1)your full name and address,
(2)your ocupation and age,
(3)your bank name and address,
(4)account number.

I want you to understand the fact that this transaction is 100% legitimate and you have nothing to worry about for. i will be apointed on your behalf to get all neccesary paper works in your favour as the next of kin to the deceased fund owner.
Feel free to contact me on my cellphone number:[snipped]
for more information/transfer procedure.

Regards

Mike Dike

So I’ve responded saying:

Hello Dike

I’m just not sure I can be bothered. Is there anything you can tell me that might make the idea a bit more, well, interesting?

[Duckster]

Keeping your finger in the dike, eh?

[Argent_Towers]

Last year I had an ad up on Craigslist and I got a gibberish response from “sean S. marine.” I decided to have some fun with it. Here’s our correspondence, verbatim:

Me:

Hi,

I would be very happy to sell to you. However, I have one
requirement: I will only sell to buyers who are gay.
In order to buy it, you will have to prove to me somehow that you
are gay. How will you do this? Please let me know.
His response:
Well i dont know how to prove it to you may be you create a yahoo Id
and we chat online with that youn will believe am gay…waitting
to read from you ssonest…
Thanks love

Me:

Hi,

Just give me a short list of some men whom you find attractive. Actors, baseball
players, popular singers - any men who you find to be sexy. Just list 4 or 5 men who you think are attractive. That’s all you need to do.

His response:

Hello,
Brad Bite, beckham ,usher raymon, R kelly,mase.waitting to read from you
soonest.Sorry for my late response.
Thanks.

Wow. I assume by Brad Bite, he meant Brad Pitt. This was a truly hilarious incident - I can’t believe it went as far as it did.

[Rigamarole]

@Argent Towers

Just give me a short list of some men whom you find attractive. Actors, baseball
players, popular singers - any men who you find to be sexy. Just list 4 or 5 men who you think are attractive. That’s all you need to do.

I would have added - “and describe to me in as much detail as possible what you would do with them once you got them alone in a room. Thanks.”

[FRDE]

@Mangetout Interesting, you have been promoted up the line, the first Email was from a catcher, the second Email is a lot less pathetic.

I used to ‘bait’ but gave it up as they really made me get vicious, at one time I tried to turn it round and tried to buy volunteers for medical experiments. I was curious how far they would go and reckoned spreading FUD was reasonable revenge.

The Mike Dike bit is because they use names from other people they have corresponded with - and my guess is someone has used that name on them.

If you don’t know it then have a look at www.419eater.com (especially the forum) however I suspect you know that site rather well - I could even be trying to teach Shiver how to suck eggs

[Mangetout]

Thanks FRDE. I have done this once or twice before - last time was the most fun, IMO.

A new 419 scammer, a new reply tactic

Anyway, to my surprise, Mike Dike has replied:

Dear Mange Tout ,

Ok, i will send you the entitle documents for the deposited fund, but you have to keep it strictly confidentail till the fund is transfer into an account you will nominate for this purpose.

Expecting to hear from you

Regards
Mike Dike.

My response:

Hiya Dike

Yeah, that would be OK, I guess. Can you send the documents by email sometime?

[Scuba_Ben]

Good luck with this scambaiting, Mangetout. You’ve had some amusing counterscams in the past.

If you can play this one out long enough, may I suggest an end game? Have them email a full specification of everything that was discussed, including their real contact information, to wfoectf (at) einformation (dot) usss (dot) gov – this is the Secret Service’s Washington field office for electronic crimes.

[Xema]

The request for a foreigner as a Next of Kin in this business is occasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and therefore A CITIZEN OF NIGERIA can not stand as a Next of Kin to a foreigner.

Impeccable logic there - I think we can all understand how no Nigerian could possibly be related to someone who’s a citizen of another country.

[descamisado]

1. Mangetout, dude, you are so making this shit up.

And, if so, thanks for doing so; this stuff is hilarious.

@Rigamarole

I would have added - “and describe to me in as much detail as possible what you would do with them once you got them alone in a room. Thanks.”

2. Don’t you know it’s not proper to go this far before a third e-mail exchange. Don’t you have any morals?

3. Did anyone see the MSNBC broadcast the other night (first time?) where the Predator show guy goes to London to screw around with and out Nigerian scammers? As much I seem to be concerned about the entrapment issues raised in the predator shows (not for discussion here, please), I was all for what he did to these scammers. Those were hilarious also.

[Mangetout]

No reply from Mike Dike yet, but I’ve had another email from another scammer arrive in a different inbox; this one has to be seen to be believed:

From : susana benson
Subject : FROM: MRS SUZANA BENSON.

FROM: MRS SUZANA BENSON.
Geerting To You

My Dear in the Lord
With due resperct and humblelity. I am Mrs.SUZANA BENSON. from morocco but now undergoing medical treatment. I was married to MR. BENSON. he was a business man in FRACE EXPORT AND INPORTED for eleven years, before he died in the year 2003. We were both married for ten years without children.

He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $ 5.6, doller. million deposited in a bank here in Cote D’ Ivoire. And he daposited it in my name I will send you the contact details of the bank as soon as you indicate your interest.

Recently, my Doctor told me that I will die soon due to my cancer illness. Having known my condition and believing the doctor I have decided to donate this fund to avoid total loss to church, Less privilege, or better still a Christian individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here in.

This money should be used to help churches, orphanages ,widows and propagating the Gospel and to ensure that the house of God is maintained. Please do not fail to spread the funds across the globe especially AFRICA as soon as you receive the money.
I took this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are fighting over the properties and I don’t want my husband’s hard earned money to be misused by their greedy attitude. I don’t want a situation where this money will be used in an UNGODLY manner, hence the reason for taking this bold decision.i will give you all vital that documents covers the money in the bank ,and i will write letter of authaorisation in your behalf that will authorise you as my partner to make claims of the money on my behalf. please dear in the lord you can contact here trough my private email([snipped]) for security reasons

God bless you.
Yours, Sincerely.
Mrs.Suzana. Benson.

I’m going to tell Mike Dike that my real name is Mrs Susana Benson, and tell Mrs Susana Benson that my name is Mike Dike, then give them each other’s email addresses - unfortunately I will of course not be able to witness the confusion that may arise between them, but we can imagine…

[Mangetout]

…So, I sent:

Hello Susana

I’m really sorry to hear about your illness. Is there truly no hope for your recovery?

I will of course be delighted to help you in any way I can.

Warmest regards

Mike Dike

and

Hi Dike

I was a bit disappointed that you didn’t email me today, but maybe you’re busy this weekend. Anyway, I just thought I’d write to keep in touch.

I think there’s something wrong with this email account, so I’ll contact you again soon with a different address you can use to email me.

Bye for now
Susana Benson (that’s my real name, by the way - ‘Mangetout’ is just a nickname)

[FRDE]

@Mangetout

Thanks FRDE. I have done this once or twice before - last time was the most fun, IMO.

So you have, I had forgotton about that thread - comical

[Mangetout]

Mike Dike has replied with:

Dear S. Benson,

Find attached the copy of the necessary document for your perusal and for record purpose. Please keep the document confidential until you confirm the fund in your account.

However, i will be waiting for the confirmation of this mail from you before i will appoint an attorney that will proceed to the court for the worming of the affidavit of true beneficiary on your name as the rightfully beneficiary/next of kin to late Barry Kelly. You don’t have to be fear over this transaction because the document will back up this fund.

Confirm the receipt of this mail. pls you have to forward this documents to the bank because this is to confirm you as the next of kin to late Barry Kelly will be very happy to hear the good news. why because the bank might need you to come over to sign this document and this will cost you much money so the lawyer will sign on your behalf and forward your details to the union bank before the finally approval.

I wait to hear from you and call me once you receive this document to update you on how we can end this transaction and keep this as a top secret until this fund is been transfer in your bank account. after which I will come over to meet with you. Call me to explain matter. [snipped] for more detail/transfer procedure. waiting for your call.
Regards
mike dike

The attached ‘documents’ were a complete joke; they’re tiny, fuzzy little jpegs - look:
document 1
document 2
document 3
-the third document bears a fake rubber stamp proclaiming ‘ORIDINAL’ - I’m going to see if I can get him to send bigger versions of the documents, because I bet they’re riddled with silly spelling.

No reply from Susana Benson as yet…

[Mangetout]

So I have responded:

Dear Dike

Thanks for your email, but unfortunately I could not read the attached documents, as they were very small images and were not legible when I zoomed in. Please can you send them again at readable resolution?

Thanks
Susana

[Mangetout]

Also, I received an email from a third scammer…

To: Mangetout
Subject: Funds Management / Partnership Request
From: “KEVIN CLARK LAW FIRM” <[snipped]>

Dear Partner,

Re: Funds Management / Partnership Request.

I am facilitating for a private investor who want to Invest his
financial estate in long-term business venture in your Country/company under
your supervision.

You will be required to; Receive, Invest and manage the funds in a
profitable venture.The amount to be invested is Twenty-Five Million US
Dollars. My client is Willing to give 15% [Negotiable] as articipation
fee as the receiver and extra 10% “Management Commission” on your
advised investment project.

We expect to hear from you urgently and kindly send the
Following info to enhance communication;

1. Full Names and Address

2. Tel, Fax and Cell phone numbers

I look forward to your swift response.

Sincerely,

Barr Kevin Clark
(Investment/Legal Consultant)

just trying to work out if I can weave him in with Mike Dike and Susana Benson

[Mangetout]

So in the meantime, I’ve replied as Susana Benson:

Hi Kevin

I’m completely clueless about investment, but I’m willing to have a go. Just tell me what to do next…

Regards
Susana Benson

[Mangetout]

The game is afoot! - Susana Benson replies with:

Dear Mange,

thanks for your respone to my mail and ur willignness and ability to help distibute this money to the poor and the needy and also build a house for God is apreciated.

before i will give u the contact of the bank, pls i will like to have ur contact infoamtion like ur tlephone and address so taht u can contact the bank for more ifnoramtion over the money and how it will be tranfered to ur account.

please remember that this money should be used to help the poor and the needy.

u can contact me on this number [snipped]

thanks and waiting to hear from u

Yours

susana

The txt shorthand is interesting. I just need to wait for a reply from Kevin Clark and then I’m good to go:
-Email Mike Dike telling him to contact me on Susana’s email address
-Email Susana telling her to contact me on Mike’s address
-Email Kevin telling him I’m Susana Benson and that Mike Dike is my legal representative, providing both email addresses.

[ParentalAdvisory]

Must be a riot to articipate.

[Mangetout]

@ParentalAdvisory

Must be a riot to articipate.

Sorry, I don’t have any ifnoramtion on taht.