A recent death in my family

Hi everyone,

This last Friday my brother-in-law died. He was 41 and I really liked him. He was married to my younger sister (she is 21 now) and a pilot for a major airline. I am not able to go to the funeral because I can’t afford the airfare. The bereavement fares ranged from $590-1200 the other fares were even higher. The funeral is tomorrow and I just found out recently when I would have to be there if I were able to go. To make money even tighter, I have been going through the process of buying a house and have been using all my spare money towards a downpayment. I know they will understand but I am really torn by the decision to stay here. I really need the money to buy the home and as it happens I am not able to pay for the ticket at the same time.

I just needed to post this.
Thank you,

My heart goes out to you and your sister.


My sympathies…

Dont the airlines have a special rate for stuff like this?

Just make sure you stay in touch with youur sister. If you can’t attend the funeral, yoou can’t. It’s a significant moment, but in the long run your attendance or lack thereof won’t loom very large.

What you might think about, though, and try to plan for is arranging some kind of visit with your sister in 6-8 weeks. She’ll probably need it about the time the event is passing from other people’s minds.

Thank you Trish and Kelli. The “special rate” that the airline quoted me was $740 and $756. The cheapest rate was not a bereavement rate. To make things worse, he was a captain on TWA and their bereavement rate was $756.


Thank you Beatle. Sorry I didn’t post with the orginal. It seems that we posted almost at the same time. I will be down in Texas in early December. I hope that will be alright with her.

Thank you again,

Be sure to send her a nice long letter, and call too if you can afford it. Don’t stay out of touch because you’re embarrassed at not being at the funeral!

A large warm hug to you and such comfort as can be sent across a message board as you grieve, and the same to your sister. Be strong for your sister. You’re both in our prayers.

So sorry to hear about it SqrlCub. Write your sis a letter, and make sure you give her a big hug and take her out for coffee the next time you see her. My condolences.

Veni, Vidi, Visa … I came, I saw, I bought.

Thank you Flora, Polycarp, and ChrisCTP.

I just got my sister’s email address and wrote her a long letter. I sent her a very large vase of flowers (mostly white flowers had a lot of lillies) yesterday. It should arrive early this morning.

The funeral is today. My mother told me that the airline arranged for several planes to fly over after the funeral is over. I suppose they will be smaller jets rather than the large commercial planes. I guess they did one thing nice.

Thank you everyone for responding. I have been feeling guilty about not being able to go.

Special thanks to Trisha and Kelli for their kind words.