Which is weird, because I’m here now.
But the thing is this: after I got back from holiday last Thursday, my phone worked fine and my ISDN line worked fine too. Next day, the phone acts weird, but the ISDN line works. That evening, the phone is dead, and the next morning, the ISDN is gone too.
Saturday morning, I call KPN (the Dutch phone service, locally known as “those dirty rotten bastards”). With my mobile, of course (which luckily ISN’T a KPN phone!). After 4 high toll numbers, the rocket scientists have come to the conclusion that there is “some sort of malfunction on my lines, but not at my place, no, in the Central Station”.
Requires a technician. Who will do this. TUESDAY.
Yes, three days without a phone and without home internet. What can they do for me? Divert all calls to my mobile. With a girlfriend in London, I can’t wait to see my mobile bill (I have to pay for incoming international calls)… but I’m gonna make THEM pay it, of course 
So that’s why I’ve been offline over the weekend. I haven’t been avoiding you 
Yojimbo, I got your mail in good order. I’ve booked the ticket for DubDope! No turning back now, you’re all gonna meet Clog Boy 
GlobeMoosieTrotterGirl, I wanted to kick your ass a bit more with Gin, but I couldn’t.
Shayna, I haven’t seen you yet. How are ya, babe?
I hope this removes all rumours about my:
a) Kidnapping;
b) Suicide;
c) Becoming a Tibetian Monk