Dear Jakeline,
Thank you, sweetheart, for purchasing my resubscription on the day I expired. Or rather, the day my subscription expired – the former would have just been awkward.
At any rate, it was a really, really nice surprise that prevented a lack of continuity in my Dope-filled days, and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it! So much so, that I wanted to publicly thank you for it.
I am curious, though, as to why you hate the Straight Dope community so much that you not only introduced me to it to begin with, but you’ve now decided to thrust me upon them, unsuspecting and defenseless, for yet another year. What exactly do you have against these good people, anyway? 
Yours very truly,
Asimovian
Proud member since '05