A smidge TMI: how does one ask this delicate safe(r) sex question?

In My Humble Opinion
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      • Start it off with a bit of comedy. I would say to the girl “It’s a good thing you’ve got birthing hips, because triplets run in my family”.
        ~
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Hmm. I might not mention this, but the Straight Dope is all about fighting ignorance, so…

Herpes can be transmitted by kissing. Both type 1 and type 2. (Yes, type 2, often known as “genital herpes” can occur on the lips. And type 1, thought of as “oral herpes,” or just “cold sores” can occur on the genitals)

So, all of you who wait until after you’re smooching to get to the talk about STDs are doing it a bit late.

Admittedly, you can see your partner’s lips and avoid kissing anyone with visible sores, but there can still be herpes virus present without there being visible sores, especially during prodrome.

Also, you might want to keep in mind that you can be HSV-1 or HSV-2 positive and have never had any symptoms. So anyone who says “I don’t have any STDs” but hasn’t gotten a blood test for herpes may well be fooling themselves.

If you’ve gone to Planned Parenthood for an STD test, unless you specifically ask for it they don’t test for herpes.

Also, when evaluating your risk for type-1 herpes, keep in mind that about 75% of the adult population in the US has it. Given that it can be passed through closed-mouth kissing, it is not terribly uncommon for virgins to have it.

So, there you go.

Now, the OP’s question gets really fun…“How do you bring this up with someone…before the relationship is at the ‘first kiss’ stage?”