A Tale of Two Turtles MMP

This past Saturday was The Day of Turtles. It all started when Complicated Roommate and I were coming back from running a few errands. There was a turtle in the middle of the road. I yelped “Pull over! We have to get the turtle out of the road!” because I am a crazy loon who doesn’t like to see animals get run over.

Complicated refused to get out of the car, so he sat in the car and watched me be an idiot. As soon as I got to the turtle I realized why he was still sitting there. This turtle, you see, had a tail. Also I live in swampland. I didn’t put the two together until I saw the distinctive shell and realized that the turtle sitting in the middle of the road…was a snapping turtle.

Dammit. Well, I’m committed. I may as well move the turtle. Also, why did it never occur to me I live in snapping turtle country?

I gingerly nudged the turtle with my foot. It kicked back at me. Complicated yelled “Pick him up by the sides of his shell!” So I tried that. It snapped at me. I yelped. I go to get a stick from the side of the road. I poked the turtle with the stick. It just got madder. Meanwhile I keep having to jump out of the road because cars are going by.

I decide to give it up as a bad job and left the turtle where it was. It was in the middle of the lane where it wouldn’t get run over as easily. I get back in the car and we go home. I’m still feeling guilty, but I don’t want to get bitten. Snappers are hateful little bastards.

A few hours later I’m cleaning my bathroom sink. Complicated Roommate, Corvette Roommate, and Adopted Dad are outside fixing Corvette’s truck. Complicated comes in my room with his hands cupped over something. “This’ll make up for the turtle in the road earlier. This was in the driveway” He opened his hands and there was another turtle! A teeny tiny box turtle!

Of course I played with it for a little bit. It was tiny and cute!

I took the tiny turtle outside to set it free. Its last known location was the stand of trees in front of Adopted Dad’s house. Hopefully it will live a long and turtly life and become a big turtle.

The snapping turtle got out of the road on its own. I will be staying well away from the water-filled ditches lining the road from now on.


Must have been in the right place at the right time–was not Saturday morning when the waterbed decided to retire after 17 years.

awww…that little tiny turtle is adorable. :slight_smile:

I had two turtles as a little girl. They ran away from home.



See you tomorrow folks.

Aww, nice story about the turtles. Too bad the snapper was so mean and wouldn’t accept your help, but at least you did get to help the little baby box turtle. Go Spaz!

One reason I leave my emergency snow shovel in the car all year is to remove snappers from roads. It is not a common occurrence, but SE Michigan and NE Ohio have enough swamps to ensure periodic turtle encounters and we’ve got snappers here. too. (If they ever learn how to jump, I’ll give up that project.)

Oh wow, that tiny turtle is adorable! I wanna poke it!

Mom is scheduling a dentist appointment for me for Wednsday after a chunk of one of my molars the size of the tip of my pinkie finger broke off. It doesn’t hurt but it feels wierd. Must… not… poke… with… tongue…

I’m gonna make Mom’s alfredo pasta next weekend for my girlfriend and roommates. Soooooooo bad for you but soooooooo good… 1300 calories and 85 grams of fat.

Per serving.

I’ll prolly toss sauteed chicken and mushrooms in as well. Eenf, now I’m hungry.

What an adorable micro-turtle! What is it that’s so cute about itty teensy animals? I recently came across the website ZooBorns, which has photos of animals born at zoos around the world, and I have to say there isn’t much cuter than a baby animal of almost any species.

But yeah, snappers are nasty critters!

I never had a turtle as a pet, but when I lived in LA a coworker had a desert tortoise that his family had adopted 40 years earlier that is by now a protected species, so he has special permission to keep it, but he had to make provisions for its next caretaker after he’s gone since it’ll probably outlive him by a couple of generations. :eek:

This evening Rusty started winding down; it’s clear he’s starting to get ready to go. Poor baby, we just feel so horrible about having to put him to sleep so quickly after learning he was sick in the first place, but there’s really no point in keeping him hanging on at this point because it would only be for us, not for him. At least he had a good day today, with that lovely swim followed by a slow, gentle brushing – he didn’t want to go outside and have his usual vigorous brushing, so instead he lay down in my office and I brushed him very slowly and calmly. It was really sweet the way he just relaxed and clearly felt soothed by it. Sweet doggie! But I hope Papa Tigs can make it through work tomorrow without starting to cry; he and I have both been crying off and on since yesterday morning at the vet’s. He doesn’t cry very often, so it makes me feel bad for him, too!

Great OP, Spaz. We don’t have anything as exciting as swamps and pugnacious turtles over here and that tiny turtle is a perfect cat toy!

(((((Rusty and the Tigs clan))))) - I am glad you made Rusty’s last day such a happy one and you got to spend time with him before the vet’s today. I know it’s a tough decision to make but you’re right to do it before things get worse for him. You know it’s for the best even if it’s going to upset you, but at least you have the chance to say goodbye.

In other news, I was in York over the weekend at a wedding. Lots of fun, alcohol and dancing. I is tired now.

One of my favorite Mafalda strips (by Quino - this is a plug for any Spanish-readers here…) is one where Miguelito asks her, as she sits down with a leaf of lettuce in her hand, “so you got a turtle! what did you call her?”

Mafalda sitting down with the lettuce as Miguelito waits…

Mafalda sitting down with the lettuce as Miguelito waits…

Mafalda sitting down with the lettuce as Miguelito waits…

As the turtle snaps up the lettuce, Mafalda answers “Bureaucracy.”

Mornin’ Y’all! Up and caffienatin’. One down and four to go. Yep, it’s my Tuesday.

Great OP Spaz! I, too, live in swampland (duh!) and know all about snappin’ turtles. Mean ol’ critters! At times my drive to work, especially down the main road from da cave to town is fraught with turtles and other critters in the road. I sometimes rescue turtles myself. The possums and armadillos are on their own however.

{{{Rusty and TigsClan}}} I know it’s a sad day but y’all are doin’ right by Rusty. He’s had a long, healthy, funfilled and much loved life. I know he knows that.

Hee Nava! That was funny!

Tme for more caffiene and some brekkies. Must purtify and get to da workplace.

Later Y’all!

Several months ago we had an invasion of snapping turtles in our city streets. Well, two snapping turtles, but it was in two different towns on consecutive days, so that counts as an invasion.

See, our city cops double as animal control officers whenever the regular animal control officers are off duty. So when someone called in a large snapping turtle wandering through downtown, one of our finest had to go pick the stupid thing up. He put it in the trunk of his patrol car and headed out of town.

Next thing I hear from him is when he radioed in that he was clear, adding, “And I’m gonna have a property damage report from what that thing did to my trunk!”

It peed all over everything. “Don’t you keep your shotgun in the trunk?” I asked. “Did you really think it would be a good idea to arm him?”

Next day we get another call about a snapping turtle wandering through downtown. Different turtle, different town. This time the officer, hoping to avoid the mistake of his comrade up north, stashed the beast on the back floorboard. Beast decided to crawl under the seat and attach himself to the seat frame with his Clamping Jaws of Extreme Tenacity (+5 strength), hissing like a leaky radiator. The officer called for backup. My suggestion that the turtle be left there as a surprise for their next arrestee was ignored.

One hour and one bent tire iron later, they succeeded in extracting the turtle from under the seat and released it into the wild. You know how when you watch animals being released into the wild your brain starts playing, “Booorn freeee…as free as the wiiind blooows…”? That doesn’t work for snapping turtles. Snapping turtles are more into thrash metal.

This turtle peed all over everything, too.

The officers won’t go pick up turtles anymore.

Heee. Great OP, Spaz. Funny invasion story, Marlitharn. And good joke, Nava.

Glad you had a really good day with Rusty, MamaT.

Gotta get up and moving…

Happy Monday, everyone.


My last encounter with a snapping turtle was on the road to Sharon The Felonious Housekeeper’s trailer. In the middle of the road that time was a snapper about a foot across at it’s widest point.

I never got out of the truck. I suspected it was the reason one of Sharon’s little dogs came up missing.

BTW, I never knew quilt making was a dangerous occupation. Yesterday, VWife was cutting out pieces for a double wedding ring quilt, and took off the tip of her left middle finger with a rotary cutter. :eek: I took her to the ER in Suffolk, not because of the injury itself, but because she’s on a blood thinner called Coumadin, and the injury had not stopped bleeding after 10 minutes of direct pressure.

'Tis only a flesh wound; no involvement with the nail bed, nor deep enough to see bone. You can imagine the grief I gave her for cutting cloth while trying to watch NASCAR.

I did my taxes. I owe $900 to the Feds, dammit. Once more, I get a Virginia refund that pays what I owe North Carolina. It’d be nice that if they ever made Vaseline a deductible tax preparation expense.

ETA: Blurf.

That’s a great story Marlitharn. They should have left the turtle in the car. That’d be one hell of a crime deterrent!
“Now you sit back there and think about what you did.”
“Holy @@##%#$%, there’s a snapping turtle back here!”
“Yep, we call him The Enforcer.”
“It’s hissing at me!”
“He does that.”
“He’s peeing on me!”
“Are you going to commit a crime again?”
“No! Put me in jail! Give me the chair! Just get me away from this turtle!”

Those rotary cutters are dangerous, Bobbio. They were on the Don’t You Ever Touch This Or The Breadboard Will Meet Your Behind list in my mom’s sewing chest, right next to the pinking shears.

I forgot to mention that the tiny turtle also snapped at me, but it was more adorable than threatening. You can see it swatting at me in the last picture.

{{{{{{{{{{Rusty & TigsFamily}}}}}}}}}}

Great turtle tales, Spaz. The Booster Club worked the UNC-TV telethon last night. Today is work.

Morning, all. Peeing turtles, hee! Gotta watch out for those suckers.

Apparently Rusty is really ready to go. After he danced for his biscuit last night, he came in my office and crashed, and he’s been just this side of comatose ever since. I’m wondering now if he’ll even make it till Papa Tigs gets home. I’m sure glad we took him to the vet Saturday, so even though he’s going so fast, we at least had time to make it so fun for him. Every doggie should get to go swimming for their last major fun activity, right?

In other news, the jobs transcribing the Congress[del]idiots[/del]people continue, even more than they did. Even if they still don’t work nearly as much as normal people, at least this session is busy enough that most of the Congress[del]idiots[/del]people are having to work a lot harder than usual. Hee! And now that I’m home, I can do more of it – although they managed to persuade the most intensely Luddite reporter, a guy who not only won’t have a cell phone or computer, but won’t even have a cordless phone in his house, to start recording electronically. My evil little heart is greatly enjoying it. :smiley:

If they like water. Boxers are 50-50 water lovers or haters, and all I’ve had have been haters.

After Rusty is gone and the grieving is over, I can fix you up with one or two Boxer idiots. Cheap. I’ll even throw in a cat or three for no extra charge.

{{{MomTigs, Lepus Blanc}}}

Such a cute little itty baby turtle. Squeeeeee!

Work today is going to be rough. I’m off tomorrow, thankfully.

Great turtle tales, everyone! I love the baby box turtle!

I saved a snapper from the road once. It was pretty big, but I just grabbed his tail and pulled him to the side of the road. I think that’s the way he was headed. He wasn’t happy with my help, however. He hissed and snapped, but at least he didn’t pee on me.

I had a box turtle as a pet as a small child. He lived in the back yard. One day he wandered off, and I was heartbroken. :frowning:

When I drove a delivery van in Waco, there used to be herds of turtles crossing the highway. I would try to avoid hitting them, but sometimes it was unavoidable. I saved many of those guys, probably twenty, and brought them home to live in the garden.

{{{Mama Tigs and Rusty and family}}} - I’m so sorry. It’s gonna be the hardest day of my life when my old dog Blaze has to go. He struggles so hard to get up sometimes. He’s taken to pulling himself with his front legs across the kitchen floor, because it’s easier to slide on the tile, than get up. :frowning: He’s still pretty happy, just very arthritic.

Have a good day, all!