A third party audit of a family's household finances?

[Frylock]

@justanothermike

If she sees it every charge, why the need to track? It’s all right there. She can make her own report if he won’t do YNAB.

That’s what I said, ‘do it anyway.’ But her ultimate problem is that he’s not listening. She was hoping for buy in.

[Thudlow_Boink]

@filmore

I get the sense that she might be more of a saver and feels uncomfortable not having a financial plan.

Now that you mention this I seem to recall reading a book or article about people’s different “financial personality types” along the lines described here, and how this can lead to conflict in a marriage. Maybe that is what’s going on here.

[Bone]

It’s not necessarily just tracking it on her own. It’s pretty easy to hide expenses if he wants to. Direct deposit into a different account, separate credit card, electronic only statements.

Without his buy in it could be pretty hard.

[Mr.Nylock]

There are people who do this thing for a living - it is not uncommon in the least. It is one of the things a CPA might do. The best thing to do is call a small audit firm. Technically what you are seeking would fall under attestation service (something similar but different from an audit).

Generally - and this is me trying to remember the details of the audit class I took last semester - there are three levels of service you can get depending on how in depth the firms looks into the records and gathers evidence - and there is a significant price difference for each. I believe a simple compilation might be sufficient for the financial situation described in the OP.

This is just general information I am trying to provide based on one audit class I’ve had, so you probably should do some googling of audit and attestation services if you want to verify the accuracy of my comments.

ETA: In a sense, divorce attorneys do provide these services - but all they really do is subcontract an audit firm AFAIK.

[edwardcoast]

@Frylock

I’ve got a friend who is having major trouble with her husband concerning how the household finances should be run. She wants to track income and expenses more closely. He is positively opposed to it, as (this is what he has actually said) he makes “the big bucks” and “shouldn’t have to worry” about things like this.

He does in fact make the big bucks. But of course that does not mean he “shouldn’t have to worry” about making sure you’re, you know, spending less than you make and setting yourself up for a good retirement etc.

In the background is a history of compulsive, addictive behavior on his part, and a tendency to treat her concerns as a kind of nagging.

(They have a more solid relationship than the impression you may have from the above–the above is just one aspect of the relationship, and relationships are multifaceted.(

Anyway, I’m wondering if there are, what, accountants? Financial planners? Something? Who will take a look at a household’s finances, where money goes, etc, and deliver some kind of report that objectively explains whether the household is managing its money acceptably, and if not, why not.

Or is there maybe a kind of counseling designed specifically for this kind of situation?

I mentioned that instead of going to him herself again after he recently roundly rejected her proposal that they use the software You Need a Budget, it would be awesome if some neutral third party could come in and take a look and set them (probably the HE part of them) straight about what needs to happen.

Are there people that do this? What are they called? What’s the standard term for a service like this?

It doesn’t matter who gets involved. This would be like hiring an expert on dieting to monitor and report on what everyone eats. As if showing a report to an obese person is going to be an eye-opening experience. It won’t be, it will just upset them.

People rarely change unless it’s their idea to do so. Although I don’t do this, there are men who hide what they spend money on from their wives. Some hit the bar every day and spend cash they don’t want anyone to know about or be questioned, just as an example. Others gamble. Or have expensive hobbies.

I will say this, it’s stupid for both in a relationship not to be involved in their own finances. I know a couple where the husband was in a series accident, and in the hospital for a month. During that time, the wife told me she didn’t even know how to pay their bills that came in the mail because her husband did all that.